Osteopath has banned me from running because of my bursitis
a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a microphone .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a microphone .
media.tenor.com
November 30, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Osteopath has banned me from running because of my bursitis
Reposted by Helen
I just don't need to know what the Telegraph has written about Dungeons & Dragons. It's a newspaper for people who are frightened of samosas.
November 30, 2025 at 12:15 PM
I just don't need to know what the Telegraph has written about Dungeons & Dragons. It's a newspaper for people who are frightened of samosas.
Had to unfollow that mr nice guy account because the funniness of the posts is outweighed by the constant reposting of previous posts and quoting replies they don’t like so they can argue publicly. None of this means anything, it’s just little lights on your screen, our species did the renaissance
November 30, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Had to unfollow that mr nice guy account because the funniness of the posts is outweighed by the constant reposting of previous posts and quoting replies they don’t like so they can argue publicly. None of this means anything, it’s just little lights on your screen, our species did the renaissance
“Nice crater detail, nerd” would be a sick insult to throw at someone who is insecure about their skin texture. I would never say it though because I am sexy and kind. Wouldn’t dream of it, actually.
Roughly 60% illuminated waxing gibbous phase moon tonight. Nice crater detail, best near the shadow line. Seen from San Diego north county. 🌓
Full Cold moon is on December 4th.
Full Cold moon is on December 4th.
November 29, 2025 at 8:25 PM
“Nice crater detail, nerd” would be a sick insult to throw at someone who is insecure about their skin texture. I would never say it though because I am sexy and kind. Wouldn’t dream of it, actually.
You could kiss him so much, can you imagine?
November 29, 2025 at 3:40 PM
You could kiss him so much, can you imagine?
Reposted by Helen
is a fetus naked or is its mom clothes
Jesus was never naked, don't say stuff like that
November 29, 2025 at 9:28 AM
is a fetus naked or is its mom clothes
I enjoyed Wake Up Dead Man but it had lots of church stuff which always inexplicably makes me emotional and sad, presumably linked to funerals and being catholic, and while it took my out of my sort of anxiety attack for a few hours I’m now safely back in it so ha ha ha
November 28, 2025 at 11:16 PM
I enjoyed Wake Up Dead Man but it had lots of church stuff which always inexplicably makes me emotional and sad, presumably linked to funerals and being catholic, and while it took my out of my sort of anxiety attack for a few hours I’m now safely back in it so ha ha ha
“I’ve just never heard anyone in a pencil skirt call someone ‘bruv’” well sorry for living my most authentic life while also remaining shackled to a professional role against my better judgement
November 28, 2025 at 1:58 PM
“I’ve just never heard anyone in a pencil skirt call someone ‘bruv’” well sorry for living my most authentic life while also remaining shackled to a professional role against my better judgement
Reposted by Helen
Reposted by Helen
“No,” said Frog.
November 28, 2025 at 8:37 AM
“No,” said Frog.
Reposted by Helen
Correct. This is the female gaze.
July 19, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Correct. This is the female gaze.
It’s true this happened to me
He's coming to kill you because you're a Christian
November 27, 2025 at 6:59 PM
It’s true this happened to me
Reposted by Helen
Sunday is 5 years since I adopted the most ridiculous wobbly little man the world has ever seen.
I think you know what has to happen. It's gonna be ✨ SMOL PAUL DAY ✨
I think you know what has to happen. It's gonna be ✨ SMOL PAUL DAY ✨
November 27, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Sunday is 5 years since I adopted the most ridiculous wobbly little man the world has ever seen.
I think you know what has to happen. It's gonna be ✨ SMOL PAUL DAY ✨
I think you know what has to happen. It's gonna be ✨ SMOL PAUL DAY ✨
Reposted by Helen
[blind date]
WOMAN: When I saw your photo I assumed you would be the man *holding* the fish.
FISH: [flipping and flopping about on the table] Can we talk about this later.
WOMAN: When I saw your photo I assumed you would be the man *holding* the fish.
FISH: [flipping and flopping about on the table] Can we talk about this later.
November 27, 2025 at 10:47 AM
[blind date]
WOMAN: When I saw your photo I assumed you would be the man *holding* the fish.
FISH: [flipping and flopping about on the table] Can we talk about this later.
WOMAN: When I saw your photo I assumed you would be the man *holding* the fish.
FISH: [flipping and flopping about on the table] Can we talk about this later.
Just managed to pull off the “sorry can I just stop you there” without anything to follow it up, just to stop this woman from talking to me, feels great
November 27, 2025 at 9:19 AM
Just managed to pull off the “sorry can I just stop you there” without anything to follow it up, just to stop this woman from talking to me, feels great
Reposted by Helen
Every version of this story is some version of ‘well you couldn’t expect me to be able to afford to buy the house I currently own’ and yes that is the point welcome to the housing crisis.
‘I don’t live in a mansion. It’s a 1930s house’: Richmond residents react to council tax rise
‘I don’t live in a mansion. It’s a 1930s house’: Richmond residents react to council tax rise
Rachel Reeves’s new council tax surcharge on homes worth £2m or more earns mixed reception in well-heeled London borough
www.theguardian.com
November 27, 2025 at 8:09 AM
Every version of this story is some version of ‘well you couldn’t expect me to be able to afford to buy the house I currently own’ and yes that is the point welcome to the housing crisis.
This is what a selfie of Pringles would look like
November 26, 2025 at 12:37 PM
This is what a selfie of Pringles would look like
Reposted by Helen
Rod Stewart. Weird haircut raspy little elf man. But he's horny as all get out and it kind of works. Like if you walked in on him jacking off while flicking his tongue you wouldn't be surprised you'd just be like yeah thats about right. Not sure what this post was going to be about originally
November 26, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Rod Stewart. Weird haircut raspy little elf man. But he's horny as all get out and it kind of works. Like if you walked in on him jacking off while flicking his tongue you wouldn't be surprised you'd just be like yeah thats about right. Not sure what this post was going to be about originally
Me trying to join in your conversations about the silver screen but not entirely sure what you’re talking about
November 26, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Me trying to join in your conversations about the silver screen but not entirely sure what you’re talking about
Reposted by Helen
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
November 25, 2025 at 9:26 AM
I wish I didn’t have to share this. But the BBC has decided to censor my first Reith Lecture.
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
They deleted the line in which I describe Donald Trump as “the most openly corrupt president in American history.” /1
Reposted by Helen
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane
In case you were wondering. This is what it looks like from my point of view when I am sobbing into Pringles’s face and giving him lil kisses on his moustache
November 24, 2025 at 7:52 PM
In case you were wondering. This is what it looks like from my point of view when I am sobbing into Pringles’s face and giving him lil kisses on his moustache
No hands, you’re not the goalie
November 24, 2025 at 12:21 AM
No hands, you’re not the goalie
Reposted by Helen
i think everyone is sexy and beautiful unless you don’t recycle then you can be gone out of my sight
November 23, 2025 at 6:31 AM
i think everyone is sexy and beautiful unless you don’t recycle then you can be gone out of my sight
Reposted by Helen
when i got my job making the menus for an indian restaurant they made me sign a naan disclosure agreement
February 27, 2025 at 3:02 AM
when i got my job making the menus for an indian restaurant they made me sign a naan disclosure agreement