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Von Hitchofen ™⍼☈♅ 🛩👹😬

@vonhitchofen.bsky.social

1.1K followers 590 following 5.1K posts

Another hard shift at the keyboard factory. From an obscure body in the S-K System Internet legend of the Ineffectual Dork Web I like aeroplanes and em dashes. Team Crap Dad.

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Von Hitchofen ™⍼☈♅ 🛩👹😬 @vonhitchofen.bsky.social · Feb 7

Doctors: we need to boost your confidence and find your inner happiness!

Depressed person: that would be great

Doctors: *prescribes drugs that lowers your libido and makes you fat*

Depressed person:

[sarcasm] OH THANKS IT'S VERY HELPFUL[/sarcasm]

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Andrew | TheSpoilist @thespoilist.bsky.social · 14h

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flere-imsaho 🇺🇦 @flere-imsaho.circumstances.run · 13h

“chatgpt, count how many strawberries are in the word ‘penis’?”

Matt Burgess (WIRED) @mattburgess1.bsky.social · 15h

Oh good, ChatGPT is getting "erotica for verified adults" later this year

We made ChatGPT pretty restrictive to make sure we were being careful with mental health issues. We realize this made it less useful/enjoyable to many users who had no mental health problems, but given the seriousness of the issue we wanted to get this right.

Now that we have been able to mitigate the serious mental health issues and have new tools, we are going to be able to safely relax the restrictions in most cases.

In a few weeks, we plan to put out a new version of ChatGPT that allows people to have a personality that behaves more like what people liked about 4o (we hope it will be better!). If you want your ChatGPT to respond in a very human-like way, or use a ton of emoji, or act like a friend, ChatGPT should do it (but only if you want it, not because we are usage-maxxing).

In December, as we roll out age-gating more fully and as part of our “treat adult users like adults” principle, we will allow even more, like erotica for verified adults.

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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 13h

I really just once a reporter would reply “oh are you gonna cry about it”

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 14h

Trump: "I don't take questions from ABC fake news after what you did with Stephanopoulos to the vice president of the United States."

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Birmingham 81 @birmingham81.bsky.social · 15h

Here's another clip to celebrate Cliff's 85th birthday. This one features him walking around Birmingham in his 1973 film Take Me High. Look out for brutalist landmarks like the Central Library (RIP), Alpha Tower and New Street Signal Box
youtu.be/yfvsVcKlLQs?...

Cliff Richard - Winning - Take Me High - 1973 - 4K - Stereo Retro Remix 2005 Remaster

YouTube video by Cliff, The Shadows | And Other Great Music

youtu.be

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Von Hitchofen ™⍼☈♅ 🛩👹😬 @vonhitchofen.bsky.social · 14h

@unavaleable.bsky.social
This looks VERY DV
youtube.com/watch?v=Zj7t...

Introducing the S-70UAS™ U-Hawk™

YouTube video by Lockheed Martin

m.youtube.com

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Adam Serwer @adamserwer.bsky.social · 16h

Free speech is when Republicans can say what they want and when you can say what they want. bsky.app/profile/noup...

Renee DiResta @noupside.bsky.social · 17h

I'm sorry, is the Trump Administration talking to a tech platform?

Is it...requesting content moderation?

Today following outreach from @thejusticedept, Facebook removed a large group page that was being used to dox and target @ICEgov agents in Chicago.
The wave of violence against ICE has been driven by online apps and social media campaigns designed to put ICE officers at risk just for doing their jobs. The Department of Justice will continue engaging tech companies to eliminate platforms where radicals can incite imminent violence against federal law enforcement.

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jeff com-BOO-ters @helldude.bsky.social · 15h

they actually called you a terrorist and hamas, which theyve put out orders to hunt down and eradicate. they expressly want to disenfranchise you even at your local government level. theyre sending "foreign" troops to your neighborhoods. they don't believe you deserve a say in who your dogcatcher is

James Hell Brooks @kleinman.bsky.social · 15h

Because liberals tend not to directly insult conservatives on account of their humane and inclusive worldview so right wingers have to look back further for insults to GOP voters. Meanwhile this weekend every major Republican congressman said I hate America.

