Johnnie: Eating all the Cookies
@dadbaud.cocktailcon.org
Broken action figure
InfoSec in the streets, regex in the sheets
CocktailCon co-founder
He/him
InfoSec in the streets, regex in the sheets
CocktailCon co-founder
He/him
FWIW, I would be totally unsurprised if this were at least half of my friends.
January 30, 2026 at 3:13 AM
FWIW, I would be totally unsurprised if this were at least half of my friends.
Will Homan even fit in a child's XL brown shirt?
January 28, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Will Homan even fit in a child's XL brown shirt?
No... I think he got that one right. Or maybe he meant to say Putin.
Trump now confuses Congress with China
Trump: "China will be sending me a bill very shortly supporting year round E15 to my desk, and I will sign it without delay"
January 28, 2026 at 1:59 PM
No... I think he got that one right. Or maybe he meant to say Putin.
Imagine if the people of MN decided, "one of us, all of you"?
January 24, 2026 at 9:07 PM
Imagine if the people of MN decided, "one of us, all of you"?
The Good Place.
They sewed-up every story arc. A couple unexpected heroes. They could have pumped out a couple more seasons, but ended it when the story was told.
They sewed-up every story arc. A couple unexpected heroes. They could have pumped out a couple more seasons, but ended it when the story was told.
Given that apparently the Stranger Things finale was meh (idk, didn't watch it, just the scuttlebutt) and we're not that far removed from the disastrous GOT finale that retroactively made everyone have never cared about the show:
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
What's the *best* ending to a show you've ever seen? Quote/reply etc
January 7, 2026 at 6:29 AM
The Good Place.
They sewed-up every story arc. A couple unexpected heroes. They could have pumped out a couple more seasons, but ended it when the story was told.
They sewed-up every story arc. A couple unexpected heroes. They could have pumped out a couple more seasons, but ended it when the story was told.
Reposted by Johnnie: Eating all the Cookies
Thank you for importing content from the child porn website, but I'm really not interested. I need you to know that there's nothing I need to see from the world's prominent pedophilia website.
January 5, 2026 at 1:33 PM
Thank you for importing content from the child porn website, but I'm really not interested. I need you to know that there's nothing I need to see from the world's prominent pedophilia website.
Here's the thing: the world was made aware that Musk is an absolute shitheel of a person since 2018. You know, when he thought making survivors wait 6 months while he built a mini-sub ro rescue them, then accused their rescuer of being a pedo?
Yeah.... So what's your new excuse?
Yeah.... So what's your new excuse?
i wonder whether this person likes elon musk
January 4, 2026 at 7:35 PM
Here's the thing: the world was made aware that Musk is an absolute shitheel of a person since 2018. You know, when he thought making survivors wait 6 months while he built a mini-sub ro rescue them, then accused their rescuer of being a pedo?
Yeah.... So what's your new excuse?
Yeah.... So what's your new excuse?
My 2026 Hot Take is:
You really don't need to post ANYTHING from the Hell site. We all know it's a collective dumpster fire the size of the Amazon rainforests. We don't need any more evidence to that effect.
You really don't need to post ANYTHING from the Hell site. We all know it's a collective dumpster fire the size of the Amazon rainforests. We don't need any more evidence to that effect.
January 1, 2026 at 2:45 PM
My 2026 Hot Take is:
You really don't need to post ANYTHING from the Hell site. We all know it's a collective dumpster fire the size of the Amazon rainforests. We don't need any more evidence to that effect.
You really don't need to post ANYTHING from the Hell site. We all know it's a collective dumpster fire the size of the Amazon rainforests. We don't need any more evidence to that effect.
As the parent of a Gen Z... and as someone who passed 5th grade Social Studies: yeah, when the choice is "I support the party who uses unsupported religious doctrine to punish people who have no impact on my life" vs "I don't support genocide", the divide becomes a bit more important.
Everyone has a list of so-called "red flags" when they're dating. And for some, especially younger Americans, different political views is a relationship deal breaker.
Majority of Gen Z swipe left on dating people with opposite political views
Everyone has a list of so-called "red flags" when they're dating. And for some, especially younger Americans, different political views is a relationship deal breaker.
n.pr
December 31, 2025 at 2:43 PM
As the parent of a Gen Z... and as someone who passed 5th grade Social Studies: yeah, when the choice is "I support the party who uses unsupported religious doctrine to punish people who have no impact on my life" vs "I don't support genocide", the divide becomes a bit more important.
Elon Musk's healthcare is like having Dr. Mengele as your doctor.
No, really.
No, really.
MechaHitler, M.D.
December 26, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Elon Musk's healthcare is like having Dr. Mengele as your doctor.
No, really.
No, really.
Well, this is a new take on "asshole sunning"....
December 26, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Well, this is a new take on "asshole sunning"....
Reposted by Johnnie: Eating all the Cookies
Can someone please respond to Stephen Miller with this message from Frank Sinatra?
December 26, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Can someone please respond to Stephen Miller with this message from Frank Sinatra?
I had the opportunity to move to Surrey with the last job. Everyone was like, "you don't want to live in Surrey."
I dunno. This kinda really makes me want to live in Surrey....
I dunno. This kinda really makes me want to live in Surrey....
Alt text provided:
December 25, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I had the opportunity to move to Surrey with the last job. Everyone was like, "you don't want to live in Surrey."
I dunno. This kinda really makes me want to live in Surrey....
I dunno. This kinda really makes me want to live in Surrey....
This photo. THAT look on Joshua's face says, "This ain't business. This, right here, is what you do to Nazis."
December 20, 2025 at 7:59 PM
This photo. THAT look on Joshua's face says, "This ain't business. This, right here, is what you do to Nazis."
