Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
Be kind and stay weird.
Contributor to:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
Contributor to:
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
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My hope for you is that you always feel safe and warm, and that you will someday find yourself surrounded by wild Muppets in the heart of the forest, with plenty of wine & books and without a care in the world.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Don't judge me. How do YOU celebrate Thanksgiving?
(art by Hieronymus Bosch)
(art by Hieronymus Bosch)
November 28, 2024 at 8:18 PM
Don't judge me. How do YOU celebrate Thanksgiving?
(art by Hieronymus Bosch)
(art by Hieronymus Bosch)
Your holiday horoscope:
Give thanks today by resting your bones, reviving your spirit, and filling your body with a medically questionable amount of mashed potatoes.
Give thanks today by resting your bones, reviving your spirit, and filling your body with a medically questionable amount of mashed potatoes.
November 27, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Your holiday horoscope:
Give thanks today by resting your bones, reviving your spirit, and filling your body with a medically questionable amount of mashed potatoes.
Give thanks today by resting your bones, reviving your spirit, and filling your body with a medically questionable amount of mashed potatoes.
In this house we believe:
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
November 27, 2025 at 3:05 AM
In this house we believe:
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
- love is love
- science is real
- carbs are our friends
- gravy can fill the cracks in your heart
- turkey ghosts rule the night, and their terrifying gobble will one day find us all
Remember.
It's time to gather nuts, berries, and whiskey for the Great Turkey.
If the ancient foul demon finds no offering when it gobbles by on Thanksgiving Eve, its wrath will be terrible to behold.
It's time to gather nuts, berries, and whiskey for the Great Turkey.
If the ancient foul demon finds no offering when it gobbles by on Thanksgiving Eve, its wrath will be terrible to behold.
November 26, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Remember.
It's time to gather nuts, berries, and whiskey for the Great Turkey.
If the ancient foul demon finds no offering when it gobbles by on Thanksgiving Eve, its wrath will be terrible to behold.
It's time to gather nuts, berries, and whiskey for the Great Turkey.
If the ancient foul demon finds no offering when it gobbles by on Thanksgiving Eve, its wrath will be terrible to behold.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
What's your favorite late night snack?
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
November 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
What's your favorite late night snack?
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
Have you decided which treats to leave out for the Gravy Fairy on Thanksgiving Eve?
She's especially fond of powdered bones, rare milks, and arcane butter, crafted under the light of a blood moon.
She's especially fond of powdered bones, rare milks, and arcane butter, crafted under the light of a blood moon.
November 26, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Have you decided which treats to leave out for the Gravy Fairy on Thanksgiving Eve?
She's especially fond of powdered bones, rare milks, and arcane butter, crafted under the light of a blood moon.
She's especially fond of powdered bones, rare milks, and arcane butter, crafted under the light of a blood moon.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Remember.
No matter where you are in life, you're never too far away from a mossy haunted cottage in the woods, brimming with dark malice.
Take comfort in that.
No matter where you are in life, you're never too far away from a mossy haunted cottage in the woods, brimming with dark malice.
Take comfort in that.
November 8, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Remember.
No matter where you are in life, you're never too far away from a mossy haunted cottage in the woods, brimming with dark malice.
Take comfort in that.
No matter where you are in life, you're never too far away from a mossy haunted cottage in the woods, brimming with dark malice.
Take comfort in that.
Your daily fortune:
Ask not for whom the black tentacles rise from the deep dark sea, they rise for thee.
Ask not for whom the black tentacles rise from the deep dark sea, they rise for thee.
November 26, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Your daily fortune:
Ask not for whom the black tentacles rise from the deep dark sea, they rise for thee.
Ask not for whom the black tentacles rise from the deep dark sea, they rise for thee.
Your weather for this evening:
- gloomy skies above will be matched by a greyness in your soul
- a northwesterly wind will bring a sense of longing for lonely castles on shipwrecked shores
- 65% chance of heavy sighing & ennui will continue into tomorrow
- gloomy skies above will be matched by a greyness in your soul
- a northwesterly wind will bring a sense of longing for lonely castles on shipwrecked shores
- 65% chance of heavy sighing & ennui will continue into tomorrow
November 26, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Your weather for this evening:
- gloomy skies above will be matched by a greyness in your soul
- a northwesterly wind will bring a sense of longing for lonely castles on shipwrecked shores
- 65% chance of heavy sighing & ennui will continue into tomorrow
- gloomy skies above will be matched by a greyness in your soul
- a northwesterly wind will bring a sense of longing for lonely castles on shipwrecked shores
- 65% chance of heavy sighing & ennui will continue into tomorrow
What's your favorite late night snack?
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
November 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
What's your favorite late night snack?
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
1. something cheesy
2. something salty
3. something sweet
4. bones of my enemies
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
What are you made of?
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
November 25, 2025 at 3:51 AM
What are you made of?
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
I think I want what we all want - peace, love, warmth, and an enchanted cottage that floats through the night, trading used books and black market rum with the wild folk of the wood.
November 25, 2025 at 10:35 PM
I think I want what we all want - peace, love, warmth, and an enchanted cottage that floats through the night, trading used books and black market rum with the wild folk of the wood.
It's never too late to learn something new.
It's never too late to read dusty books of dark magic.
It's never too late to weave a cloak of moss, feathers, and thorns and become the horror that haunts the forest north of town.
It's never too late to read dusty books of dark magic.
