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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

@sofarrsogud.bsky.social

23K followers 600 following 3.8K posts

Some of my posts are crafted like a sculpture from a block of wood. Others are pumped out like farts. 🇮🇪 Some nonsense https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hd45ud24roeoli4qe7ot24e3/feed/aaaf7lua7l5cm

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · Jun 23

DATE: So what do you do?

ME: I race cars.

HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?

ME: No, the cars are much faster.

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 2h

*wiping away tear* that's beautiful

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 3h

[abruptly stops my nunchuck routine] I do.

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 9d

KITCHENWARE COMPANY BOSS: So, did you come up with a name for that revolving food tray, Susan?

SUSAN: No, couldn't be arsed.

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 15h

Please stop saying “I don’t know who needs to hear this.” No one does. This is the internet

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 16h

Just heard scampering noises between floors and I'm thrilled and terrified. What will it be? Will it fall through the ceiling into my lap? Will we be best friends or will I get rabies?

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 20h

Aaah Spirit Halloween, the hermit crab of businesses

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 21h

a man in a suit and tie drinking from a glass

ALT: a man in a suit and tie drinking from a glass

media.tenor.com

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 1d

Marriage is just seeing who can ignore the thing on the floor the longest before one of you finally picks it up.

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 1d

i get so mad when someone says “u should smile more” i mean the letter U is literally always smiling

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Robert Manchild @robertmanchild.com · 21h

COWORKER: can you get that to me by tomorrow

ME: [more furious than I’ve ever been] youbetcha

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 21h

Now that i'm 46, i understand why pirates kept parrots. It's to help them remember words.

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · Aug 22

Paramedic: keep applying pressure

Parenting Coach: but also say how proud you are

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 21h

I’ve been hearing a lot about self-medicating. Where do you guys get your leeches?

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Reposted by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF

Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 21h

if you don’t believe in intelligent design, then why do you think we have hands we can trace to quickly and easily draw a turkey? explain that, smartypants