DaFuq Microsoft? Did you poach your new logo designers from Fisher-Price?
This has a whole, "the Excel workbook says, 'mehhhhh,'" to it.
This has a whole, "the Excel workbook says, 'mehhhhh,'" to it.
December 19, 2025 at 2:25 PM
DaFuq Microsoft? Did you poach your new logo designers from Fisher-Price?
This has a whole, "the Excel workbook says, 'mehhhhh,'" to it.
This has a whole, "the Excel workbook says, 'mehhhhh,'" to it.
I didn't know this was a thing. I encourage you to tell your applicants why they didn't get hired.
"The applicant we chose had more experience in this critical skill."
"The person we chose came highly recommended by a colleague."
"Your background check shows a history of racism and bigotry."
"The applicant we chose had more experience in this critical skill."
"The person we chose came highly recommended by a colleague."
"Your background check shows a history of racism and bigotry."
longstanding theory on this is that people who know the applicant that they don't want to hire has racial resentment offer "wish i could've hired you, but they made me hire a black woman instead!" as a let-them-down-easy cope rather than admit to them that they just didn't want to hire them.
December 19, 2025 at 2:12 PM
I didn't know this was a thing. I encourage you to tell your applicants why they didn't get hired.
"The applicant we chose had more experience in this critical skill."
"The person we chose came highly recommended by a colleague."
"Your background check shows a history of racism and bigotry."
"The applicant we chose had more experience in this critical skill."
"The person we chose came highly recommended by a colleague."
"Your background check shows a history of racism and bigotry."
Reposted by Johnnie: Eating all the Cookies
I'm hiring (Australia remote) Senior OT DFIR job-boards.greenhouse.io/drag...
job-boards.greenhouse.io
December 19, 2025 at 5:21 AM
I'm hiring (Australia remote) Senior OT DFIR job-boards.greenhouse.io/drag...
I keep on thinking about the fact that my dad was able to pay for college working part-time at a gas station.
Oh, but there's more! He had enough left-over money to buy a slightly beat-up Porsche 911 with a couple friends and they turned it into a dune racer. Like, WTF?
Oh, but there's more! He had enough left-over money to buy a slightly beat-up Porsche 911 with a couple friends and they turned it into a dune racer. Like, WTF?
December 18, 2025 at 7:05 PM
I keep on thinking about the fact that my dad was able to pay for college working part-time at a gas station.
Oh, but there's more! He had enough left-over money to buy a slightly beat-up Porsche 911 with a couple friends and they turned it into a dune racer. Like, WTF?
Oh, but there's more! He had enough left-over money to buy a slightly beat-up Porsche 911 with a couple friends and they turned it into a dune racer. Like, WTF?
Hey Chicago peeps, you know what to do.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Everyone else go home — this is the year we secure ABOLISH ICE on a Chicago Snowplow
chicagoshovels.org
chicagoshovels.org
December 18, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Hey Chicago peeps, you know what to do.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Reposted by Johnnie: Eating all the Cookies
This is always a good time, come join us TOMORROW!
Our White Elephant Party is *THIS WEDNESDAY* at the usual time and place! We’ve got a massive pizza and beer sponsor, *WIZ,* and a tap takeover by Toppling Goliath Brewing!!
Make sure your calendar is correct, and bring some friends and “gifts”
Rules here:
www.meetup.com/burbsec/even...
Make sure your calendar is correct, and bring some friends and “gifts”
Rules here:
www.meetup.com/burbsec/even...
BurbSec East White Elephant & Tap Takeover - Sponsored by Wiz!!, Wed, Dec 17, 2025, 6:00 PM | Meetup
**This year's White Elephant Exchange is sponsored by [WIZ!!](https://wiz.io),** and will feature a **TAP TAKEOVER with beers and swag by [Toppling Goliath Brewing](https:/
www.meetup.com
December 16, 2025 at 7:10 PM
This is always a good time, come join us TOMORROW!
Reposted by Johnnie: Eating all the Cookies
Buried under 12 paragraphs and 4 ads is this: that an investigation into the politicization of data was conducted not by … actually reviewing any data … but just by interviewing senior officials who disliked their chief.
So more politics.
So more politics.
December 14, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Buried under 12 paragraphs and 4 ads is this: that an investigation into the politicization of data was conducted not by … actually reviewing any data … but just by interviewing senior officials who disliked their chief.
So more politics.
So more politics.
So... just like having a chat with grandma. Cool. Does this one also remind me that I'm a disappointment to the whole family and that my father is a race traitor?
Unfortunately I did not pay for Premium Grandma w/out Ads and had to settle for free Grandma, and she starts every conversation telling me it would be cool if I got a job with ICE.
IN DEPTH | If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
December 11, 2025 at 2:20 PM
So... just like having a chat with grandma. Cool. Does this one also remind me that I'm a disappointment to the whole family and that my father is a race traitor?
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: I CAN'T WAIT TO GO DANCING. HOW DO I LOOK?
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 11, 2025 at 2:14 PM
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: I CAN'T WAIT TO GO DANCING. HOW DO I LOOK?
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
As a former nightclub doorman, guys like this invariably have a fetish of getting their ass kicked and hard-fucked by burly gay dudes.
Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon calls on his fellow Christians to use the slur "faggot" in the fight against LGBTQ rights: "No, stop it, faggots. No, you will not convert my children. You're degenerates, you're predators, and you're evil." www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwat...
December 11, 2025 at 1:41 AM
As a former nightclub doorman, guys like this invariably have a fetish of getting their ass kicked and hard-fucked by burly gay dudes.
Imma be honest here: after a tattoo, I really want pizza, so I could get behind this.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.
December 8, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Imma be honest here: after a tattoo, I really want pizza, so I could get behind this.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.