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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 1d

sam altman is always making a face like he just woke up from general anesthesia and the surgeon is telling him that his Muppet Procedure was only partially successful

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The Onion @theonion.com · 1d

Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately https://theonion.com/nation-s-indigenous-people-confirm-they-don-t-need-spec-1839033177/

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No Stars @nostars.bsky.social · 2d

that guy that mortgaged his house and built one rope bridge in the woods

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 4d

🎶Whoa, Black Betty🎶

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 3d

Skeletons shouldn't play each other as instruments

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · Dec 11

TREBEK: According to the lyrics of rapper Lil Ten Five Lb Labey, your nose bridge will be snapping and your cranium will be cracking when you let her drop 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 bowling ball sized snack on your face.

CONTESTANT:

cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · Dec 11

let me preface this by saying I've had sex, and most of the people I've had sex with had pussies. what is a fifteen pound pussy.

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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · May 22

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good hyuck, babe! @markpopham.bsky.social · Jan 3

1960s MI6 AGENT: *holding tea kettle* shall I be mother?

MAFIA GUY THAT THE CIA GUY BROUGHT: what tha fuck

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rob @ok-but-still.bsky.social · 7d

jerry seinfeld on the phone: you're at lake MUNGO?!

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No Stars @nostars.bsky.social · 6d

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Conor Smith @conorsmith.ie · 9d

Gavin has shown himself unfit to be President. This is why we should let our current President take a third term, despite his age. Who cares what the constitution says.

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No Stars @nostars.bsky.social · 11d

he didn’t want to

No Stars @nostars.bsky.social · 11d

kendall roy is the rules

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No Stars @nostars.bsky.social · 12d

just remembered this don hughes classic

'In the Steps of Saint Peter' by Donald Hughes
Robot Pope
His brain is wires And all his friends
Are robot friars
Robot Pope
Electric priest
Instead of wine
He sips on grease

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No Stars @nostars.bsky.social · 12d

the real answer is definitely zone of interest but i’m a total ride or die for pacifiction

No Stars @nostars.bsky.social · 14d

why is orson welles so demanding of ka applegate. She did her best

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Don Hughes @donaldhughes.ca · 15d

I tried to drop out of this because of the war or whatever but my assistant Matthew said it's locked in. I'll be performing my controversial one-man show "You Have Been Warned" and donating 10% of the proceeds to Doctors Without Borders. Last thing I'll say about this.