no longer a flip phone haver rip
@lilzard.bsky.social
she/they/any pronouns your little heart desires
i just accidentally swallowed an edamame like a pill
July 22, 2025 at 10:53 PM
i just accidentally swallowed an edamame like a pill
thinking about the vegan “salad” i was given at a wedding in place of the butter-having squash soup that was literally a plate of romaine with olive oil and a sprinkle of salt
April 27, 2025 at 11:27 PM
thinking about the vegan “salad” i was given at a wedding in place of the butter-having squash soup that was literally a plate of romaine with olive oil and a sprinkle of salt
i love okra for being weird and slimey and poppy why arent more veggies like alien food
April 14, 2025 at 11:54 PM
i love okra for being weird and slimey and poppy why arent more veggies like alien food
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broke: eating pussy freestyle
woke: writing the alphabet with your tongue
bespoke:
woke: writing the alphabet with your tongue
bespoke:
March 15, 2025 at 3:21 PM
broke: eating pussy freestyle
woke: writing the alphabet with your tongue
bespoke:
woke: writing the alphabet with your tongue
bespoke:
finished my taxes! i only cried 3 times and only hit my desk out of frustration scaring the dog once!
March 14, 2025 at 9:30 PM
finished my taxes! i only cried 3 times and only hit my desk out of frustration scaring the dog once!
Reposted by no longer a flip phone haver rip
I love these stickers cause it's like, when? When he was loudly transphobic and anti-union and a white supremacist his entire public life but didn't have a government position?
March 6, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I love these stickers cause it's like, when? When he was loudly transphobic and anti-union and a white supremacist his entire public life but didn't have a government position?
Reposted by no longer a flip phone haver rip
RFK really missed the simplest lesson of LBJ’s career, try not to get any kids killed if your name rhymes with “how many kids did you kill today”
February 27, 2025 at 11:34 PM
RFK really missed the simplest lesson of LBJ’s career, try not to get any kids killed if your name rhymes with “how many kids did you kill today”
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Reposted by no longer a flip phone haver rip
Reposted by no longer a flip phone haver rip
I know I’m not a fancy political strategist but I’ve just got this slight feeling that “look at what hypocrites Republicans are on trade policy” might not be as effective a message to the average voter as “your kids might die because Donald Trump thinks it’s okay to feed cows chicken shit”
February 8, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I know I’m not a fancy political strategist but I’ve just got this slight feeling that “look at what hypocrites Republicans are on trade policy” might not be as effective a message to the average voter as “your kids might die because Donald Trump thinks it’s okay to feed cows chicken shit”
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i;ve got al ot gooin g on right now
February 3, 2025 at 2:44 PM
i;ve got al ot gooin g on right now
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super bowl ad
not even kidding about this, do a super bowl ad about how Elon has your social security number and can shut off your grandma's check at any time
not even kidding about this, do a super bowl ad about how Elon has your social security number and can shut off your grandma's check at any time
Maybe someone with the means to do so should take out a full-page ad in as many newspapers as they can that just says “ELON MUSK HAS YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER”
"I just want to be clear about what's going on here."
- @warren.senate.gov
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIHN...
- @warren.senate.gov
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIHN...
February 4, 2025 at 11:09 PM
super bowl ad
not even kidding about this, do a super bowl ad about how Elon has your social security number and can shut off your grandma's check at any time
not even kidding about this, do a super bowl ad about how Elon has your social security number and can shut off your grandma's check at any time
@sissysmores.bsky.social sister ! greetings !
February 5, 2025 at 1:12 AM
@sissysmores.bsky.social sister ! greetings !
god i fucking love pesto
February 5, 2025 at 1:09 AM
god i fucking love pesto
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“nobody saw this coming” = “we considered everyone who saw this coming a nobody”
"No one ever thought this would happen" is dishonest and journalists not pointing that out are doing you all a disservice. Many people said word for word this would happen. You just didn't respect those people. And you need to be honest instead of the feigned surprise for sympathy.
February 2, 2025 at 9:09 PM
“nobody saw this coming” = “we considered everyone who saw this coming a nobody”
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Hot take here but sometimes I wish the horrors weren’t so persistent
February 1, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Hot take here but sometimes I wish the horrors weren’t so persistent
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Got rid of all my irrational anxieties by replacing them with accurate fears
January 30, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Got rid of all my irrational anxieties by replacing them with accurate fears
i forgot i had this app i havent used it since i got an iphone
January 30, 2025 at 2:16 PM
i forgot i had this app i havent used it since i got an iphone
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they should make more movies with aubrey plaza in
September 12, 2024 at 12:19 PM
they should make more movies with aubrey plaza in
I want cheese I hate covid
September 6, 2024 at 6:59 PM
I want cheese I hate covid
I can watch the trains go by from my bed if the window is open
September 5, 2024 at 2:49 PM
I can watch the trains go by from my bed if the window is open
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Intend your puns, you cowards.
May 21, 2024 at 11:30 AM
Intend your puns, you cowards.
I wanna die again
May 21, 2024 at 7:16 PM
I wanna die again
I want more pasta salad but I can't get a third bowl that'd be jus t
April 21, 2024 at 12:31 AM
I want more pasta salad but I can't get a third bowl that'd be jus t