Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Reposted by Danny Jones

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · Sep 3

Eating healthy is boring but it can extend your lifespan so basically there are no advantages

Reposted by Danny Jones

bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 5h

happy tenth anniversary to the mother’s food must be hot story, which immediately gave me severe brain damage upon reading www.jezebel.com/restaurant-c...

I was working in an upscale restaurant that specialized in fresh seafood. Check averages pushed $200 for two, so the tips were good. Now, I get that some people can't eat seafood; either they're allergic or they just hate it. Which is cool, but why the fuck would you come to a seafood house, then?
One night, I have one of these tables. They first bitch about all the fish. I'm crying inside but don't say anything as I point out sub-10 dollar items on the back of the menu that are not fish or fish-like. Took them 20 minutes to decide on some horrific cheese-covered thing that was apparently French or something. Whatever. Within 20 seconds, their order was being assembled.
Every 20 seconds, the man stretches his neck and starts looking for his waiter (which is me). Before he can turn the other direction...I'm there.
"Mother likes her food very hot," he says. He's already told me 4 times, so the 5th should really make me remember.

"Yes sir. Absolutely," I say or, something equally as ass-kissingly sweet. "Right out the saute pan," (lol, it was all pre-made and largely microwaved).
It was served in a special dish that sat inside a broiler so the food would be extra hot. The cook tops the French Gloop with a fistful of cheese and I watch it melt. I grab the dish with tongs and chuck it on the tray. Ten seconds later, it's in front of mother.
"Oh no... this simply is not hot enough," says
Pa.
I make some remark about re-doubling my efficiency. I then serve it three more times with the same result. "Oh...mother likes her food hot.
Mother likes hot food. Food....hot food...mother must have it," I had to endure every permutation.
The cook (who is also my stoner buddy) is at this point genuinely confused. "Dude... that shit will not get any hotter unless we flambee the fucker and you serve it on fire. Lucifer doesn't eat food that hot."

$At this point, I come up with a plan: we'll heat the serving dish until it's on the verge of melting (or fracture). The radiant heat alone would cook a steak to well-done in under a minute. We leave this dish under the broiler until it glows dull red. Half of the gloop burns away instantly so we add another bag. The cheese is the temp of lava and literally boiling. We add another fistful just in case. My fear is that when I place this in front of mother, the tablecloth will burst into flames. She's got a can's worth of hairspray on her blue-haired head, so she'll likely blow up as well. This would cost me money. (Editor's Note: Oh my God that sentence is every server l've ever known in a nutshell.) Finally, I place the dish in front of her like it's radioactive. Fuck, it probably is. And for the 4th time, I mention that the outer dish is very hot... do not touch the very hot outer dish. Of course, she grabs the dish with both hands. I can hear the skin sizzling. She can't pick it up though. Know why? BECAUSE SHE BURNED THE SKIN FROM HER FINGERS AND THUMBS! She's essentially pan-seared her hands and fingerprints with it. I'm waiting for her to start screaming, or maybe pass out into a bubbling cheese magma in front of her.$

She sweetly tells me it's "perfect" and dishes out half to Pa (yes, they split the entree). They seemed to enjoy the whatever-it-was, and each other's company. And neither seemed to mind the odor of human flesh that perfumed my station. I did manage to up-sell them dessert, which brought the check total to $30.00.
They left a pair of 20 dollar bills and told the manager I was a very nice young man.

3 21 150

Reposted by Danny Jones

Hell Ray-ser @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 1d

I was trying to find an old tweet about Hamlet and Ophelia. Google AI thought I was accusing it of killing my dad, and also screwed up the most famous line in The Princess Bride.

AI Overview

This phrase, "My father was also killed. by you," is famously from the movie The Princess Bride and is spoken by the character Inigo Montoya. It is a line used to express revenge and a lifelong quest for justice after a villain kills the hero's father. It is not a literal statement from a language model but a quote from a work of fiction, meaning Google did not kill your father.

33 71 470

Reposted by Danny Jones

Clara Jeffery @clarajeffery.bsky.social · 22h

These. Were. Men. In. Their. 30s.

www.motherjones.com/politics/202...

No one in the GOP Hitler chat was a "kid"

We checked. Sorry, JD Vance.

www.motherjones.com

170 1.6K 5.7K

Reposted by Danny Jones

Kenny Goblins @kennylogins.bsky.social · Apr 21

Scott Lynch
@scottlynch78
STEPHEN KING WRITING ABOUT
LIVING IN NEW ENGLAND: The old man who ran the town dump communed with darkness. He kept a Hand of Glory in a 1982 Boston Bruins mug. Crows and bats were his to command.

