OLD CRIED PANTS
@captainfartpants.bsky.social
Careless Discharge
Seattle has one of the best color combos and somehow took all the appealing aspects out of tonight's shitty alternate uniforms.
December 19, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Seattle has one of the best color combos and somehow took all the appealing aspects out of tonight's shitty alternate uniforms.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended https://theonion.com/unconventional-director-sets-shakespeare-play-in-time-1819569151/
December 18, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended https://theonion.com/unconventional-director-sets-shakespeare-play-in-time-1819569151/
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
what percentage of replicator food is made from poop
December 18, 2025 at 10:13 PM
what percentage of replicator food is made from poop
@dhambrick63.bsky.social happy birthday!
a close up of a gingerbread man 's face with three red dots on it
ALT: a close up of a gingerbread man 's face with three red dots on it
media.tenor.com
December 18, 2025 at 3:41 PM
@dhambrick63.bsky.social happy birthday!
Hearing DJ interview Troy, there's really good chemistry. WiP can deliver the funny and the basics - I'd be fine for them to take mornings someday.
a person with a prosthetic leg is sitting on a chair holding a device that says biom
ALT: a person with a prosthetic leg is sitting on a chair holding a device that says biom
media.tenor.com
December 18, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Hearing DJ interview Troy, there's really good chemistry. WiP can deliver the funny and the basics - I'd be fine for them to take mornings someday.
Mayham (incorrect): A misspelling of mayhem.
December 17, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Mayham (incorrect): A misspelling of mayhem.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank https://theonion.com/ragu-unveils-sensory-deprivation-marinara-tank/
December 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank https://theonion.com/ragu-unveils-sensory-deprivation-marinara-tank/
@dumbzone69.bsky.social good holiday merch idea - sell the oil from Jake's forehead on pods as anointed oil. If it fails with Christians, maybe it would move well on Aakash's Saudi Journalist Dismemberment Comedy Tour?
December 15, 2025 at 9:51 PM
@dumbzone69.bsky.social good holiday merch idea - sell the oil from Jake's forehead on pods as anointed oil. If it fails with Christians, maybe it would move well on Aakash's Saudi Journalist Dismemberment Comedy Tour?
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens https://theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-regularly-happens-3/
December 15, 2025 at 5:21 PM
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens https://theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-regularly-happens-3/
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Congress Allocates $500 Million For Development Of Funkier Bass Lines https://theonion.com/congress-allocates-500-million-for-development-of-funk-1819579171/
December 15, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Congress Allocates $500 Million For Development Of Funkier Bass Lines https://theonion.com/congress-allocates-500-million-for-development-of-funk-1819579171/
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
They used to "laugh and call him names." Now they're all dead
December 14, 2025 at 1:55 PM
They used to "laugh and call him names." Now they're all dead
Since when is Daunte Culpepper not the starting Minnesota quarterback??
December 15, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Since when is Daunte Culpepper not the starting Minnesota quarterback??
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
why does going to warp speed give me an erection
December 14, 2025 at 11:40 PM
why does going to warp speed give me an erection
Woah, Curt Menefee look like grimace today, FR
a purple cartoon character is dancing in a room with balloons
ALT: a purple cartoon character is dancing in a room with balloons
media.tenor.com
December 14, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Woah, Curt Menefee look like grimace today, FR
Sanders is doing a bang up job. No way he was overhyped.
December 14, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Sanders is doing a bang up job. No way he was overhyped.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
a friend made this and because i am not selfish i am now sharing it with you, namaste
December 12, 2025 at 11:44 PM
a friend made this and because i am not selfish i am now sharing it with you, namaste
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
I won’t even walk across the office to see a coworker’s new baby. Nothing in the world could get me to ride a camel across the desert to deliver essential oils to a newborn in a barn
December 14, 2025 at 3:02 PM
I won’t even walk across the office to see a coworker’s new baby. Nothing in the world could get me to ride a camel across the desert to deliver essential oils to a newborn in a barn
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Klingon High Council,
I know that my family name is still in disgrace. It is not necessary that you send me annual reminder emails.
Worf
I know that my family name is still in disgrace. It is not necessary that you send me annual reminder emails.
Worf
November 3, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Klingon High Council,
I know that my family name is still in disgrace. It is not necessary that you send me annual reminder emails.
Worf
I know that my family name is still in disgrace. It is not necessary that you send me annual reminder emails.
Worf
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.
December 13, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Man Humiliates Himself At Holiday Party By Telling Coworkers He Appreciates Them
Man Humiliates Himself At Holiday Party By Telling Coworkers He Appreciates Them
CINCINNATI—Saying the man’s reputation was unlikely ever to recover from the embarrassment, sources confirmed Tuesday that local accountant Josh Hunter had completely humiliated himself at his company...
theonion.com
December 13, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Man Humiliates Himself At Holiday Party By Telling Coworkers He Appreciates Them
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
Reposted by OLD CRIED PANTS
ancient american mythology your little pony
December 12, 2025 at 9:22 PM
ancient american mythology your little pony