Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
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theotrix.bsky.social
Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
@theotrix.bsky.social
940 followers 250 following 1.3K posts
Cat wrangler, creative gremlin, professional house snooper, tired. They/he 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
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theotrix.bsky.social
Three things I’ve learned tonight:

1. My estranged mother’s Apple Watch has me set as an emergency contact

2. Apple Watches can alert emergency contacts if they detect the elderly wearer taking a hard fall

3. As my brother put it, “Apple Watches think clapping is old people falling down”
November 20, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
awalrusdarkly.bsky.social
This is sick.

When I was a kid we didn't need to ask a robot where to find the knives, the search was part of the fun.
November 20, 2025 at 5:55 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
Twin Cities folks: check out Fare For All for good cheap groceries! They rotate through different locations, selling packs of assorted produce and meat for $10-25 (monthly pack menu on website). Show up, buy food, and your $ will help them feed more people!
www.thefoodgroupmn.org/groceries/fa...
Fare For All - The Food Group
Fare For All is a pop-up grocery store. We sell packs of fresh produce and frozen meat at up to 40% off of retail prices. Who Can Shop? Everyone and anyone can shop at Fare For All across 20 pop up si...
www.thefoodgroupmn.org
October 29, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
elierlick.bsky.social
A portion of every dollar spent on Harry Potter merchandise goes to anti-transgender campaigns.
October 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
theotrix.bsky.social
Zelda 💛🧡🤍

(This is probably the best digital painting I’ve ever done)
A digital painting of my little calico cat Zelda crouched on the porch floor with a sunbeam at her back. The floorboards beneath her are painted the warm shades of the rainbow in a yellow to orange gradient, and the magenta wall behind her is mostly in shadow. Her face is in shadow, but the sun catches her whiskers, and color from the painted floor reflects in her eyes and illuminates the soft edges of her face. This painting took at least 20 hours across a few weeks.
October 27, 2025 at 12:58 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
Eggs are so much fun to paint! There’s no true white in egg whites—they’re translucent, shiny, and bubbly, so they collect all the colors around them 🥚🌈
A digital painting of two sunny side up eggs cooking in a frying pan. Their edges are just starting to brown in the butter that bubbles around them, but the whites are still a little bit liquidy right around the yolks—almost ready. Two different friends I showed this to said it made them hungry, so I think it was successful! This took 8 to 10 hours to paint.
October 27, 2025 at 12:47 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
Digital painting of my bedroom window at 5am. I’m calling this one “Shit, not again.”
A digital painting of my bedroom window during sunrise. Tree branches hang outside, where sunlight peeks between the top of the neighbor’s roof and the bottom edge of my own roof. Inside, the bedroom is dark except for that peek of sunlight, which makes a stripe of peachy pink and yellow through the thin, pulled back curtains. An air conditioner in the left window hums away, its temperature display glowing “75” in the dark, and old t-shirt stuffed into the gap between window panes to keep the cold from escaping. This painting took around 15 hours.
October 27, 2025 at 12:30 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
Digital painting used to intimidate me, but recently something clicked. I’ve been working through photos in my art refs folder that have tricky elements like glowing, low light, and clouds, and practicing.
A digital painting of my hand holding up a translucent yellow coaster. It’s lit from behind, and the coaster is catching the sun and glowing with warm colors while the rest of the image is mostly shadowed. This was my first try at glowy lighting in a digital painting, and it took a few hours across multiple sittings. A digital painting of a golden pillar candle burning in the dark. This took an hour or two. A digital landscape painting of a Menards parking lot at twilight. Most of the painting is a sky with stripes of fluffy clouds, and the very bottom is taken up by the low, shadowed shapes of commercial buildings, parking lot lamp posts, and utility poles with wires strung between them. This one took about 8 hours. A quick, sketchy digital painting of my fluffy cat Toby poking his nose over a pile of blankets, ears perked up light he’s just been offered snacks. The lighting is soft sunlight that makes the edges of objects look fuzzy
October 27, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
ryanmarino.bsky.social
@thecomplexrebel (on Threads) Good morning to everyone but the people who think cutting SNAP saves money. Every $1 in SNAP creates up to $1.80 in local economic activity. When families can't buy groceries, your grocery store loses customers, your town loses jobs, and your economy LOSES. SNAP feeds everyone.
October 26, 2025 at 10:12 PM
theotrix.bsky.social
Toby has invented a game called Yurt Thrash, where he stuffs his front half into a cat tent that’s way too small for him and thrashes around like he’s killing it from within. Yurt Thrash is his favorite game and only accepted mode of exercise.
A very large fluffy cat named October Von Spoopypants lying on the floor with his head and front legs inside a half collapsed rainbow cat tent. He’s peering out one of the tent windows, in between thrashings, his pupils wide.
October 16, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
naomikritzer.bsky.social
This story is a DELIGHT.
marissalingen.bsky.social Marissa Lingen @marissalingen.bsky.social · Oct 8
Back from my family trip to tell you that I have a new story in @kaleidotrope.bsky.social ! "What a Big Heart You Have" is my tender tribute to Grandma and Aunt Ellen, though the characters aren't literally them. kaleidotrope.net/autumn-2025/...
“What a Big Heart You Have” by Marissa Lingen
kaleidotrope.net
October 8, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
denniskeim.bsky.social
Energy note. Inch by inch.

"The world’s wind and solar farms have generated more electricity than coal plants for the first time this year, marking a turning point for the global power system, according to research."

www.theguardian.com/environment/...
Global renewable energy generation surpasses coal for first time
Record solar expansion and steady wind growth driving world’s shift away from fossil fuels in 2025, report finds
www.theguardian.com
October 8, 2025 at 6:54 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
A year in, our front porch rainbow is holding up surprisingly well considering I never got around to sealing it. Still really proud of this!
The rainbow on my porch floor, freshly cleaned, with Chad the cat loping across it. Colors are still bright! View of the same rainbow floor facing the front porch door. It has a few nicks and scuffs but is overall shockingly close to the condition it was in when first painted
October 7, 2025 at 12:50 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
One time when I was 7 I bit myself and blamed it on my brother
theotrix.bsky.social Theo Lorenz (theonicole) @theotrix.bsky.social · Oct 3
What fresh fuckery is this
A screenshot of the ADA website, with a banner at the top that reads “Democrats have shut down the government. Department of Justice websites are not currently regularly updated.”
October 3, 2025 at 2:05 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
What fresh fuckery is this
A screenshot of the ADA website, with a banner at the top that reads “Democrats have shut down the government. Department of Justice websites are not currently regularly updated.”
October 3, 2025 at 12:35 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
I can't stop thinking about this mansion on Lake Harriet that belonged to a modern art collector. This is the front and back of THE SAME BUILDING.
The front facade of a classic Spanish Revival mansion, which features tall arched windows placed with careful symmetry, balconies with black metal railings, and a terracotta tile roof. The completely bonkers back of said mansion, which is a glorious explosion of 1980s postmodern architecture. It features a dramatic zigzag of triangular columns of windows jutting out the back, a rounded corner with stripes, an enormous angled skylight up top, more balconies, and a side entrance made up of strange shapes that sort of looks like a goose head.
September 27, 2025 at 7:32 PM
theotrix.bsky.social
It’s so warm in my office, and yet…
The view over my shoulder as I’m working from a comfy chair: a small calico cat named Zelda is curled up in a tangle of limbs behind my left shoulder, her back foot and forehead against the back of my neck. She’s purring and gazing at the camera. Why is she so cute when it’s so warm?
August 19, 2025 at 10:18 PM
theotrix.bsky.social
Any Minneapolis folks looking for a large home or mixed-use/office space? My latest listing is a home I've literally dreamt about--HUGE 6 bed/3 bath/2 car home with flexible zoning, just off Lake Street.

matrix.commondataplatform.com/matrix/share...
An exterior shot of 3011 17th Ave S, a large 2-story stucco house with a navy blue fence. Its neighbors to the sides are another house and a block of Lake Street businesses. A shot of the expansive living and dining rooms, which include a brick fireplace, original woodwork, built-in bookshelves and pillars, and a built-in buffet in the dining room. There isn't any real estate photography trickery here--the living room alone is 20 feet by 14 feet. The bright and sunny kitchen, which was fully renovated in 2018 for the family that lived here. It has light gray cabinets, white quartz countertops, stainless steel appliances, and heated tile floors. Not pictured is the adjacent walk-in pantry. This kitchen taunts me in my dreams. It's such a great space for cooking together!! One of three spacious bedrooms upstairs, all of which have walk-in closets, great natural light, and hardwood floors. There are two more bedrooms on the main floor and one bedroom in the basement with a massive closet that used to be the original coal chute.
August 19, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
comraderobot.bsky.social
okay. yeah, “labubu.” i hear you. but listen: i am 40 years old and if i have to learn about another thing i will die
July 8, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
captainacab.airbud.website
i hope this email doesn’t find you at all. i hope you got out. i hope you’re free
August 14, 2025 at 12:25 PM
theotrix.bsky.social
I cannot with this creature and her complete disregard for physics
A small dilute calico cat named Zelda folded up in incomprehensible ways between my side and the arm of the chair I’m in. Her knee is pressed against her cheek and folded over her front leg, her other back leg appears to be sticking out backwards underneath her, and her face is smooshed against my side so hard that her eyes are mostly shut. She looks like a badly drawn picture of a cat. She is purring. Moments later, Zelda had rolled herself into an upside down pillbug pose and is staring wide-eyed up at the camera with all four limbs in the air and her tail curled up her belly. She is perfectly content and purring.
July 26, 2025 at 9:02 PM
theotrix.bsky.social
I was prepared to have a middle schooler, but not to have partial custody of a trombone. Why trombone. Why is it in my living room barking at me.
July 22, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Reposted by Theo Lorenz (theonicole)
theonion.com
Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work
theonion.com/relaxin...
Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work
July 14, 2025 at 2:00 PM
theotrix.bsky.social
We had my dad’s much-belated memorial service today, and I got a room full of people to repeat in unison the comforting affirmations my dad told us every night as kids. I didn’t really understand how lucky we were to grow up with “Those Things” until now.
A page from my dad’s memorial program, featuring an old photo of Dad with my grandma and uncle. It reads: Those Things A simple reminder to loved ones, which Jim shared nightly with his children. You are special You are precious You are important And you are lovable I love you And I will always love you I will always take care of you And I will teach you how to take care of yourself. Thank you, Jimmy
July 13, 2025 at 4:12 AM
theotrix.bsky.social
I’m rearranging my office. Chad is helping.
The floor of my office, where a colorful rug lies partially unrolled. Chad the tuxedo cat has shoved himself head-first into the rug roll with only his butt and back foot sticking out.
June 23, 2025 at 9:26 PM