Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
@dadbaud.cocktailcon.org
Broken action figure
InfoSec in the streets, regex in the sheets
CocktailCon co-founder
He/him
InfoSec in the streets, regex in the sheets
CocktailCon co-founder
He/him
So... just like having a chat with grandma. Cool. Does this one also remind me that I'm a disappointment to the whole family and that my father is a race traitor?
Unfortunately I did not pay for Premium Grandma w/out Ads and had to settle for free Grandma, and she starts every conversation telling me it would be cool if I got a job with ICE.
IN DEPTH | If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
December 11, 2025 at 2:20 PM
So... just like having a chat with grandma. Cool. Does this one also remind me that I'm a disappointment to the whole family and that my father is a race traitor?
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: I CAN'T WAIT TO GO DANCING. HOW DO I LOOK?
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 11, 2025 at 2:14 PM
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: I CAN'T WAIT TO GO DANCING. HOW DO I LOOK?
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
PRIEST: Dancing? You're a skull in a box. Why?
SKULL: WE'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BOSSANOVA ABBY
PRIEST: No, we're going to Fossanova Abbey
SKULL: MY SOUL YEARNS, FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND FLESH CRY OUT
As a former nightclub doorman, guys like this invariably have a fetish of getting their ass kicked and hard-fucked by burly gay dudes.
Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon calls on his fellow Christians to use the slur "faggot" in the fight against LGBTQ rights: "No, stop it, faggots. No, you will not convert my children. You're degenerates, you're predators, and you're evil." www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwat...
December 11, 2025 at 1:41 AM
As a former nightclub doorman, guys like this invariably have a fetish of getting their ass kicked and hard-fucked by burly gay dudes.
Imma be honest here: after a tattoo, I really want pizza, so I could get behind this.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.
December 8, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Imma be honest here: after a tattoo, I really want pizza, so I could get behind this.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.
That orphanage, though, shady AF.
Hey, if you live in Chicago and see this, the City will shovel that sidewalk and bill (fine) the business owner. No ICE, no cops, just warning before a big fat bill:
www.chicago.gov/city/en/dept...
www.chicago.gov/city/en/dept...
December 8, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Hey, if you live in Chicago and see this, the City will shovel that sidewalk and bill (fine) the business owner. No ICE, no cops, just warning before a big fat bill:
www.chicago.gov/city/en/dept...
www.chicago.gov/city/en/dept...
ALMOST lost my coffee on this one.
I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
December 7, 2025 at 4:56 PM
ALMOST lost my coffee on this one.
I'll be 100% honest: I'd find much more use with a robot horse than a robot human.
Oooh! Make me a robot triceratops and we're on to something.
Oooh! Make me a robot triceratops and we're on to something.
Always important to remember that this is because these robots are "faking" being human
Theyre actually capable of way more and way weirder stuff
Theyre actually capable of way more and way weirder stuff
December 6, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I'll be 100% honest: I'd find much more use with a robot horse than a robot human.
Oooh! Make me a robot triceratops and we're on to something.
Oooh! Make me a robot triceratops and we're on to something.
Cloudflare, can you please just stop with the whole, "let's break the Internet" thing? I need my sleep!
Wwdits Shadowsfx GIF
ALT: Wwdits Shadowsfx GIF
media.tenor.com
December 5, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Cloudflare, can you please just stop with the whole, "let's break the Internet" thing? I need my sleep!
FWIW, Amazon literally has this. They realized it was too expensive to deliver the last mile in many cases and cut a deal with USPS.
If they do go through with this, you live in a rural area, and you have Prime, fully expect packages to never show up on time.
If they do go through with this, you live in a rural area, and you have Prime, fully expect packages to never show up on time.
Exclusive: Amazon has long been USPS’s top customer, providing over $6 billion in annual revenue in 2025.
But Amazon may give up its long-standing partnership with USPS to deliver packages itself, which could spell disaster for the mail agency.
But Amazon may give up its long-standing partnership with USPS to deliver packages itself, which could spell disaster for the mail agency.
Amazon explores cutting ties with USPS, building its own delivery network
Amazon looks into expanding its nationwide delivery network and giving up its longstanding partnership with the U.S. Postal Service.
www.washingtonpost.com
December 5, 2025 at 10:26 AM
FWIW, Amazon literally has this. They realized it was too expensive to deliver the last mile in many cases and cut a deal with USPS.
If they do go through with this, you live in a rural area, and you have Prime, fully expect packages to never show up on time.
If they do go through with this, you live in a rural area, and you have Prime, fully expect packages to never show up on time.
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
Every time I see a story like this, I wish someone would post pics of that school's main library and science labs next to the locker rooms
Yet another reminder that the very best job in this world is failed college football coach.
November 30, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Every time I see a story like this, I wish someone would post pics of that school's main library and science labs next to the locker rooms
As a former chef and a current kisser, I can verify this is chef's kiss.
“Ah, just one more thing, sir. You’re blowing up those boats, saying they’re filled with drugs headed for the US. But then you go and pardon the guy who brought in 400 tons of cocaine. That’s billions of doses. Help me understand that.”
November 30, 2025 at 6:06 PM
As a former chef and a current kisser, I can verify this is chef's kiss.
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
This has so much, "I don't get paid enough for this bullshit!" energy to it by Vic Damone.
Wait, so the actor who played the singer who used the godfather's influence to get a movie role in "The Godfather" (1972) apparently got his role in "The Godfather" because of the intervention of his own real-life godfather???
![Pasted in quote from Wikipedia:
Johnny Fontane
Johnny Fontane, a mob-associated singer and Vito's godson, seeks Vito's help in securing a movie role; Vito dispatches his consigliere, Tom Hagen, to Los Angeles to persuade studio head Jack Woltz to give Johnny the part. Woltz refuses until he wakes up in bed with the severed head of his prized stallion.
Al Martino, a then famed singer in nightclubs, was notified of the character Johnny Fontane by a friend who read the eponymous novel and felt Martino represented the character of Johnny Fontane.[3][4] Martino then contacted producer Albert S. Ruddy, who gave him the part.[3] However, Martino was stripped of the part after Francis Ford Coppola became director and then awarded the role to singer Vic Damone.[3] According to Martino, after being stripped of the role, he went to Russell Bufalino, his godfather and a crime boss, who then orchestrated the publication of various news articles that claimed Coppola was unaware of Ruddy having given Martino the part.[3] Damone eventually dropped the role because he did not want to provoke the mob, in addition to being paid too little.[5][3] Ultimately, the part of Johnny Fontane was given to Martino.[3][6]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:d6lghffuwlinx22c2rtfbdwv/bafkreiau7qifl7tt7pnmjtjjfv3yaejlpct66frjtufm57yuga66fxjpqa@jpeg)
November 25, 2025 at 5:33 PM
This has so much, "I don't get paid enough for this bullshit!" energy to it by Vic Damone.
Because he's, literally, the MEDIOCRE WHITE MAN we've all been talking about.
I’ve been waiting for an article like this for some time, and while it’s not what I was hoping for — which, on reflection, would be kind of a supervillain’s monologue, which don’t actually happen — it may be the best we’ll ever get. Gift link:
www.theatlantic.com/magazine/202...
www.theatlantic.com/magazine/202...
Why Is Robert F. Kennedy Jr. So Convinced He’s Right?
How an outsider, once ignored by the public-health establishment, became the most powerful man in science
www.theatlantic.com
November 24, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Because he's, literally, the MEDIOCRE WHITE MAN we've all been talking about.
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else https://theonion.com/jd-vance-cries-in-bathroom-after-trump-uses-piggy-nickname-on-someone-else/
November 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
JD Vance Cries In Bathroom After Trump Uses ‘Piggy’ Nickname On Someone Else https://theonion.com/jd-vance-cries-in-bathroom-after-trump-uses-piggy-nickname-on-someone-else/
When formal documents omit the Oxford Comma.
Me when one of the kids eats all the leftover kalbi
November 20, 2025 at 4:35 PM
When formal documents omit the Oxford Comma.