Dave Weigel @daveweigel.bsky.social · 15h

I'm generalizing, but why do conservatives remember political irritations for so much longer than liberals?

It's been 17 years since Obama said some voters "cling to their guns, to their religion" and I heard a senator denounce that last month.

Obvious theory: Media ecosystem puts it on repeat

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George Takei @georgetakei.bsky.social · 17h

Yes, we indeed have a serious problem.

A tweet by Robert Reich reads:
“The 400 richest Americans are now worth a record $6.6 trillion. The entire bottom 50% of America is worth just $4.2 trillion. Read that back. When 400 people control more wealth than half a country’s population, we have a very serious problem.”

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National Atropian People’s Army Air Force @napaafofficial.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah, outside of the Zarqawi airstrike they were only really used for remote troop concentrations and training camps in GWOT. Meanwhile they were about all the IAF were dropping on Gaza for months straight

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☀️ Starshine @starshine.bsky.social · 1d

biden gave 14,000 mk84’s (the 2000lb bombs). almost all to possibly all of those were given in 2023. this is more than we dropped between 1999-2009 and slightly less than three times what we dropped against saddam in the first 6 weeks of OIF

By the time they were cut off (may, 2024) there was no

rev. howard arson @theophite.bsky.social · 1d

i do not have a lot of tolerance for people whining that Netanyahu fucked Biden over in order to get Trump in office so he could do whatever he wanted. yeah. he absolutely did that. that was obvious before 10/7.

there is no person on Earth more incompetent as a foreign policy thinker than Biden

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Timothy Snyder @timothysnyder.bsky.social · 1d

Carole Cadwalladr was right and we’d be in a better world if more people had listened.

Carole Cadwalladr @carolecadwalla.bsky.social · 16d

This tweet has been doing the rounds on Twitter now that Nathan Gill has pleaded guilty.

If only someone had tried to investigate UKIP & Russian interference 🧐

There’s another timeline where the Guardian supported me, doubled down on the investigation & I look 5 years younger ..

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Kate Devlin 🎃👻🍂 @drkatedevlin.bsky.social · 1d

My 15yo child, unexpectedly: “Yeah, I have at least 3 LinkedIn accounts. All fake. I use them to check on my teachers’ qualifications. I keep getting job offers because I ticked something that said I used to work in middle management for Asda.”

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 1d

starting a business called the Billionaire Bullying Bureau

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Von Hitchofen ™⍼☈♅ 🛩👹😬 @vonhitchofen.bsky.social · 1d

i can do afternoons and evenings

Von Hitchofen ™⍼☈♅ 🛩👹😬 @vonhitchofen.bsky.social · 1d

Have you been reading Melincourt?

MELINCOURT; OR, SIR ORAN
HAUT-TON. ILLUSTRATED BY
F.H. TOWNSEND. NOVEL BY:
THOMAS LOVE PEACOCK

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shawn @mulchy.bsky.social · 1d

seventeen people were arrested solely for resisting/obstructing a police officer.

for the resisting (not obstructing) part, per to illinois law, a person can only be arrested if there's "an underlying offense for which the person was initially subject to arrest."

www.ilga.gov/Documents/le...

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Wajahat Ali @wajali.bsky.social · 1d

What did Tom Homan do with the $50K he took in a CAVA bag from undercover FBI agents?

Just keep asking this everyday. Its a big scandal they can't escape because Pam Bondi and her DOJ killed the investigation. They're cornered on this and the Epstein Files.

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Von Hitchofen ™⍼☈♅ 🛩👹😬 @vonhitchofen.bsky.social · 1d

I've uttered loads of them.

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FOHF @fohf.bsky.social · 1d

We torture kids at school by making them read “classics” they have no context for, then wonder why they don’t read for pleasure.

Rachel Feder @rachelfeder.bsky.social · 1d

Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat

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OtakuNoCreepo 🎃 @wessoman.bsky.social · 1d

Putting Bari Weiss in charge of CBS News:

GIVING WEED TO THE PENGUIN WAS A REALLY STUPID FUCKING IDEA.
YOU LOST YOUR JOB AT THE AQUARIUM.

