mattitations
@mattitations.bsky.social
I was born at the bottom of a wishing well
also I like books, baseball, and nice people
also I like books, baseball, and nice people
Reposted by mattitations
“what happens when we die?”
uhhhh look kid sometimes men like men & women like women amongst other possibilities.
uhhhh look kid sometimes men like men & women like women amongst other possibilities.
always so funny to me when people are like “how am I supposed to explain Gay to my kids?” my kid asks me way harder shit all the time. “why did they build the road this way? why are some people bad?” I don’t know. please ask me about Gay
February 10, 2026 at 2:07 PM
“what happens when we die?”
uhhhh look kid sometimes men like men & women like women amongst other possibilities.
uhhhh look kid sometimes men like men & women like women amongst other possibilities.
Reposted by mattitations
Santa was WHITE
Football is OURS
Skittles are CURRENCY
Nermal was CUTER than GARFIELD
Plants are NOT ALIVE
Vests should be worn BACKWARDS
Lakes are IMAGINARY
Jumping is BAD
Shoes are for HANDS
Football is OURS
Skittles are CURRENCY
Nermal was CUTER than GARFIELD
Plants are NOT ALIVE
Vests should be worn BACKWARDS
Lakes are IMAGINARY
Jumping is BAD
Shoes are for HANDS
Megyn Kelly just shouting “FOOTBALL IS OURS” at Piers Morgan about Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl show is the perfect example of this moment in time. Put it in a time capsule and send it out into space.
February 10, 2026 at 4:33 AM
Santa was WHITE
Football is OURS
Skittles are CURRENCY
Nermal was CUTER than GARFIELD
Plants are NOT ALIVE
Vests should be worn BACKWARDS
Lakes are IMAGINARY
Jumping is BAD
Shoes are for HANDS
Football is OURS
Skittles are CURRENCY
Nermal was CUTER than GARFIELD
Plants are NOT ALIVE
Vests should be worn BACKWARDS
Lakes are IMAGINARY
Jumping is BAD
Shoes are for HANDS
like they asked ai to mock up some generic maga bums
February 10, 2026 at 4:25 AM
like they asked ai to mock up some generic maga bums
I love that 3/8 of the pictures are of bald white guys with facial hair
February 10, 2026 at 4:24 AM
I love that 3/8 of the pictures are of bald white guys with facial hair
you could tell me he admitted he ate a baby in the next to last sentence and I would have to believe you because I’m not reading this
February 9, 2026 at 11:13 PM
you could tell me he admitted he ate a baby in the next to last sentence and I would have to believe you because I’m not reading this
jeb bush lies in bed at night when he can’t sleep thinking about how the only thing people will remember about him ten years after he dies is the please clap meme
February 8, 2026 at 9:39 PM
jeb bush lies in bed at night when he can’t sleep thinking about how the only thing people will remember about him ten years after he dies is the please clap meme
starburst jelly beans are the best jelly beans
February 8, 2026 at 9:26 PM
starburst jelly beans are the best jelly beans
Reposted by mattitations
February 8, 2026 at 9:04 PM
cake voice:
he’s eating the FERMENTS
he’s going for MEATS
he’s got gogurts (GOGURTS)
gogurts before game time please
he’s eating the FERMENTS
he’s going for MEATS
he’s got gogurts (GOGURTS)
gogurts before game time please
February 8, 2026 at 8:17 PM
cake voice:
he’s eating the FERMENTS
he’s going for MEATS
he’s got gogurts (GOGURTS)
gogurts before game time please
he’s eating the FERMENTS
he’s going for MEATS
he’s got gogurts (GOGURTS)
gogurts before game time please
and bob dylan won the nobel prize!
February 8, 2026 at 7:50 PM
and bob dylan won the nobel prize!
Reposted by mattitations
give me the ferments
and free my soul
I’m only eatin yogurt
at the super bowl
I’m RFK
and free my soul
I’m only eatin yogurt
at the super bowl
I’m RFK
RFK Jr on what he'll eat during the Super Bowl: "I am on a carnivore diet so I just eat meat and ferments, and I'm very happy with that. So I'm probably going to have yogurt."
February 8, 2026 at 6:45 PM
give me the ferments
and free my soul
I’m only eatin yogurt
at the super bowl
I’m RFK
and free my soul
I’m only eatin yogurt
at the super bowl
I’m RFK
like the wizard of oz but the wizard is a decomposing wart hog
February 8, 2026 at 7:39 PM
like the wizard of oz but the wizard is a decomposing wart hog
the prep was the worst part by far.
the doctor: this is the sleepy drug. you’ll be asleep in ten seconds.
me: sounds great, doczzzzzzzz
the doctor: this is the sleepy drug. you’ll be asleep in ten seconds.
me: sounds great, doczzzzzzzz
February 8, 2026 at 7:38 PM
the prep was the worst part by far.
the doctor: this is the sleepy drug. you’ll be asleep in ten seconds.
me: sounds great, doczzzzzzzz
the doctor: this is the sleepy drug. you’ll be asleep in ten seconds.
me: sounds great, doczzzzzzzz
now that’s what I call wok n’ roll
February 8, 2026 at 6:30 PM
now that’s what I call wok n’ roll
bless you, brother.
February 8, 2026 at 6:10 PM
bless you, brother.
amen and play ball!
February 8, 2026 at 5:54 PM
amen and play ball!
super bowl sunday is the national commemoration of the start of baseball season
Psst…
I bring you tidings of great joy…
PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!
I bring you tidings of great joy…
PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!
February 8, 2026 at 5:50 PM
super bowl sunday is the national commemoration of the start of baseball season
the best thing I’ll read this week
February 8, 2026 at 4:43 PM
the best thing I’ll read this week
which jack black movie is this?
February 8, 2026 at 4:31 PM
which jack black movie is this?
is he joining cbs news in time for next week’s whisky friday?
February 7, 2026 at 11:00 PM
is he joining cbs news in time for next week’s whisky friday?
it’s only seven songs but it gets the job done
February 7, 2026 at 10:52 PM
it’s only seven songs but it gets the job done
in this case the sports IS art
Arch of Hysteria, by Louise Bourgeois, 1993, 📸 by @jaredctilton
February 7, 2026 at 10:47 PM
in this case the sports IS art
aw look at that happy boy!
February 7, 2026 at 10:31 PM
aw look at that happy boy!
probably my favorite dead song. I have a playlist of just different versions
February 7, 2026 at 10:23 PM
probably my favorite dead song. I have a playlist of just different versions