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Jemma

@cygnus5.bsky.social

360 followers 120 following 1.2K posts

not a hayseed

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 28d

Unsolicited advice. With a side of judgment.

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 14h

So sorry for your loss.

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 14h

That was her last summer with us

Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 21h

Love this

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Reposted by Jemma

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 2d

I hope your dog lives long enough to grow grizzled and cranky and wise. And if not, let them at least teach you how to live in the absolute moment 🐾

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David Hiller @bodhihodi.bsky.social · 1d

The road goes on forever

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 2d

In 1980, my mom invented the double bow for shoe tying and revolutionized babysitting.

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 3d

Our pickleball team name is “Nirvana” cause we’re all apologies.

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Andreya @andreyasasylum.bsky.social · 4d

Once you’re over 40, getting 10,000 steps a day is meaningless. You just get to stay fat.

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 4d

Marriage is looking for something of yours your husband moved while he asks you where something else is.

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Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 5d

*brings a grilled cheese to a knife fight so someone will cut it into triangles for me*

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 4d

I think I missed my true calling as an unnamed tramp in a Charles Dickens novel.

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Robert Manchild @robertmanchild.com · Sep 9

By November 40 percent of my blood will be soup.

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 4d

I want to be the kind of person you can call and ask if I still have the Elvis build a bear costume from 1999 and a child’s magic set. The answer, of course, will be yes and that I just need a little time to dig it out.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 4d

You're beautiful when you're angry at that other guy.

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 17d

I brought in garden tomatoes because you said your wife liked to make salsa and then you don’t stop by my office to pick them up after I message you is why I don’t bother making male friends at my age Keith.

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 5d

Oh look, it’s time for Easy Pants

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 5d

I doff my cap and get the hell out

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 5d

If you see an old guy in a flat cap headed to the woods while carrying an axe, a pick, and a shovel, he’s either going to make charcoal or settle a score. Either way, doff your cap

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 5d

Bluesky taught me the joy of blocking. I block people everywhere now. I just blocked an ex boyfriend on duolingo. I can't stop.

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 6d

I wasn’t only friends with her bc of her snoopy snow cone maker, but it didn’t hurt.

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jaypea but spooky @jpstarling.bsky.social · 6d

we haven’t had a big boat stuck in a while and I think we’re all feeling the pent up frustration of that

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 7d

We call our downstairs neighbor American Express because he’s everywhere you want to be.

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 8d

Another day, another diatribe

Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 9d

A mixture of mortification, shame, self loathing 🥲

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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 9d

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME