noam chompers
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noamchompers.bsky.social
noam chompers
@noamchompers.bsky.social
Mid-career postdoc
a lotta yall still dont get it

ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape

so if you have 1 astro ape and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new apes
November 18, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Brown bagging in west Lafayette
Tomorrow Mason Westfall (Johns Hopkins) will join the CAIC Brown Bag series for a mid-week talk titled "Are Sexual Orientations Really About Gender?"
November 18, 2025 at 3:13 AM
Reposted by noam chompers
Men of various sizes hanging out @agholdier.bsky.social @noamchompers.bsky.social
November 18, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Reposted by noam chompers
@noamchompers.bsky.social just told @oldjerryfodor.bsky.social's grad seminar that he's "familiar with the internet" and I, for one, am glad to see a philosopher saying something noncontroversial
November 17, 2025 at 9:54 PM
does anyone have any thoughts about olivia nuzzi's forthcoming memoir American Canto, or the colorful personal life it documents?
November 17, 2025 at 5:09 PM
I am definitely in the Midwest
November 17, 2025 at 1:27 AM
need someone to fly half way across the country to talk about the epistemology of polarization and the metaphysics of sexual orientation? i literally do not know who else you could ask
November 16, 2025 at 5:08 PM
If we wanted to be real strict and technical about the meaning of ‘pedophile’, then the salient thing about Jeffery Epstein is that he was much worse than that
November 16, 2025 at 2:14 PM
finding it funny that journalists are such big nerds that they think olivia nuzzi is cool
November 15, 2025 at 8:47 PM
putting 'you know how jews and catholics sorta vibe?' in my cover letters for jesuit institutions
November 15, 2025 at 8:42 PM
yes, i am interested in the job you are advertising; no, i will not be uploading a copy of my undergraduate transcripts. it doesn't matter whether 'unofficial is okay'. i would prefer not to
November 15, 2025 at 8:06 PM
donald trump doing sex crimes for decades is a distraction from the real issues: my idea for an advance tax credit for small business owners
November 15, 2025 at 7:19 PM
working on a handout
November 15, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Reposted by noam chompers
this is a bop
I made a song entirely from 50 country artists singing "cold beer"
YouTube video by There I Ruined It
youtu.be
November 15, 2025 at 6:25 AM
please DO NOT call jeffery epstein a pedophile—which is TECHNICALLY incorrect—instead call him a serial rapist and sex trafficker of minors—which is i guess supposed to be importantly different for some reason nobody can quite manage to explain
November 15, 2025 at 3:02 AM
blowing my mind that of all the noteworthy things about this video clip, chris cuomo's facial hair is nevertheless the most salient
Dershowitz: The predecessor on your show described Epstein as a convicted pedophile. He pleaded guilty to one count of having sex for money with a 17-year-and-10-month-old person. That’s not a pedophile.
November 15, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Reposted by noam chompers
Being observed today so I guess I'll go through the slit on the left
November 14, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Reposted by noam chompers
You forgot to mention that his dad is this Bernstein
November 14, 2025 at 6:34 PM
sometimes a lede is so bad, i go to google to learn more about the author. so it's my pleasure to introduce you to [drumroll] nora ephron's son jacob bernstein
what the actual fuck
November 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Reposted by noam chompers
lol
November 14, 2025 at 4:33 PM
i think it's fine to go 'i think bsky's moderation policies should be different', but at this point i don't have much sympathy for super active users acting shocked about what the policies are. death threat-y stuff is gonna get you popped; act accordingly
November 14, 2025 at 4:38 PM
what a gift to have 'aged out' of applying for various prestigious postdocs. i finally don't have to not get the mindcore postdoc every year
November 14, 2025 at 4:25 PM
so cool that robyn's new song is about my third favorite neurotransmitter

www.youtube.com/watch?v=viti...
Robyn - Dopamine (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by Robyn
www.youtube.com
November 14, 2025 at 2:33 PM
an anonymous correspondent sent me this
November 14, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I suppose my wokest opinion is that it’s generally worthwhile to try to speak in ways that don’t upset people, even if that turns out to be occasionally effortful or cumbersome
November 14, 2025 at 1:41 PM