Stan Byerman
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stanbyerman.bsky.social
Stan Byerman
@stanbyerman.bsky.social
Beloved country crooner. Tell your grandma I said hello. She's got my number.
Pinned
You don't understand. A Sunday paper was a thing to behold. The size of a couch cushion, delivered by a man in a rusty van and his three children, each carrying a corner. The kitchen table would groan under the weight of the ad circulars alone. The pages would unfurl like sails.
I wish I loved anything as much as the previous owner of this cookbook loved boiled pudding
November 15, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Microsoft: "Let's spend $600 gazillion on AI!"
How about you spend $500 to fix spell check in Word?
November 10, 2025 at 2:06 PM
One of my Grandmothers was born in Poland and lived in Detroit, the other was born in a log cabin in Kentucky and lived on an Illinois farm. They got along just fine and enjoyed each other's company. That's all.
November 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
In my teens and into my 20s I kept an internal narrative of my daily life, like I was the protagonist of a sitcom. Eventually this narration stopped, I guess the narcissism of youth does not survive adulthood. Or maybe the audience got bored and changed channels.
October 30, 2025 at 11:29 AM
The phone smelled of hairspray and shaving cream, its numbers scratched off by millions of spins by press-on nails. A list of numbers tacked to the wall, the exotic ones had area codes, the dead were crossed off. If its cord could be untangled no one knew how far it would stretch.
October 30, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Still pushing and pulling. Still no monkey chow.
Can someone please explain to me how the economy works? I've been pushing all the buttons and pulling all the levers but no monkey chow comes out
October 28, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Like a post-nuclear survivor eating canned dog food in a basement: "I don't care if the rest of the Internet is down, I've still got Giant Minesweeper!"
October 20, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
The audible excitement from the other end of the building can only mean.... A DOG IS IN THE OFFICE!!!!
January 13, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
all books should have maps in them, no exceptions.
October 13, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
My grandma used to drink this tea when I was a little boy, so I associated it with ancient times, like horse-drawn carriages. Tried it recently. Pretty good. Kind of a proto-chai, or spiced Earl Grey. Or maybe I'm just approaching the age Babcia was when I knew her.
October 11, 2025 at 12:19 PM
My grandma used to drink this tea when I was a little boy, so I associated it with ancient times, like horse-drawn carriages. Tried it recently. Pretty good. Kind of a proto-chai, or spiced Earl Grey. Or maybe I'm just approaching the age Babcia was when I knew her.
October 11, 2025 at 12:19 PM
Can someone please explain to me how the economy works? I've been pushing all the buttons and pulling all the levers but no monkey chow comes out
October 7, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Low budget male exotic dancer
September 10, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Thinking about a new avi.
"Assume the Wurst".
An anthropomorphic sausage who make double entendres.
Yes or no?
September 3, 2025 at 11:33 AM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
follow for more recipes
September 1, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
The trendiest of all venereal diseases is pickleball.
August 3, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Just finished a shift at a high school football concession stand, where I served every age, race, gender, and economic class. We humans are united in our love of blue freeze pops and our inability to make change.
August 30, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Appears smoking is one of the underlying health conditions that will allow you to get a covid vax under new CDC guidelines. I don't smoke, but I guess I'll start. Any cigarette brand recommendations?
August 27, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
lord I hope so.
August 26, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
Can't even build death star anymore, because of ewok
August 26, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
What do YOU think? Sound off in the comments!
August 23, 2025 at 10:02 AM
I was pronouncing "lickety-split" as "liquidy-spit" to be funny. Turns out no one under 70 has ever heard the term lickety-split, so everyone thought I was just being strange
August 23, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Reposted by Stan Byerman
Person looking at my phone: uh you have 37 voicemails
me: (touching their face tenderly) and they are all from Walgreens
August 11, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I'm up to ABBA now. Hmmm.... they sang 'Xanadu' and roller skated a lot? Or am I thinking of that Andrew Lloyd Webber play? The Starburst Express? I know they won the Eurovision thing. I'll just leave it at that.
I'm writing an alternate to Wikipedia, starting at the beginning. Anybody know if an aardvark is the same thing as an armadillo? I'm just going to say yes.
August 14, 2025 at 7:17 PM
If my 16yo ever writes my biography its title would undoubtedly be "My Father, The Cheapskate"
August 10, 2025 at 2:05 AM