Pinned
Jemma
@cygnus5.bsky.social
· Sep 15
Unsolicited advice. With a side of judgment.
Reposted by Jemma
Having a son and naming him Ærthwyrme
December 5, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Having a son and naming him Ærthwyrme
Reposted by Jemma
Frantically explaining to a group that I wasn't being creepy, I was "doing Blue Velvet" but they don't understand
December 5, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Frantically explaining to a group that I wasn't being creepy, I was "doing Blue Velvet" but they don't understand
The biggest lie I ever told was, “I miss you too.”
December 5, 2025 at 4:03 PM
The biggest lie I ever told was, “I miss you too.”
Reposted by Jemma
Isotoner - super weird name for a glove. Nobody questions it.
December 4, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Isotoner - super weird name for a glove. Nobody questions it.
I enjoyed how your tile review included a detailed report of the chronic medical issues you were dealing with.
December 4, 2025 at 3:24 PM
I enjoyed how your tile review included a detailed report of the chronic medical issues you were dealing with.
This morning’s news story: A cop arrests a goat for excessive bleating and making an illegal ewe turn
December 3, 2025 at 12:59 PM
This morning’s news story: A cop arrests a goat for excessive bleating and making an illegal ewe turn
Do you ever look at animals in their natural habitat and wonder about the social politics of their friend groups or are you normal?
December 2, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Do you ever look at animals in their natural habitat and wonder about the social politics of their friend groups or are you normal?
Reposted by Jemma
I just got angry at dental floss. Things are going great
December 2, 2025 at 3:24 PM
I just got angry at dental floss. Things are going great
Reposted by Jemma
If I'm being honest I stopped circling back like 5 years ago
November 25, 2025 at 11:35 PM
If I'm being honest I stopped circling back like 5 years ago
Husband asked “How many tiles are you going to look at?”
“ALL OF THEM.”
“ALL OF THEM.”
December 2, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Husband asked “How many tiles are you going to look at?”
“ALL OF THEM.”
“ALL OF THEM.”
Reposted by Jemma
I'm sitting on the sofa alone. No music. No television. It is absolutely silent except for what sound the fridge makes. No cars out there. At all.
December 1, 2025 at 12:35 AM
I'm sitting on the sofa alone. No music. No television. It is absolutely silent except for what sound the fridge makes. No cars out there. At all.
The first time he called me Caterpillar Girl, I was offended. But then it grew on me.
November 29, 2025 at 8:38 PM
The first time he called me Caterpillar Girl, I was offended. But then it grew on me.
Never trust a man who always keeps his visitors outside
November 29, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Never trust a man who always keeps his visitors outside
It’s funny how we call it our “phone” when it’s the least thing that we use it for.
November 29, 2025 at 3:14 AM
It’s funny how we call it our “phone” when it’s the least thing that we use it for.
Reposted by Jemma
Thanksgiving is gonna be lit.
November 26, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Thanksgiving is gonna be lit.
Reposted by Jemma
I don’t know what I’ve done that every third ad is for cloth clogs, but I don’t want them. Please leave me alone.
November 26, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I don’t know what I’ve done that every third ad is for cloth clogs, but I don’t want them. Please leave me alone.
I wish I could be more chill about you finding that sauce pan that you forgot you put in the freezer that we collectively spent 15 minutes looking for that I low key thought I misplaced
November 26, 2025 at 10:35 PM
I wish I could be more chill about you finding that sauce pan that you forgot you put in the freezer that we collectively spent 15 minutes looking for that I low key thought I misplaced
If you were really kidnapped for six years, your eyebrows wouldn’t be on point and your hair would be a lot longer.
November 26, 2025 at 9:34 PM
If you were really kidnapped for six years, your eyebrows wouldn’t be on point and your hair would be a lot longer.
Moving restarts your husband’s learning curve to find ANYTHING.
November 25, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Moving restarts your husband’s learning curve to find ANYTHING.
I already regret leaving these at the thrift store
November 25, 2025 at 10:38 PM
I already regret leaving these at the thrift store
Reposted by Jemma
I worry that too many people have forgotten the true meaning of black Friday.
November 25, 2025 at 8:28 PM
I worry that too many people have forgotten the true meaning of black Friday.
Reposted by Jemma
"I want Clooney to come in The Pitt as a patient, be an absolute nightmare for one episode, then run off into the night shouting about how he’s Batman."
November 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
"I want Clooney to come in The Pitt as a patient, be an absolute nightmare for one episode, then run off into the night shouting about how he’s Batman."
Visited a little old lady who was moving. “Take whatever you want!” she told me. So I said, “I’ll take the cat!” And she cried “NO! NOT THE CAT!”
November 25, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Visited a little old lady who was moving. “Take whatever you want!” she told me. So I said, “I’ll take the cat!” And she cried “NO! NOT THE CAT!”
Reposted by Jemma
I have to take my medicine and it’s called HomeGoods.
November 25, 2025 at 7:58 PM
I have to take my medicine and it’s called HomeGoods.
Reposted by Jemma
Pretending to be Henry David Thoreau at Walden's pond so my mom and sister will bring me lunch.
November 25, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Pretending to be Henry David Thoreau at Walden's pond so my mom and sister will bring me lunch.