Ian King
@twoht.bsky.social
Podcaster, (association) football writer, copywriter, $ubstacker. Writer for Football League World, also seen on Fotmob, When Saturday Comes. Come on in, the takes are *toasty*. London-born, Sussex based. He/him.
https://unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
https://unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
The incredible thing about this is that a newspaper will have access to a photo site like Reuters, Getty, Alamy or whoever from which they could have sourced an actual, untouched that they could have used. It might even actually have taken them longer to create this garbage.
Tell me you’ve used AI to tweak an archive photo without telling me you’ve used AI to tweak an archive photo. Breeds musnuey, indeed.
November 25, 2025 at 11:32 AM
The incredible thing about this is that a newspaper will have access to a photo site like Reuters, Getty, Alamy or whoever from which they could have sourced an actual, untouched that they could have used. It might even actually have taken them longer to create this garbage.
Last night on UD. On Liverpool, and the subject that it feels is rather being avoided with regard to their start to this season.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
Liverpool, and the elephant in the room
Liverpool's start to the Premier League season may partly be explained by their summer transfer window, but it may also be ascribable to something else.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 25, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Last night on UD. On Liverpool, and the subject that it feels is rather being avoided with regard to their start to this season.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
Actually, peak Everton might be that this is the first time that they've beaten United at Old Trafford since 2013, which is the last time United were any good.
November 24, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Actually, peak Everton might be that this is the first time that they've beaten United at Old Trafford since 2013, which is the last time United were any good.
I think we can all agree that was the funniest outcome.
November 24, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I think we can all agree that was the funniest outcome.
Liverpool have had a perplexing start to the season, but there's one lens through which it does make sense, and it's the one that's probably most difficult of all.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
Liverpool, and the elephant in the room
Liverpool's start to the Premier League season may partly be explained by their summer transfer window, but it may also be ascribable to something else.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Liverpool have had a perplexing start to the season, but there's one lens through which it does make sense, and it's the one that's probably most difficult of all.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/liverpool-...
It's that time again! A preview of this afternoon's "Do We *Have* To?" Derby for @fotmob.com
www.fotmob.com/topnews/2405...
www.fotmob.com/topnews/2405...
Preview: The first North London Derby of the season
The North London rivals lock horns at The Emirates Stadium in the ‘Do We Have To?’ Derby on Sunday, as Arsenal seek to consolidate their position at the top of the Premier League.
www.fotmob.com
November 23, 2025 at 2:35 PM
It's that time again! A preview of this afternoon's "Do We *Have* To?" Derby for @fotmob.com
www.fotmob.com/topnews/2405...
www.fotmob.com/topnews/2405...
Bungaroosh, an outfield player in goal, and a feeling of a club that has lost its sense of direction. Your weekend match is here - Lewes vs Chatham Town in the Isthmian League Premier Division.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-weeken...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-weeken...
The Weekend Match: Lewes 0-2 Chatham Town - Down The Pan
Lewes FC had a strong identity not so long ago, but now it's difficult to avoid the feeling that something is going wrong at The Dripping Pan.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Bungaroosh, an outfield player in goal, and a feeling of a club that has lost its sense of direction. Your weekend match is here - Lewes vs Chatham Town in the Isthmian League Premier Division.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-weeken...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-weeken...
I've been writing about the Championship for work since May and it really is the most unfathomable of divisions.
A perplexing day for the locals.
Went to The Valley with my neighbour and ahead of kick-off, he proudly told me Charlton had lost just once at home this year.
We then watched Southampton score five goals in the first half.
Went to The Valley with my neighbour and ahead of kick-off, he proudly told me Charlton had lost just once at home this year.
We then watched Southampton score five goals in the first half.
November 22, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I've been writing about the Championship for work since May and it really is the most unfathomable of divisions.
Half time - Lewes 0-0 Chatham. Chatham had their goalkeeper sent off but they had a sub, the COWARDS.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
November 22, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Half time - Lewes 0-0 Chatham. Chatham had their goalkeeper sent off but they had a sub, the COWARDS.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
The Isles of Scilly Marketing Board knocking it out the park, here
November 22, 2025 at 12:28 PM
The Isles of Scilly Marketing Board knocking it out the park, here
Off to Lewes this afternoon, lads, to find out what sort of CRISIS is going on there at the moment. They're at home to Chatham Town. Also, I'm a little surprised by how many times I've been there but how little I've seen of the town itself.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
Words & Pictures to Follow: Lewes vs Chatham Town - Crisis? What Crisis?
Lewes have had their ups and downs over the years, and at the moment they seem to be in a bit of a trough. But to what extent is this a CRISIS?