Let's be clear: Larry Summers is apologizing for getting caught, not for r@ping girls.
Larry Summers discusses his “statement of regret” for his disturbing messages to Jeffrey Epstein with Harvard students
November 19, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Let's be clear: Larry Summers is apologizing for getting caught, not for r@ping girls.
They're right. That name might be confusing or offensive to others.
Maybe "World Shitter Day"?
Maybe "World Shitter Day"?
November 19 is World Toilet Day — officially declared by the United Nations to bring attention to the the 3.4 billion people who live without "safely managed sanitation." n.pr/3X1BB07
World Toilet Day is today! Um .. is that really the best name?
November 19 is World Toilet Day — officially declared by the United Nations to bring attention to the the 3.4 billion people who live without "safely managed sanitation."
n.pr
November 19, 2025 at 3:47 PM
They're right. That name might be confusing or offensive to others.
Maybe "World Shitter Day"?
Maybe "World Shitter Day"?
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
Do you want to play a game? How about Disabling Civilization: POLICY EDITION? Explore critical infrastructure, cybersecurity, and the policies keeping essential systems safe.
More info: bsidesottawa.ca
#PolicyVillage #CriticalInfrastructure #CyberSecurity
More info: bsidesottawa.ca
#PolicyVillage #CriticalInfrastructure #CyberSecurity
November 12, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Do you want to play a game? How about Disabling Civilization: POLICY EDITION? Explore critical infrastructure, cybersecurity, and the policies keeping essential systems safe.
More info: bsidesottawa.ca
#PolicyVillage #CriticalInfrastructure #CyberSecurity
More info: bsidesottawa.ca
#PolicyVillage #CriticalInfrastructure #CyberSecurity
"They thought they were going to be models and actresses. Epstain kept locked them on an island and let guys like Drumpf r@pe them. They were kids."
"They were old enough. No way they'd fall for that."
"Uh huh. You bought NFTs and invested your life savings in AI."
"They were old enough. No way they'd fall for that."
"Uh huh. You bought NFTs and invested your life savings in AI."
November 17, 2025 at 10:29 PM
"They thought they were going to be models and actresses. Epstain kept locked them on an island and let guys like Drumpf r@pe them. They were kids."
"They were old enough. No way they'd fall for that."
"Uh huh. You bought NFTs and invested your life savings in AI."
"They were old enough. No way they'd fall for that."
"Uh huh. You bought NFTs and invested your life savings in AI."
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
I say it over and over again: when you have that much money, you want to live where you want to live and you are simply not going to relocate because of marginal tax rates
Alan Dershowitz will never leave Martha’s Vineyard and they won’t even sell him a pierogi
Alan Dershowitz will never leave Martha’s Vineyard and they won’t even sell him a pierogi
NEW: The first two years of Massachusetts' millionaire tax has raised $3 billion more than expected.
And rather than driving the rich away, IPS researchers found that the number of millionaires has *increased.*
Tax the rich. Greg Ryan in @bloomberg.com:
And rather than driving the rich away, IPS researchers found that the number of millionaires has *increased.*
Tax the rich. Greg Ryan in @bloomberg.com:
Millionaire Tax That Inspired Mamdani Fuels $5.7 Billion Haul in Massachusetts
A millionaire levy in Massachusetts that New York City mayoral frontrunner Zohran Mamdani holds up as a model for taxing the rich has generated $3 billion more in revenue than expected without forcing...
www.bloomberg.com
November 14, 2025 at 2:24 AM
I say it over and over again: when you have that much money, you want to live where you want to live and you are simply not going to relocate because of marginal tax rates
Alan Dershowitz will never leave Martha’s Vineyard and they won’t even sell him a pierogi
Alan Dershowitz will never leave Martha’s Vineyard and they won’t even sell him a pierogi
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
a “Space Force”, if you will
November 13, 2025 at 2:27 PM
a “Space Force”, if you will
Reposted by Johnnie Just Ate All the Halloween Candy
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
November 13, 2025 at 1:37 AM
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.