GAME OVER

INSERT COIN

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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 1d

Four decades wrongfully incarcerated isn’t punishment enough for these sadistic fucks.

Tricia McLaughlin
@TriciaOhio
·
1h
Burglary, carrying a firearm without a license, drug trafficking—break the law, you will face the consequences.

Having a single conviction vacated when you have a laundry list of criminal charges will not stop ICE’s enforcement of the federal immigration laws.

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Mark Copelovitch @mcopelov.bsky.social · 1d

👇🎯 Joe Biden, who was president during ceasefires in which 100 hostages were released, quite famously never received the same Leni Riefenstahl moment & grading-on-a-curve treatment from major media outlets in 2024. Whatever one thinks of him or Trump on this issue, this is massive goalpost shifting.

Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan.bsky.social · 1d

* Over 20,000 Palestinians killed since January
* 100s starved to death, including kids
* Congress bypassed to send more & more bombs to Israel
* US citizens murdered in the West Bank

I hope this ceasefire holds & I am glad the hostages are free, but this is Trump’s *actual record* so far.

Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social · 1d

Just in case the dramatically low Leni Riefenstahl-style angle was too subtle, they used a word from her most famous movie

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Mark Copelovitch @mcopelov.bsky.social · 1d

Quite famously, Joe Biden ended the forever war in 🇦🇫 that everyone said for years they wanted, & he did not receive his Leni Riefenstahl moment on front pages & magazine covers:

Mark Copelovitch @mcopelov.bsky.social · Aug 14

A reminder that Joe Biden destroyed his presidency by doing the thing everyone said for years that they wanted but really didn't.

bsky.app/profile/mcop...

Jonathan Bernstein @jonathanbernstein.bsky.social · Aug 14

Reminder that if Joe Biden hadn't acted the US would still have troops deployed in Afghanistan, taking casualties year after year after year.

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Greg Pak @gregpak.net · 1d

you cannot "abuse" your rights.

civil rights either are protected and real or they are not.

Dave Byrnes @djbyrnes1.bsky.social · 1d

Broadview Mayor Katrina Thompson's full statement, in which she says she will sign an EO permitting protest "only at the safety zone located at the ICE facility on Beach Street," is up on the village's website.

"There are too many protesters abusing their right to protest," Thompson says.

Image text:

Broadview Shrinks Protest Safety Zones

The following statement can be attributed to Village of Broadview Mayor Katrina Thompson:

“The protests at the ICE facility on Saturday night degenerated into chaos. There were 15 arrests, and 10 of those were around the age of my own daughter. As a mother and a mayor, I am mad. Broadview didn’t choose to have the ICE facility in our community. But it’s here. And so are Broadview residents. There are too many protesters abusing their right to protest. Too many are raising their fists rather than their voices, creating chaos at the expense of the people who call Broadview home. Broadview residents lack the protestors’ privilege to return to calm, quiet neighborhoods for undisturbed rest.

Therefore, I have issued a new executive order, in consultation with the Illinois State Police and Cook County Sheriff, that permits protests only at the safety zone located at the ICE facility on Beach Street.

There will no longer be a designated protest safety zone at 2000 South 25th Avenue between Lexington and Fillmore.

Additionally, it has been only God’s grace alone that a protester has not been struck and killed by a motorist on 25th Avenue given how frequently protesters dash onto this busy, four-lane street. This new
measure will provide for both the serenity of residents and safety of protestors.

As I have repeatedly said, I respect, support, and defend the protesters’ free and – peaceful – speech against the outrageous injustices and deplorable unprovoked chemical arms attacks by ICE agents against American citizens, journalists, and ministers that put Broadview police and firefighters in harms’ way.

Nevertheless, my first priority is to defend public safety and the residents who live here and people who work here. They deserve stability, safety, and respect, a quality of life that is currently being denied to them. They deserve the love and kindness that they expect by being Broadview residents.”

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Nat Guest @unfortunatalie.bsky.social · 1d

Why do we call it gaming addiction and not consoling ourselves

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