Jimmy Ryals
@jpryals.bsky.social
Write, editor, crafter of fine puns and sandwich bard.
Read some of my stuff!
https://www.theassemblync.com/author/jimmy-ryals/
https://www.jimmyryalswrites.com/
https://slate.com/author/jimmy-ryals
Read some of my stuff!
https://www.theassemblync.com/author/jimmy-ryals/
https://www.jimmyryalswrites.com/
https://slate.com/author/jimmy-ryals
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
“Have Yourself A Merriam Little Christmas”
Merriam, a career-oriented lexicographer from the city, returns to her small town for the holidays and meets Webster, a ruggedly handsome librarian, who shows her the true DEFINITION of Christmas.
Merriam, a career-oriented lexicographer from the city, returns to her small town for the holidays and meets Webster, a ruggedly handsome librarian, who shows her the true DEFINITION of Christmas.
December 2, 2025 at 7:18 PM
“Have Yourself A Merriam Little Christmas”
Merriam, a career-oriented lexicographer from the city, returns to her small town for the holidays and meets Webster, a ruggedly handsome librarian, who shows her the true DEFINITION of Christmas.
Merriam, a career-oriented lexicographer from the city, returns to her small town for the holidays and meets Webster, a ruggedly handsome librarian, who shows her the true DEFINITION of Christmas.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
For years, the process of getting your business's name on one of those blue highway signs was the same. That all changed in July, when the state privatized the program after more than 40 years managing it.
www.theassemblync.com/news/busines...
www.theassemblync.com/news/busines...
Businesses Pay to Get On Those Blue Road Signs—and the Price Just Went Up
Ever wonder how a restaurant or gas station gets on those blue road signs? For many N.C. businesses, it just got more expensive.
www.theassemblync.com
December 1, 2025 at 9:58 PM
For years, the process of getting your business's name on one of those blue highway signs was the same. That all changed in July, when the state privatized the program after more than 40 years managing it.
www.theassemblync.com/news/busines...
www.theassemblync.com/news/busines...
A thing to add to your gratitude list: Somehow, the CPSB didn’t get DOGE-d and it’s still being weird and helpful on social media.
Black Friday reminder - that product with a great price being sold by a company with a name that's just a bunch of random letters may end up on our website someday because it explodes.
November 28, 2025 at 4:25 PM
A thing to add to your gratitude list: Somehow, the CPSB didn’t get DOGE-d and it’s still being weird and helpful on social media.
I've always wondered who decides which gas stations, restaurants & hotels get their logos on blue highway signs. As it turns out: There's a market for that. For @theassemblync.bsky.social I dug into the recently privatized logo sign program: www.theassemblync.com/news/busines...
Businesses Pay to Get On Those Blue Road Signs—and the Price Just Went Up
Ever wonder how a restaurant or gas station gets on those blue road signs? For many N.C. businesses, it just got more expensive.
www.theassemblync.com
November 26, 2025 at 4:02 PM
I've always wondered who decides which gas stations, restaurants & hotels get their logos on blue highway signs. As it turns out: There's a market for that. For @theassemblync.bsky.social I dug into the recently privatized logo sign program: www.theassemblync.com/news/busines...
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
food takes are what got jean valjean into trouble
November 25, 2025 at 10:20 PM
food takes are what got jean valjean into trouble
McMaggot salad
McDonald's Shrimp Salad (1985-1986): A garden salad topped hardboiled eggs and mini shrimp cocktail. This offering made national headlines when improperly stored shrimp led to a typhoid outbreak in Maryland. This salad has popped back up in some European markets in recent years
November 24, 2025 at 2:09 AM
McMaggot salad
There's guys you can hit and guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, Charlie Brown. But he's almost a guy you can't hit.
I’m not the guy you kill, Charlie Brown. I’m the guy you buy!
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 2:06 AM
There's guys you can hit and guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, Charlie Brown. But he's almost a guy you can't hit.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
Really important to stress that the Crown Jewels of the US higher education system were never the Ivies or elite SLACs (other countries have equivalents of these) but the well-funded, large, cheap, and excellently staffed public state university systems bringing high quality education to the masses.
November 23, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Really important to stress that the Crown Jewels of the US higher education system were never the Ivies or elite SLACs (other countries have equivalents of these) but the well-funded, large, cheap, and excellently staffed public state university systems bringing high quality education to the masses.
How did he not use Zohran Mam-COMMIE.
Trump says he’s meeting with “communist” Mamdani at the White House on Friday
November 20, 2025 at 2:37 AM
How did he not use Zohran Mam-COMMIE.
Courage works.
Zohran at the rally for trans youth on february 8 ❣️ he was polling single digits.
November 5, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Courage works.
Surely we can all agree on the best album of 1989.
