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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him)

@wheeltod.bsky.social

12K followers 420 following 1.4K posts

Just a regular, salt-of-the-earth coastal elite who enjoys curling up on fire in front of a nice bottle of wine A tiny blue dot in a deep blue state. Strictly no MDs My stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jpsxdd3bnniiqcujxiwlen75/feed/aaae7c4tw3fwo

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · Mar 24

I did a lot of drugs when I was younger on my way into work this morning.

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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 9h

They actually had to make the IQ test go higher and then retest me when I was a kid

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Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 10h

Im like old faithful except I have an anxiety attack every 90 minutes

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 10h

Seen an ambulance pulling up to the hospital..i hope the doctors are ok

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(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 10h

[james bond voice]

the name’s goose. silly goose.

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SeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 10h

I'm too tired to shop. I'm too tired to cook. I'm even too tired to drive to a drive-thru. I think eventually they'll just be a service where you sit on your porch and pay people to drive by in a golf cart shooting Big Macs down your throat with a t-shirt cannon.

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 10h

Common misperception. And it’s funny how we all misremember things (the phenomenon is formally known as “the Mandela effect”), but in actual fact Jeffrey Dahmer *wasn’t* black.

Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 11h

Possibly an unpopular opinion here, but I still think Barack Obama’s tan suit was worse than anything that’s happened during either Trump presidency.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 7d

Is there a non-sexy way to eat celery?

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 14h

While you’re bashing Christopher Columbus today, please try to be consistent and don't give other historical figures a free ride either:

Jeffrey Dahmer, for example, wasn't quite the loveable rogue that modern-day popular culture would have us believe.

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 1d

Last night I got drunk and took a lover.

So I guess this morning once I sober up, I’ll have to put him back.

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Ify Nwadiwe @ifycomedy.com · 2d

I think we really should stop using antifa and just fully say anti-fascist and get them saying they are against anti fascism. Using antifa is giving them some distance and I genuinely think some of their base don’t even know that’s what it stands for.

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T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 2d

ever danced with a kitten under the pale moon light

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 2d

All the jumping was 100% consensual.

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 2d

[Receiving Nobel Peace Prize]

Me: "I’m honored, Mr. Chairman.”

My Mom from the audience: "He wet the bed til he was 17!”

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 2d

I spent my 20s jumping into bed with every woman who took my fancy.

In hindsight, it might have been nice to have sex with one or two of them as well.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 6d

Remember, you have to be rich to be eccentric. If you're poor, you're just weird.

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Corky Kneivel @corkykneivel.bsky.social · 2d

This ad reads like a list of the 'Most Popular White Kid Names of 2025'

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2d

“The cat is such a perfect symbol of beauty and superiority that it seems scarcely possible for any true aesthete and civilised cynic to do other than worship it.”

- H.P. Lovecraft

A hand holding a dripping wet, bulging-eyed, flat-faced cat looking sadly at the camera.

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 2d

Who moved my avocado toast?!

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Preorder Read This When Things Fall Apart @mskellymhayes.bsky.social · 2d

They're talking about killing leftist activists. They're talking about murdering people organizing in defense of immigrant communities, doing mutual aid work, and protesting their violence. They are talking about murdering people like me and my friends. We must do more than acknowledge it's fascism.

Prem Thakker ツ @premthakker.bsky.social · 5d

My gosh. After the US bombed multiple boats in the middle of the ocean, murdering people on grounds that they were allegedly "carrying drugs," the US Attorney General says "Just like we did with cartels, we're going to take the same approach, President Trump, with Antifa."

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grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 2d

first half of October: ooooh pretty leaves

second half of October: wtf tree, you're just gonna leave your garbage all over my lawn??

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 2d

Fair enough. I guess 1933 would have been more appropriate

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RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · Oct 21

Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps.

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 2d

(also SCOTUS)

Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 2d

Sorry but I guess you hadn’t heard: they decided cyan wasn’t a color the same day they decided that Pluto wasn’t a planet.