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 9:49 AM
Off to Lewes this afternoon, lads, to find out what sort of CRISIS is going on there at the moment. They're at home to Chatham Town. Also, I'm a little surprised by how many times I've been there but how little I've seen of the town itself.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
You match on UD this week will be Lewes vs Chatham Town in the Isthmian League Premier Division. Preview later, full write up on Sunday.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
November 21, 2025 at 2:59 PM
You match on UD this week will be Lewes vs Chatham Town in the Isthmian League Premier Division. Preview later, full write up on Sunday.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
It's going some, but I've contrived to miss every wicket since I woke up because I was pottering around the house doing things. I'm switching it off now so that Australia are skittled out by 8.30.
November 21, 2025 at 8:10 AM
It's going some, but I've contrived to miss every wicket since I woke up because I was pottering around the house doing things. I'm switching it off now so that Australia are skittled out by 8.30.
Reposted by Ian King
This place is going to become known as "Penis Park" and there's nothing they can do about it
November 20, 2025 at 8:14 PM
This place is going to become known as "Penis Park" and there's nothing they can do about it
"HE'S A GREAT DAD! HE IS! HE'S DEFINITELY NOT A KET-AFFLICTED WEIRDO WHO JUST WANTS TO SPERMINATE AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE HE BELIEVES HIS APARTHEID-FUELLED GENES ARE SUPERIOR TO ANYONE ELSE'S! THAT'S THE TRUTH!"
November 20, 2025 at 11:56 AM
"HE'S A GREAT DAD! HE IS! HE'S DEFINITELY NOT A KET-AFFLICTED WEIRDO WHO JUST WANTS TO SPERMINATE AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE HE BELIEVES HIS APARTHEID-FUELLED GENES ARE SUPERIOR TO ANYONE ELSE'S! THAT'S THE TRUTH!"
This week's podcast is upon us, and as it was an international break weekend that means a readers' questions special!
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
The Football Kickback: The Fame, the Lifestyle, the Bicycle Kicks
It's been another international break weekend, so it's time for another readers' questions special.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 19, 2025 at 12:40 PM
This week's podcast is upon us, and as it was an international break weekend that means a readers' questions special!
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
Turkey having scored against Spain means that England are the only European team to qualify with a 100% record and without having conceded a goal.
November 18, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Turkey having scored against Spain means that England are the only European team to qualify with a 100% record and without having conceded a goal.
(Wales have also scored)
November 18, 2025 at 8:08 PM
(Wales have also scored)
The only Twitter screenshots I will accept
Wir brauchen den San Marino Fan Account auf bluesky!!! #ROUSMR
November 18, 2025 at 8:00 PM
The only Twitter screenshots I will accept
Learned it off Alf, he did
I just know Yoda can get freaky in bed
November 18, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Learned it off Alf, he did
Man, getting out of Old Trafford has been good fot Scott McTominay
November 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Man, getting out of Old Trafford has been good fot Scott McTominay
Still need questions for tonight's podcast :-)
Tonight, my babbies, tonight.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Recording a podcast tonight if you've got any questions? Any subject. We can do a silly one.
November 18, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Still need questions for tonight's podcast :-)
Personal rather than political, but I guess the thing is that I got through a divorce by maintaining this position, but the second time it happened it really did blow the hope out of me, just vaporised it. In many senses, that's really what has hurt me the most. A loss of hope that feels indelible.
I keep thinking about the Raymond Williams line: "To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair convincing".
Hope is not easy. Despair seems obvious. But every howl of despair manifests as further malignance. Compliance with fascism is despair metastasising.
Hope is not easy. Despair seems obvious. But every howl of despair manifests as further malignance. Compliance with fascism is despair metastasising.
November 18, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Personal rather than political, but I guess the thing is that I got through a divorce by maintaining this position, but the second time it happened it really did blow the hope out of me, just vaporised it. In many senses, that's really what has hurt me the most. A loss of hope that feels indelible.
I can confirm that one of the most satisfying things about the work I do at the moment is selecting photos of people I don't like which make them look like a twat or otherwise amuse me to use as a featured image.
whoever selected the photos for this article deserves an award for photo selection, this is peak photo selection, unsurpassable perfection, all other photo selector people can just get their coats and go home because this selection will never be bettered
Graham Linehan clashes with Father Ted star Ardal O’Hanlon over trans views
https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/11/18/graham-linehan-ardal-ohanlon-anti-trans-views/?utm_content=1763480405&utm_medium=social&utm_source=bluesky
https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/11/18/graham-linehan-ardal-ohanlon-anti-trans-views/?utm_content=1763480405&utm_medium=social&utm_source=bluesky
November 18, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I can confirm that one of the most satisfying things about the work I do at the moment is selecting photos of people I don't like which make them look like a twat or otherwise amuse me to use as a featured image.