October 30, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Surely we can all agree on the best album of 1989.
This is absolutely how health care for trans people should be covered.
Health and science reporters should lead the coverage of all these health-related conspiracy theories & newsroom leaders should keep their both-sides political reporters out of their way.
September 23, 2025 at 7:41 PM
This is absolutely how health care for trans people should be covered.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
False. I recently checked the ADL data, which has some issues because they include non-ideological murders. But even with those removed, over the past decade right-wing extremists would account for about half of the murders, with about 35% by Islamist extremists, and 8% by left-wing extremists.
Vance: "While our side of the aisle certainly has its crazies, it is a statistical fact that most of the lunatics in American politics today are proud members of the far-Left."
September 15, 2025 at 7:49 PM
False. I recently checked the ADL data, which has some issues because they include non-ideological murders. But even with those removed, over the past decade right-wing extremists would account for about half of the murders, with about 35% by Islamist extremists, and 8% by left-wing extremists.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
the way the right keeps obsessively trying to blame this shooting on trans people is deeply sick and incredibly dangerous, and powerful people and institutions turning a blind eye to it are complicit
just leave them alone
just leave them alone
September 14, 2025 at 3:49 PM
the way the right keeps obsessively trying to blame this shooting on trans people is deeply sick and incredibly dangerous, and powerful people and institutions turning a blind eye to it are complicit
just leave them alone
just leave them alone
I’m late to season 4 of “The Bear” and just want to appreciate Robert Townsend for a minute. He exudes pure joy, even when he’s in a hospital bed. And this show (great as it is) needs that. Glad he’s still doing it, 40 years after making some
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
September 6, 2025 at 1:41 AM
I’m late to season 4 of “The Bear” and just want to appreciate Robert Townsend for a minute. He exudes pure joy, even when he’s in a hospital bed. And this show (great as it is) needs that. Glad he’s still doing it, 40 years after making some
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
of the funniest stuff of the 1980s.
September 2, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
well and truly one of the best. what a loss, man.
September 1, 2025 at 11:08 PM
well and truly one of the best. what a loss, man.
When I was a kid (5ish), I stole a pack of Thriller baseball cards from a drug store. Made the mistake of bragging to my sister, who told my mom, who took me back to the store to confess (and browbeat the manager into giving me a real talking to).
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
23. What is your fondest memory revolving around Michael Jackson?
August 29, 2025 at 1:17 PM
When I was a kid (5ish), I stole a pack of Thriller baseball cards from a drug store. Made the mistake of bragging to my sister, who told my mom, who took me back to the store to confess (and browbeat the manager into giving me a real talking to).
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
Oh, it said "fondest." Nevermind.
Human Nature is the correct answer!
human nature!
18. Tell me your favorite song from this album.
August 29, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Human Nature is the correct answer!
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
much easier to understand the sheer bloody intensity of the civil war when you have a good grasp on just how terrible slavery was.
"How bad slavery was" is worse. Much worse. Much worse than you think, much worse than you're taught, much worse than museums depict. Worse.
August 19, 2025 at 11:30 PM
much easier to understand the sheer bloody intensity of the civil war when you have a good grasp on just how terrible slavery was.
Another near-miss for people seeking Ms. Right Now, not Ms. Right.
NEW YORK (AP) — Television's MSNBC network is changing its name to My Source News Opinion World, or MS NOW for short.
August 18, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Another near-miss for people seeking Ms. Right Now, not Ms. Right.
This is simultaneously one of the best things I’ve read about both Hurricane Helene and our toxic information environment. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/11/m...
I Never Understood Our Data-Saturated Life Until a Hurricane Shut It Down
www.nytimes.com
August 17, 2025 at 11:28 PM
This is simultaneously one of the best things I’ve read about both Hurricane Helene and our toxic information environment. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/11/m...
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
Extraordinary piece on what happened when small, isolated towns across North Carolina had to recreate networks of communication - and networks of trust - without cell phones internet, or electricity in the wake of Helene.
Gift link:
Gift link:
I Never Understood Our Data-Saturated Life Until a Hurricane Shut It Down
www.nytimes.com
August 17, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Extraordinary piece on what happened when small, isolated towns across North Carolina had to recreate networks of communication - and networks of trust - without cell phones internet, or electricity in the wake of Helene.
Gift link:
Gift link:
No one has ever had bigger “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s” energy than the questioner in this Loomer deposition.
August 13, 2025 at 1:56 AM
No one has ever had bigger “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s” energy than the questioner in this Loomer deposition.
Reposted by Jimmy Ryals
i believe that short form video is maybe one of the worst things people have ever come up with and it should be regulated at least as much as cigarettes
August 10, 2025 at 9:35 PM
i believe that short form video is maybe one of the worst things people have ever come up with and it should be regulated at least as much as cigarettes