Pinned
Hat
@hatthebutcher.bsky.social
· Jul 25
A man hands you a box telling you it's full of your worst fears. The reality is the box is empty but oh how you fill it still.
Reposted by Hat
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
November 30, 2025 at 12:36 AM
[I turn on the TV and every channel is showing me being burned in effigy] This can't be good
Reposted by Hat
So embarrassing when you’re out buying groceries and you realize you forgot to live a meaningful life
November 30, 2025 at 4:30 AM
So embarrassing when you’re out buying groceries and you realize you forgot to live a meaningful life
Hum, interesting items in this target "swag bag"
A kilo of human hair dripping with a red ichor
Boric acid
An Erlenmeyer full of ether
Teeth stuff
A packet of expired flavour aid
A gift card to Dicks Sporting goods
A kilo of human hair dripping with a red ichor
Boric acid
An Erlenmeyer full of ether
Teeth stuff
A packet of expired flavour aid
A gift card to Dicks Sporting goods
November 30, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Hum, interesting items in this target "swag bag"
A kilo of human hair dripping with a red ichor
Boric acid
An Erlenmeyer full of ether
Teeth stuff
A packet of expired flavour aid
A gift card to Dicks Sporting goods
A kilo of human hair dripping with a red ichor
Boric acid
An Erlenmeyer full of ether
Teeth stuff
A packet of expired flavour aid
A gift card to Dicks Sporting goods
The only augmented reality glasses I want are those ones that one pervert dude in thirteen ghost wore before two slabs of glass cut him in half
September 20, 2025 at 3:11 AM
The only augmented reality glasses I want are those ones that one pervert dude in thirteen ghost wore before two slabs of glass cut him in half
Reposted by Hat
I'm not sure about this branding but I'm not the billionaire business genius
September 18, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I'm not sure about this branding but I'm not the billionaire business genius
Reposted by Hat
I believe that we should be afforded the same grace and dignity in death that we gave our perceived enemies in life. So when I die, you can talk SO much shit. Just roast the hell out of me
September 19, 2025 at 1:15 PM
I believe that we should be afforded the same grace and dignity in death that we gave our perceived enemies in life. So when I die, you can talk SO much shit. Just roast the hell out of me
Reposted by Hat
Loops shouldn't hog all the fun we should disintegrate other things too.
September 19, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Loops shouldn't hog all the fun we should disintegrate other things too.
Floating some ideas to John Nabisco on how we should kill the keebler elves with an axe
September 18, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Floating some ideas to John Nabisco on how we should kill the keebler elves with an axe
Reposted by Hat
Catch me melding with the divine machinery. Endless miles of wire bundle together in a now living heaving mass of fiberoptics. On the upper floors a middle management guy sets his password to "PasswordCompanyname"
August 27, 2024 at 6:06 PM
Catch me melding with the divine machinery. Endless miles of wire bundle together in a now living heaving mass of fiberoptics. On the upper floors a middle management guy sets his password to "PasswordCompanyname"
Reposted by Hat
Our whining god made of spare brush motors and a bucket full of TEMU fire sale raspberry PIs. It wants us to kill it.
August 27, 2024 at 7:02 PM
Our whining god made of spare brush motors and a bucket full of TEMU fire sale raspberry PIs. It wants us to kill it.
Reposted by Hat
"Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?" she asks.
"What's a matter baby?" I ask.
I'm shown a newborn so dense the fabric of space-time sags in a deep gravity well, drawing nearby celestial objects inextricably towards it.
"Uhhhhhh… The bricks, I guess?"
"What's a matter baby?" I ask.
I'm shown a newborn so dense the fabric of space-time sags in a deep gravity well, drawing nearby celestial objects inextricably towards it.
"Uhhhhhh… The bricks, I guess?"
July 5, 2023 at 1:57 PM
"Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?" she asks.
"What's a matter baby?" I ask.
I'm shown a newborn so dense the fabric of space-time sags in a deep gravity well, drawing nearby celestial objects inextricably towards it.
"Uhhhhhh… The bricks, I guess?"
"What's a matter baby?" I ask.
I'm shown a newborn so dense the fabric of space-time sags in a deep gravity well, drawing nearby celestial objects inextricably towards it.
"Uhhhhhh… The bricks, I guess?"
Reposted by Hat
Absolute Ball-less Cowards
September 18, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Absolute Ball-less Cowards
Reposted by Hat
ABC - Always Be Caving
September 18, 2025 at 3:39 AM
ABC - Always Be Caving
Is Kirby a blue mage?
