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mattitations.bsky.social
mattitations
@mattitations.bsky.social
astros, longhorns, cougars, beatles, dylan, books, ⚖️

pfp: adhoganart.com
Reposted by mattitations
November 10, 2025 at 2:04 AM
a modern pieta. a muppieta.
oh just muppetizing movie scenes: thread
November 9, 2025 at 11:16 PM
thursday murder club is a warm bath of a british cozy that has All the British Actors in it. by the time jonathan pryce shows up you’re like, well, of course. anthony hopkins should pop out from behind that curtain any minute now.
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 PM
since this is portland I assume these people were just walking around in their regular street inflatable animal suits when they happened upon the protest
Hello from outside the Portland ICE facility.
November 9, 2025 at 2:55 AM
this banana tree pod is about to spawn a xenomorph
November 9, 2025 at 2:53 AM
sweet
November 8, 2025 at 8:43 PM
super lol at the minion trying to make crybaby rob sound tough
These new details from last summer's confrontation between Rob Manfred and Bryce Harper are absolutely insane.

MLB officials threatening players will "end up in a ditch" for disrespecting Manfred is outrageous behavior.

www.newsweek.com/sports/mlb/p...
November 8, 2025 at 7:05 PM
I think everyone who grew up in austin in the 80s knows this by heart. my spouse (htx born and bred) had no idea what I was talking about when I rattled it off for her. my uncle otoh joined in and sang it with me last week

youtu.be/YDtCFOxYcYo
November 8, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Reposted by mattitations
Billy, this is Paul DePodesta. He started with the Indians in 1996 so he knows how to run a team with five nickels and a dream. His nickname is “Google Boy.” His defect is he hasn’t worked in baseball in 10 years and the whole league uses sabermetrics now.
November 7, 2025 at 6:47 PM
just found out for the second time in two months that opposing counsel in one of my cases suddenly passed away of a heart attack. awful news.

apparently the attorney keeled over at his desk during trial prep. there but for the grace of ye holiest go I

#lawsky ⚖️
November 6, 2025 at 5:37 PM
song mew by purr
Took the cats out for a walk with my brother and accidentally created a 90s Britpop album cover
November 6, 2025 at 12:16 AM
November 5, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Reposted by mattitations
$100 to whomever in that courtroom reads the verdict as “IVE GOT A NOT GUILTY READY FOR PICK UP!”
The sandwich guy jury has begun to deliber-ATE

sorry not sorry
“This case, ladies and gentleman of the jury, is about a sandwich.”

Closing arguments from the defense in the DC sandwich guy case are now underway.
November 5, 2025 at 8:27 PM
techknockers: we’re putting ai in absolutely everything

the ai:
just....enjoy this
November 5, 2025 at 8:39 PM
the only thing I agree with this guy on is that jd vance should shut the fuck up
Trump: "I want my cabinet to behave like [Xi Jinping's staff]. I'm demanding that....I've never seen men so scared in their lives...JD doesn't behave like that. JD butts into conversations."
November 5, 2025 at 3:43 PM
the next occupant is going to have to literally clean house like the scouring of the shire
To make sure he doesn’t get lost?
November 5, 2025 at 3:38 PM
cuomo to announce tomorrow he’s running as a super-independent after getting his ass absolutely silver-plattered… again
November 5, 2025 at 3:56 AM
the ubiquity of crypto, ai, gambling, and nfts has made me realize that we are living in a mass delusion that everything is computer.

it’s not.
November 5, 2025 at 12:03 AM
god is an #astros fan
November 4, 2025 at 11:41 PM
three days later and I’m still laughing about this
"What the fuck man?"
"Fuck you, motherfucker"
November 4, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Reposted by mattitations
Thank you, Chas! Your time here will be remembered
#Astros
November 4, 2025 at 7:08 PM
“I could smell the onions and mustard”
November 4, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Reposted by mattitations
HEY EVERYBODY OUT THERE. GO VOTE
November 4, 2025 at 2:39 PM
people on here will skeet anything. “dick cheney has died.” no he didn’t. that isn’t true. he has assumed his final form as a Nazgûl.
November 4, 2025 at 2:27 PM
IF YOU’RE IN LINE TO MAKE A JOKE ABOUT DICK CHENEY, STAY IN LINE
November 4, 2025 at 12:32 PM