Trauma can damage our relationships in subtle ways.

Overfunctioning, compromising one's needs, tiptoeing around loved ones, and taking on excess emotional labor are all exhausting. A lot of us deal with these symptoms, and then feel shame for being burned out and restless.

Image: crazyheadcomics

With the state of the US, and the barriers to equitable, adequate mental healthcare, this feels incredibly relevant:

"...psychotherapy is not designed to function as an individual’s primary or exclusive relational support system...therapy cannot replace community." Christina Song, LMHC, LMFT-S

Reminder that completing one act of care for yourself can energize you, often immediately.

Regularly doing one kindness for yourself can reduce burnout. You don't have to change your whole life to feel better.

This is especially true for those mobilizing right now. We're best when we're well.

Are you feeling overwhelmed (and outside of Minnesota?) - a reminder to give yourself some offline time, connect locally with people and groups doing local support and mutual aid, and to breathe.
This is long game, and this is about protecting each other.

We know turtle island is stolen land. So let's examine the past and shift our cultural identity (away from the "patriot.") Our communities are built on and nurtured by Indigenous, Latinx, Black, immigrant, queer, trans, and otherwise intersectional folx. And we'll remain after this regime burns out.

I'm not one for false optimism. But what I witnessed today in Minneapolis was tremendous, both in scale and exuberance. It was a stunning answer to the federal assault on Minnesota, a show of solidarity that gives us something to hold on to during times that are unforgiving.

This is a beautiful read about how intimacy is culturally-informed.

Significantly, the author notes that Black southerners share an intimacy that is based in the eternal quest for freedom.

It's a great invitation to ask yourself: which collective experiences connect me to my communities?

If you're ever afraid that you're going backwards, remember that healing journeys are an upward spiral.

We revisit patterns, triggers, and wounds, yet we're never exactly where we once were. We gain a little more experience, an elevated perspective. You're human, and who you are now is enough.

For any marginalized folx who feel helpless rn:

1. Your survival is precious. We need you alive and well. Protect yourself from burnout.

2. Your neighbors and loved ones are community. Share resources & care for your locale.

3. Emotional resilience is key. And mental health thrives with support.

I love this so hard for us.

New podcast launching Feb. 4!

I'm Milo, a mixed, ND, transmasc, queer, and I'm tired of mental health advice excluding intersectional folx.

As a trauma recovery coach (me), and a sex therapist (Dylan), we speak beyond the mainstream.

Tell us: what's the #1 way trauma hurts your relationships?

This is so relatable because our culture normalizes suffering in silence.

We're conditioned to believe that expressing pain is "weak," "attention-seeking," or "fake."

Never forget that asking for help is one of humanity's strongest evolutionary skills. You deserve to be heard, seen, and supported.

Us neurospicy intersectional folx can have a lot of trauma around emotional intimacy. It's so common to avoid conflict and suppress feelings until we've forgotten how to connect, even when we mutually desire connection. What's your biggest challenge with communicating in relationships? Let's talk.