Oliver Perks
@oliver4realz.bsky.social
Amateur novelist and ttrpg enthusiast.
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Using a VPN to do something as simple as pirate a show that isn’t available in your region meanwhile richest man on the planet was just sending emails like “Hey man when’s the next trip to Pedo Island, let me know when things are the most Pedo, so I can come to Pedo Island.
January 31, 2026 at 4:59 AM
Using a VPN to do something as simple as pirate a show that isn’t available in your region meanwhile richest man on the planet was just sending emails like “Hey man when’s the next trip to Pedo Island, let me know when things are the most Pedo, so I can come to Pedo Island.
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Fellow writers: I am deeply saddened to share that if we want the rewards of having written, we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of writing
January 29, 2026 at 11:26 PM
Fellow writers: I am deeply saddened to share that if we want the rewards of having written, we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of writing
Wonder if there's ever been a neurological study in what causes typos, because for some reason I just tried to spell "rocks" with a silent "w"
January 27, 2026 at 5:04 PM
Wonder if there's ever been a neurological study in what causes typos, because for some reason I just tried to spell "rocks" with a silent "w"
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Oliver Perks
January 21, 2026 at 3:58 PM
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Reposted by Oliver Perks
this is literally the plot of Don Quixote
January 13, 2026 at 5:25 PM
this is literally the plot of Don Quixote
Reposted by Oliver Perks
January 11, 2026 at 5:44 PM
Reposted by Oliver Perks
A touching tribute to Mike F
![Classic Mike F tweet:
Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:g62tajye723r3fa4gqw7l7ql/bafkreiacssf7vnpkyqovhna4mfme3qexnhqifch625ta46ibfzgpswz6ue@jpeg)
January 7, 2026 at 2:40 AM
A touching tribute to Mike F
Reposted by Oliver Perks
i was the only home whose cable didn’t go out when the sopranos finale aired and it showed tony looking up and seeing two guys walk into the restaurant holding hands. then it cut back to tony shrugging, which you have to understand in 2007 was a very powerful statement
January 6, 2026 at 11:10 PM
i was the only home whose cable didn’t go out when the sopranos finale aired and it showed tony looking up and seeing two guys walk into the restaurant holding hands. then it cut back to tony shrugging, which you have to understand in 2007 was a very powerful statement
Reposted by Oliver Perks
all this is both foolish and unnecessary
January 4, 2026 at 9:47 PM
all this is both foolish and unnecessary
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago
January 4, 2026 at 6:49 PM
Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Reposted by Oliver Perks
so before we got better ways to chemically synthesize estradiol, we used estrogen extracted from the urine of pregnant horses. everyone knows this. famous drug "premarin" stood for PREgnant MARe urINe. this isn't news. my question is, how did this go down in the umamusume universe
January 1, 2026 at 6:46 PM
so before we got better ways to chemically synthesize estradiol, we used estrogen extracted from the urine of pregnant horses. everyone knows this. famous drug "premarin" stood for PREgnant MARe urINe. this isn't news. my question is, how did this go down in the umamusume universe
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here
December 26, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here
Reposted by Oliver Perks
SELL IT TO WHO, BEN?? FUCKING PUMAMAN??
December 26, 2025 at 9:12 PM
SELL IT TO WHO, BEN?? FUCKING PUMAMAN??
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken https://theonion.com/heroic-dog-saves-family-of-5-from-herb-roasted-chicken/
December 26, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken https://theonion.com/heroic-dog-saves-family-of-5-from-herb-roasted-chicken/
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Some memes are eternal.
December 25, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Some memes are eternal.
Reposted by Oliver Perks
Reposted by Oliver Perks
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, it's New Bird Day!!
*walking in a winter wonderland*
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
ME: where's bluebird?
BIRD: gone
ME: w... who are you?
*bird looks around shiftily*
BIRD: I'm new bird
December 16, 2025 at 1:21 PM
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, it's New Bird Day!!
Reposted by Oliver Perks
love this story. also "Epic Mickey" translates to "Giant Penis" for any Irish person. thought I should mention that.
I remember doing the deal for Epic Mickey, and Bob Iger shooting laser beams out his eyes at me in the Disney dining room. “Don’t let this video game fuck up Mickey.”
Oh well. That’s over.
Oh well. That’s over.
BREAKING: Disney is making a $1 billion investment in OpenAI, and will allow its iconic characters to be on the company's Sora AI video generator.
December 12, 2025 at 10:25 PM
love this story. also "Epic Mickey" translates to "Giant Penis" for any Irish person. thought I should mention that.
Reposted by Oliver Perks
'Let it Snow' with all the positive lines removed
December 11, 2025 at 9:33 PM
'Let it Snow' with all the positive lines removed
Reposted by Oliver Perks
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE