Jack Hanford the Manford
@simplyjack.bsky.social
Your favorite pervert’s favorite parole officer
Pinned
Heavy hangs the head that shits the posts
TIL that will stancil makes less than $136,500 per year
Man, gotta love some Wall Street guy who decides It’s Time To Care About Poverty and uses vibe math to recalculate the poverty line, as… $136,500
Extreme “it’s one banana, Michael” energy
Extreme “it’s one banana, Michael” energy
November 24, 2025 at 7:20 PM
TIL that will stancil makes less than $136,500 per year
The solemn promise of liberalism is a question it consistently answers in the negative
“do we protect, include, and tolerate people from all backgrounds” is the beating heart and solemn promise of liberalism and I’m convinced people who trivialize it have not reflected on a world without it
November 23, 2025 at 11:23 PM
The solemn promise of liberalism is a question it consistently answers in the negative
Failed writer
November 23, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Failed writer
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
Is that bad?
A senior ICE official just admitted in an evidentiary hearing in Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s case that someone else drafted his declaration in the case and he didn’t know what certain words meant.
November 20, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Is that bad?
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
November 17, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
November 17, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
Oh yeah? You invent guys to be mad at?
Well I invent guys to be mad at me
Well I invent guys to be mad at me
November 11, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Oh yeah? You invent guys to be mad at?
Well I invent guys to be mad at me
Well I invent guys to be mad at me
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
Rest now sister. We have the kente. I'll see you in Wakanda.
November 6, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Rest now sister. We have the kente. I'll see you in Wakanda.
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
Defense is now questioning Lairmore on cross-examination. They show a video still of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground, post-throw.
"Do you recognize that sandwich?" the attorney asks.
Lairmore won't confirm.
"I did not go back to collect it," he says.
"Do you recognize that sandwich?" the attorney asks.
Lairmore won't confirm.
"I did not go back to collect it," he says.
November 4, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Defense is now questioning Lairmore on cross-examination. They show a video still of the sandwich and wrapper on the ground, post-throw.
"Do you recognize that sandwich?" the attorney asks.
Lairmore won't confirm.
"I did not go back to collect it," he says.
"Do you recognize that sandwich?" the attorney asks.
Lairmore won't confirm.
"I did not go back to collect it," he says.
An edict from the king of law twitter
ive been saying this for years but the last thing i need is to hear more points of fucking view. points of view is how we got into this fucking mess. we need like a 99% reduction in points of fucking view. oh you've got an opinion about stuff do you? stick it up your ass dingus
November 3, 2025 at 7:51 PM
An edict from the king of law twitter
Farts of darkness
Owner of a Tell-Tale Fart
Edgar Allan Poe’s The Tell-Tale Fart
October 29, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Farts of darkness
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
had to put this one together from the archives but: called it again
October 23, 2025 at 3:07 AM
had to put this one together from the archives but: called it again
Man you would’ve been better off with a tattoo of Bart simpsons ass
October 22, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Man you would’ve been better off with a tattoo of Bart simpsons ass
Nods sagely
October 20, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Nods sagely
Top minds hard at work
October 19, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Top minds hard at work
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
Taxidermy is fatphobia but we're not ready for that conversation.
October 18, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Taxidermy is fatphobia but we're not ready for that conversation.
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
Where are all my #smokefleet homies at?
October 17, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Where are all my #smokefleet homies at?
Reposted by Jack Hanford the Manford
The whole reason he has the job is because he’s so incapable of exerting any kind of political influence that nobody felt threatened by him.
Why Johnson is burning so much capital to hold yardage that will inevitably be lost and making this a bigger and bigger story is beyond me.
Q: Jeffries said to expect swift legal action if Adelita Grijalva isn't sworn in today. Your reaction?
MIKE JOHNSON: It's a publicity stunt by a Democratic AG who sees a national moment and wants to call me out
MIKE JOHNSON: It's a publicity stunt by a Democratic AG who sees a national moment and wants to call me out
October 17, 2025 at 3:25 PM
The whole reason he has the job is because he’s so incapable of exerting any kind of political influence that nobody felt threatened by him.
Idk man I think it seems pretty great
October 17, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Idk man I think it seems pretty great