September 17, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Is Kirby a blue mage?
I'm going to follow up on this now that I've beaten the bug game that's about bugs. It's wonderful. It's so good. I smiled the whole time. I'm not going to pretend you're going to have an easy time. It is hard at times but it's so good. Play the bug game, for bugs, by bugs, of bugs
I don't think Silksongs launch was malicious. I just think Team Cherry was excited to launch their game 7 years after hollow knight. It's not on them how other dev houses and publishers get pissy about the 20 dollar price tag when AAA publishers want to charge 80+ for base games.
September 17, 2025 at 4:22 AM
I'm going to follow up on this now that I've beaten the bug game that's about bugs. It's wonderful. It's so good. I smiled the whole time. I'm not going to pretend you're going to have an easy time. It is hard at times but it's so good. Play the bug game, for bugs, by bugs, of bugs
I don't think Silksongs launch was malicious. I just think Team Cherry was excited to launch their game 7 years after hollow knight. It's not on them how other dev houses and publishers get pissy about the 20 dollar price tag when AAA publishers want to charge 80+ for base games.
September 10, 2025 at 3:20 AM
I don't think Silksongs launch was malicious. I just think Team Cherry was excited to launch their game 7 years after hollow knight. It's not on them how other dev houses and publishers get pissy about the 20 dollar price tag when AAA publishers want to charge 80+ for base games.
Reposted by Hat
cursed pac-man tattoo roams my flesh at night, gobbling moles and freckles, whispering "you're next, blinky" in my ear
November 24, 2024 at 6:20 PM
cursed pac-man tattoo roams my flesh at night, gobbling moles and freckles, whispering "you're next, blinky" in my ear
Reposted by Hat
Growing up surfing the world wide web unsupervised, finding websites with photos of you in places you've never been next to people you've never known. A pop up ad showing Jeffery the Toys r Us Giraffe strangling a man with a wire.
July 16, 2024 at 4:36 PM
Growing up surfing the world wide web unsupervised, finding websites with photos of you in places you've never been next to people you've never known. A pop up ad showing Jeffery the Toys r Us Giraffe strangling a man with a wire.
Reposted by Hat
They won't allow me to fill a man with nails and send him through the MRI machine just to see what that would do. God forbid a girl be curious
April 15, 2025 at 4:15 PM
They won't allow me to fill a man with nails and send him through the MRI machine just to see what that would do. God forbid a girl be curious
Reposted by Hat
You know what I’m taking from this experience? Nothing! My brain is a sieve. I will not recall a single moment from today if you try to reminisce with me in the future.
April 16, 2024 at 11:08 PM
You know what I’m taking from this experience? Nothing! My brain is a sieve. I will not recall a single moment from today if you try to reminisce with me in the future.
Reposted by Hat
(fucks up quite badly in an obvious way, I'm grievously injured, with broken bones protruding from my skin in multiple areas) leave me alone, I'm doing a bit
August 25, 2025 at 7:07 PM
(fucks up quite badly in an obvious way, I'm grievously injured, with broken bones protruding from my skin in multiple areas) leave me alone, I'm doing a bit
Reposted by Hat
Memento-ed up my body to compensate for a failing memory, and now I stare at a tattoo sea wondering what the hell they all mean.
August 23, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Memento-ed up my body to compensate for a failing memory, and now I stare at a tattoo sea wondering what the hell they all mean.
You've seen shark tank! You've sat in confusion watching dragons den, NOW get ready for The Wolf Pack! Watch as your idiot cousin Terry gets ripped apart by wolves while trying to pitch his stupid HVAC business idea!
August 23, 2025 at 5:56 PM
You've seen shark tank! You've sat in confusion watching dragons den, NOW get ready for The Wolf Pack! Watch as your idiot cousin Terry gets ripped apart by wolves while trying to pitch his stupid HVAC business idea!
Reposted by Hat
My problem is that I love bad bitches. Also that I drink gasoline I buy with credit cards I find on the old people I knock over and kick while in a "'oline fugue".
August 17, 2025 at 2:16 PM
My problem is that I love bad bitches. Also that I drink gasoline I buy with credit cards I find on the old people I knock over and kick while in a "'oline fugue".
New podcast idea, The Gas Leak! In where several hosts gather around a table and talk until they succumb to the toxins. Given how most podcast hosts talk you shouldn't notice much of a difference
August 11, 2025 at 8:22 PM
New podcast idea, The Gas Leak! In where several hosts gather around a table and talk until they succumb to the toxins. Given how most podcast hosts talk you shouldn't notice much of a difference