VeX
@vexdigest.bsky.social
Excerpts from the unwritten works. And cats.
Pinned
Reposted by VeX
[Werner Herzog voice] Mr. Potato Head is a monstrosity. More than a vegetable, yet less than human. With two feet, but no legs. His body parts interchangeable pieces. A grotesque plastic nightmare unworthy of love.
November 18, 2025 at 5:05 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] Mr. Potato Head is a monstrosity. More than a vegetable, yet less than human. With two feet, but no legs. His body parts interchangeable pieces. A grotesque plastic nightmare unworthy of love.
Reposted by VeX
When a clock ticks? You’re hearing math, my friend. And possibly space. I don’t know anything! Have a good day
November 14, 2025 at 8:01 PM
When a clock ticks? You’re hearing math, my friend. And possibly space. I don’t know anything! Have a good day
Do people still call each other "homeslice"?
November 12, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Do people still call each other "homeslice"?
Being haunted is a form of incorporeal punishment.
November 12, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Being haunted is a form of incorporeal punishment.
Reposted by VeX
As an empty husk I always enjoy seeing where I’ll end up whenever there’s a blustery wind
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 AM
As an empty husk I always enjoy seeing where I’ll end up whenever there’s a blustery wind
Reposted by VeX
Someone should try making an entire thanksgiving dinner with Baja blast in each dish.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
November 9, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Someone should try making an entire thanksgiving dinner with Baja blast in each dish.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
Turkey brined with it, baby onions boiled in it, gravy contains it, etc. just 100% overkill abomination.
Reposted by VeX
we live in a world ruled by invisible power worms
November 7, 2025 at 4:21 PM
we live in a world ruled by invisible power worms
There once was a man from Decatur
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
November 2, 2025 at 6:30 PM
There once was a man from Decatur
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
A known public masturbulator
He was arrested for jerkin
Before the first curtain
At the local pornographic the-atre
Just learned that the cute "bunny kicks" that cats do are actually used for ritual disembowelment.
November 1, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Just learned that the cute "bunny kicks" that cats do are actually used for ritual disembowelment.
Reposted by VeX
All the best geometricians are crows but an unwillingness by the academy to engage with their oral tradition prevents due recognition
November 1, 2025 at 5:52 PM
All the best geometricians are crows but an unwillingness by the academy to engage with their oral tradition prevents due recognition
Figured out my last minute Halloween costume. Got a bunch of tiny squares of mirror glass I'm going to hot-gluegun to my balls, then pull them out through the fly of my pants (I.e. the Arizona Belt Buckle). I'll be Mr. Disco Balls. That oughta scare the trick or treaters.
October 31, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Figured out my last minute Halloween costume. Got a bunch of tiny squares of mirror glass I'm going to hot-gluegun to my balls, then pull them out through the fly of my pants (I.e. the Arizona Belt Buckle). I'll be Mr. Disco Balls. That oughta scare the trick or treaters.
Reposted by VeX
I want to mash your monster
October 31, 2025 at 12:50 AM
I want to mash your monster
Just railing lines of domestic bliss
October 29, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Just railing lines of domestic bliss
I'm not one to send dick pics, but if I were, I'd accompany them with the message: "They say that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. But take a gander at THIS goose."
October 29, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I'm not one to send dick pics, but if I were, I'd accompany them with the message: "They say that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. But take a gander at THIS goose."
I have been found guilty of moral twerpitude.
October 28, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I have been found guilty of moral twerpitude.
Hey @pabstblueribbon.bsky.social , I tried your cannabis-infused seltzer. May I suggest a slogan? "High-in-a-can. Fuck, that's the shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon." I'm sure Dennis Hopper would be on board.
October 25, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Hey @pabstblueribbon.bsky.social , I tried your cannabis-infused seltzer. May I suggest a slogan? "High-in-a-can. Fuck, that's the shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon." I'm sure Dennis Hopper would be on board.
If I could go back in time and give younger me some advice, I wouldn't because I know he'd tell me to fuck right off.
October 25, 2025 at 7:21 PM
If I could go back in time and give younger me some advice, I wouldn't because I know he'd tell me to fuck right off.
Vocab unit in school. "Timmy, can you use the word 'cockade' in a sentence?"
"When life gives you the cock..."
"When life gives you the cock..."
October 23, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Vocab unit in school. "Timmy, can you use the word 'cockade' in a sentence?"
"When life gives you the cock..."
"When life gives you the cock..."
Reposted by VeX
Parents, please check your kids’ candy this Halloween. I’ve just found an ancient metal whistle with the inscription “QUIS EST ISTE QUI VENIT" inside a Snickers bar. I blew it and heard a note of infinite distance, and now I’m haunted by a figure in pale, fluttering draperies. Be safe.
October 22, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Parents, please check your kids’ candy this Halloween. I’ve just found an ancient metal whistle with the inscription “QUIS EST ISTE QUI VENIT" inside a Snickers bar. I blew it and heard a note of infinite distance, and now I’m haunted by a figure in pale, fluttering draperies. Be safe.
Reposted by VeX
Came home to another passive aggressive note from the neighbours stating that anyone found riding across the fields on a skinless horse and causing pestilence could face heavy fines from the council this year 🙄
October 22, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Came home to another passive aggressive note from the neighbours stating that anyone found riding across the fields on a skinless horse and causing pestilence could face heavy fines from the council this year 🙄
Starlog 2869: The Mother Ship has made contact with the Motherfucker Ship. Mounting process has been successfully initiated.
October 21, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Starlog 2869: The Mother Ship has made contact with the Motherfucker Ship. Mounting process has been successfully initiated.
Reposted by VeX
i am being pursued and terrorized by agents of the disney corporation
October 20, 2025 at 10:44 PM
i am being pursued and terrorized by agents of the disney corporation
Working on a statistical model to pinpoint exactly when a moustache stops being ironic.
October 21, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Working on a statistical model to pinpoint exactly when a moustache stops being ironic.
Reposted by VeX
Wow, that's really old.
October 18, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Wow, that's really old.