ME AFTER MOVING TO NEW ENGLAND: Jesus, I used to think Stephen King made shit up.
8:46 AM • Jan 29, 2020

2 100 580

Danny Jones @adeptusanxietus.bsky.social · 11h

It was actually made by Michael Owen

The Associated Press @apnews.com · 20h

Ah, rats! Researchers think they have debunked the origin of Chicago’s so-called “rat hole,” one of the Windy City’s weirdest local landmarks.

Ah, rats! Researchers say some other critter likely created Chicago's 'rat hole' sidewalk landmark

Ah, rats! Researchers have debunked the origin of Chicago's so-called “rat hole," concluding some other critter was likely responsible for creating the macabre sidewalk landmark.

bit.ly

2

Reposted by Danny Jones

Gabriel Morton @gabrielenguard.bsky.social · 18h

For big fans of rape trauma.

Wario64 @wario64.bsky.social · 19h

Silent Hill 2 Oshi Works Abstract Daddy Figure up for preorder at BBTS ($70.49) buff.ly/ODWaROu
$64.99 Kotobukiya buff.ly/5LreF0T

1 2 12

Reposted by Danny Jones

onion person @junlper.beer · 18h

ratlimit is a greatest of all time poster

36 630 6.5K

Reposted by Danny Jones

dillo (yakubian mamba) @dillo.media · 19h

eating pacman ass

The Athletic @theathletic.com · 21h

A perfect photo of Eugenio Suárez. No notes.

📸 Steph Chambers/Getty Images

5 18 130

Danny Jones @adeptusanxietus.bsky.social · 14h

That’s no silencer…

3

Reposted by Danny Jones

Sigrid Ellis @sigridellis.bsky.social · 21h

Quick cultural lecture time, from Sigrid Ellis:

As we are in Spooky Season, why do so many horror movies of the 80s and early 90s feature extremely creepy homeless people?

+

1 160 370

Reposted by Danny Jones

🐔 Brian Bucklew 🐔 ₑͤ＞∿＜ₑͤ ∞🌮 @unormal.bsky.social · 14h

i just make video games man you can just make them you dont have to get up on stage and say dumb shit instead of making a video game

Andy Robinson @andyrobinson.bsky.social · 17h

Dead Space and Call of Duty’s Glen Schofield says he’s been experimenting with generative AI for 2 years and believes it can help ‘fix’ the games industry.

“AI isn’t here to replace us, it’s here to make us better, faster, and more efficient,” he says. “It’s a tool”.

25 150 810

Reposted by Danny Jones

Oculus Imperia @oculusimperia.bsky.social · 23h

9 180 960

Danny Jones @adeptusanxietus.bsky.social · 1d

I’ll never say no to more recommendations :) Familiar Findings now downloading!

1 1

Danny Jones @adeptusanxietus.bsky.social · 1d

Fantastic quote, immediately want more of this character

JewelKnifeStress 🎃🎲🖌️🎮 (She/Her) @jewelknightjess.com · 1d

Oh baby I'm gonna have a mighty need aren't i
#WarhammerCommunity

Warhammer Quest Hero. A knight with a red cloak and big helmet with a golden manticore.

Reposted by Danny Jones

Bold Politics with Zack Polanski @boldpolitics.bsky.social · 5d

Solidarity with all trans and intersex people having their existence debated every time a tv host hasn't done their prep and can't think of any more questions

140 480 2.7K

Danny Jones @adeptusanxietus.bsky.social · 1d

Hell yeah 🤟

1 9

Danny Jones @adeptusanxietus.bsky.social · 1d

Never thought I’d join a political party, but I will be paying to join the Greens

@zackpolanski.bsky.social is fantastic

18 31 230

Reposted by Danny Jones

She Guevara @sheg7.bsky.social · 1d

They are working overtime on Zack because they are terrified of being out of jobs in a Britain that isnt divisive and politically illiterate.

Farrukh @implausibleblog.bsky.social · 1d

Carole Malone, "Youu can't say what women's rights are because you're not a woman"

Zack Polanski, "You're not trans are you. We can all say you're not that thing so you can't have an opinion" 🔥

"You can still have an opinion from listening to people"

3 27 220

Reposted by Danny Jones

ohfivepro.bsky.social @ohfivepro.bsky.social · 1d

We lost nothing but gained the phrase 'all my apes gone', so on balance I feel we're better off for their brief & idiotic existence

I paid £14 billion for this NFT image. Please don't steal it

5 22 99

Reposted by Danny Jones

mae'n ddrwg 'da fi @hollowdev.bsky.social · 1d

Someone actually willing to fight back, never thought I'd see the day in British politics

Farrukh @implausibleblog.bsky.social · 1d

Carole Malone, "Youu can't say what women's rights are because you're not a woman"

Zack Polanski, "You're not trans are you. We can all say you're not that thing so you can't have an opinion" 🔥

"You can still have an opinion from listening to people"