It's never too late to weave a cloak of moss, feathers, and thorns and become the horror that haunts the forest north of town.
November 25, 2025 at 8:00 PM
It's never too late to learn something new.
It's never too late to read dusty books of dark magic.
It's never too late to weave a cloak of moss, feathers, and thorns and become the horror that haunts the forest north of town.
It's never too late to read dusty books of dark magic.
It's never too late to weave a cloak of moss, feathers, and thorns and become the horror that haunts the forest north of town.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
As always, there's no time like the present to disappear into a mysterious fog and become a reason the old forest north of town is considered haunted.
November 7, 2025 at 7:45 PM
As always, there's no time like the present to disappear into a mysterious fog and become a reason the old forest north of town is considered haunted.
Your daily horoscope:
Today you will feel like a dentist - working in the dark, filling little voids, and cleaning up after others.
Today you will feel like a dentist - working in the dark, filling little voids, and cleaning up after others.
November 25, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Your daily horoscope:
Today you will feel like a dentist - working in the dark, filling little voids, and cleaning up after others.
Today you will feel like a dentist - working in the dark, filling little voids, and cleaning up after others.
What are you made of?
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
November 25, 2025 at 3:51 AM
What are you made of?
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
1. tea & tenderness
2. books & baked goods
3. cheese & confusion
4. moss & chaos
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
What's your favorite Thanksgiving horror movie?
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
November 24, 2025 at 3:16 AM
What's your favorite Thanksgiving horror movie?
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Live your life to the fullest.
If that involves frightening a few townsfolk as you float down the street wrapped in old magic, daggers, and malice, then so be it.
If that involves frightening a few townsfolk as you float down the street wrapped in old magic, daggers, and malice, then so be it.
November 6, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Live your life to the fullest.
If that involves frightening a few townsfolk as you float down the street wrapped in old magic, daggers, and malice, then so be it.
If that involves frightening a few townsfolk as you float down the street wrapped in old magic, daggers, and malice, then so be it.
Things to do in Autumn:
- disappear into a malevolent fog
- cultivate a fine beard of moss
- become a potato wizard
- leave cider & doughnuts out for the Twig Witch
- embrace the darkness within and without you
- disappear into a malevolent fog
- cultivate a fine beard of moss
- become a potato wizard
- leave cider & doughnuts out for the Twig Witch
- embrace the darkness within and without you
November 24, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Things to do in Autumn:
- disappear into a malevolent fog
- cultivate a fine beard of moss
- become a potato wizard
- leave cider & doughnuts out for the Twig Witch
- embrace the darkness within and without you
- disappear into a malevolent fog
- cultivate a fine beard of moss
- become a potato wizard
- leave cider & doughnuts out for the Twig Witch
- embrace the darkness within and without you
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
I hope you find what you're looking for.
I also hope you someday own a haunted cottage that floats through mossy forests under starlit skies, spreading fear and wonder in equal measure.
I also hope you someday own a haunted cottage that floats through mossy forests under starlit skies, spreading fear and wonder in equal measure.
November 6, 2025 at 3:31 AM
I hope you find what you're looking for.
I also hope you someday own a haunted cottage that floats through mossy forests under starlit skies, spreading fear and wonder in equal measure.
I also hope you someday own a haunted cottage that floats through mossy forests under starlit skies, spreading fear and wonder in equal measure.
Your daily fortune:
Like a napkin, you will start your day neat and clean, but end it crumpled and stained.
Like a napkin, you will start your day neat and clean, but end it crumpled and stained.
November 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Your daily fortune:
Like a napkin, you will start your day neat and clean, but end it crumpled and stained.
Like a napkin, you will start your day neat and clean, but end it crumpled and stained.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Your daily horoscope:
Today you will feel like Pac-Man: always hungry but never sated, and forever hounded by ghosts from your past.
Today you will feel like Pac-Man: always hungry but never sated, and forever hounded by ghosts from your past.
November 2, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Your daily horoscope:
Today you will feel like Pac-Man: always hungry but never sated, and forever hounded by ghosts from your past.
Today you will feel like Pac-Man: always hungry but never sated, and forever hounded by ghosts from your past.
What's your favorite Thanksgiving horror movie?
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
November 24, 2025 at 3:16 AM
What's your favorite Thanksgiving horror movie?
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
1. Poultrygeist
2. Dark Was The Meat
3. Rosemary's Gravy
4. The Evil Bread
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Do not fear the night.
Face it boldly.
You and your creaking bones, fading memories, wine stained robe, and teetering piles of unread books belong to the darkness.
Face it boldly.
You and your creaking bones, fading memories, wine stained robe, and teetering piles of unread books belong to the darkness.
November 4, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Do not fear the night.
Face it boldly.
You and your creaking bones, fading memories, wine stained robe, and teetering piles of unread books belong to the darkness.
Face it boldly.
You and your creaking bones, fading memories, wine stained robe, and teetering piles of unread books belong to the darkness.
Reposted by Edmonds Scanner
Your daily fortune:
Not every problem can be solved with logic, coins, or daggers. Some can only be solved with potatoes. Lots of potatoes.
Not every problem can be solved with logic, coins, or daggers. Some can only be solved with potatoes. Lots of potatoes.
November 4, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Your daily fortune:
Not every problem can be solved with logic, coins, or daggers. Some can only be solved with potatoes. Lots of potatoes.
Not every problem can be solved with logic, coins, or daggers. Some can only be solved with potatoes. Lots of potatoes.