Empress of Blandings
@harpomx.bsky.social
Historian, compulsive bookworm, owned by an old rescue dog, youngish old fart 🌻🇺🇦🏳️🌈
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Daaaaamn this holiday sugar crash/normal seasonal depression/2025 retrospective crossover is ROUGH
December 29, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Daaaaamn this holiday sugar crash/normal seasonal depression/2025 retrospective crossover is ROUGH
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
What’s the best holiday gift?
1. cloak of many pockets
2. basket of banned books
3. bejeweled dueling dagger
4. solid gold library card
1. cloak of many pockets
2. basket of banned books
3. bejeweled dueling dagger
4. solid gold library card
December 19, 2025 at 3:01 AM
What’s the best holiday gift?
1. cloak of many pockets
2. basket of banned books
3. bejeweled dueling dagger
4. solid gold library card
1. cloak of many pockets
2. basket of banned books
3. bejeweled dueling dagger
4. solid gold library card
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Become ungovernable
December 17, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Become ungovernable
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Gang gang cockatoo science is sometimes quite undignified 🥲
December 17, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Gang gang cockatoo science is sometimes quite undignified 🥲
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A man passes me doing a Python-style silly walk. I exchange looks with the lady behind him as she mouths 'He's not with me'. He clearly is.
December 15, 2025 at 11:20 PM
A man passes me doing a Python-style silly walk. I exchange looks with the lady behind him as she mouths 'He's not with me'. He clearly is.
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I’m being stalked by a kitten. Fortunately she is wearing a bell, and she bounces a lot, so she’s pretty bad at it.
December 16, 2025 at 5:32 AM
I’m being stalked by a kitten. Fortunately she is wearing a bell, and she bounces a lot, so she’s pretty bad at it.
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My Christmas list this year…
- 10 to 15 minutes of being just regular whelmed
- a gift card for the void
- one (1) precedented time
- a day where I don’t spend $150
- legos
- 10 to 15 minutes of being just regular whelmed
- a gift card for the void
- one (1) precedented time
- a day where I don’t spend $150
- legos
December 12, 2025 at 3:52 PM
My Christmas list this year…
- 10 to 15 minutes of being just regular whelmed
- a gift card for the void
- one (1) precedented time
- a day where I don’t spend $150
- legos
- 10 to 15 minutes of being just regular whelmed
- a gift card for the void
- one (1) precedented time
- a day where I don’t spend $150
- legos
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
A spangled drongo has been hanging out in my backyard. That sounds like a weird Australian euphemism but is actually just a normal Australian bird
December 10, 2025 at 5:42 AM
A spangled drongo has been hanging out in my backyard. That sounds like a weird Australian euphemism but is actually just a normal Australian bird
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
On the back of a pub toilet door in south London: If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.
December 2, 2025 at 8:56 PM
On the back of a pub toilet door in south London: If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.
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My hobbies include:
- Switching between the same three apps for hours
- Not speaking to anyone for days at a time
- Listening to the same songs I've been listening to for 15 years
- Imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
- Switching between the same three apps for hours
- Not speaking to anyone for days at a time
- Listening to the same songs I've been listening to for 15 years
- Imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
November 30, 2025 at 9:06 PM
My hobbies include:
- Switching between the same three apps for hours
- Not speaking to anyone for days at a time
- Listening to the same songs I've been listening to for 15 years
- Imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
- Switching between the same three apps for hours
- Not speaking to anyone for days at a time
- Listening to the same songs I've been listening to for 15 years
- Imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Most economists agree that by age 50, you should:
- own at least one magic sword
- get advice from an enchanted bear skull
- be covered by a thin layer of moss & lichen
- disappear into a malevolent fog once a month
- become a creature of myth & legend in the old forest
- own at least one magic sword
- get advice from an enchanted bear skull
- be covered by a thin layer of moss & lichen
- disappear into a malevolent fog once a month
- become a creature of myth & legend in the old forest
November 30, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Most economists agree that by age 50, you should:
- own at least one magic sword
- get advice from an enchanted bear skull
- be covered by a thin layer of moss & lichen
- disappear into a malevolent fog once a month
- become a creature of myth & legend in the old forest
- own at least one magic sword
- get advice from an enchanted bear skull
- be covered by a thin layer of moss & lichen
- disappear into a malevolent fog once a month
- become a creature of myth & legend in the old forest
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
90% of situations would benefit from having a cord you could pull to deploy an inflatable emergency slide like on an airplane
November 29, 2025 at 7:46 PM
90% of situations would benefit from having a cord you could pull to deploy an inflatable emergency slide like on an airplane
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November 29, 2025 at 7:24 AM
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and a pie closest of all, for when these other things disappoint you.
November 28, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and a pie closest of all, for when these other things disappoint you.
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Not those pesky humans again
November 28, 2025 at 8:59 AM
Not those pesky humans again
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Reposted by Empress of Blandings
My interior design aesthetic is what I call ‘ancient Egyptian burial chamber’ and that’s where the purpose of every single room in my house is to surround me with enough of my favorite things to last me through the afterlife
November 23, 2025 at 3:38 PM
My interior design aesthetic is what I call ‘ancient Egyptian burial chamber’ and that’s where the purpose of every single room in my house is to surround me with enough of my favorite things to last me through the afterlife
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I like the way you think.
I like the way you move through the world with a rumpled confusion, leaving a trail of half-baked ideas, overdue library books, and disappointments in your wake.
I like the way you move through the world with a rumpled confusion, leaving a trail of half-baked ideas, overdue library books, and disappointments in your wake.
November 21, 2025 at 10:55 PM
I like the way you think.
I like the way you move through the world with a rumpled confusion, leaving a trail of half-baked ideas, overdue library books, and disappointments in your wake.
I like the way you move through the world with a rumpled confusion, leaving a trail of half-baked ideas, overdue library books, and disappointments in your wake.
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Earlier today, I was notified that someone was at my door.
This is who it was:
This is who it was:
November 21, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Earlier today, I was notified that someone was at my door.
This is who it was:
This is who it was:
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
Reposted by Empress of Blandings
