Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
Teacher. Feckless gadabout. Asparagus hater.
Pinned
When I was little, I used to play doctor with girls in my neighborhood. I pretended I had a PhD in Comparative Literature, and I'd serve them coffee at a pretend Starbucks.
I hope the next edition of E. B. White's The Elements of Style addresses "Boiled Peanuts" vs "Boiled P-nuts."
November 26, 2025 at 12:46 PM
I hope the next edition of E. B. White's The Elements of Style addresses "Boiled Peanuts" vs "Boiled P-nuts."
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
You’re at The
I need you at The
I need you at The
You’re at Milli
I need you at Vanilli
I need you at Vanilli
You're at Oates.
I need you at Hall.
I need you at Hall.
November 11, 2025 at 5:48 PM
You’re at The
I need you at The
I need you at The
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
Hey guys, I wanted to announce I don’t have a podcast.
April 2, 2024 at 7:24 PM
Hey guys, I wanted to announce I don’t have a podcast.
Fun fact: Every American male child in the 1940s was named "Bud."
November 25, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Fun fact: Every American male child in the 1940s was named "Bud."
The best part of Thanksgiving is having those outside Christmas lights I didn't take down last year finally come back in season.
November 25, 2025 at 11:59 AM
The best part of Thanksgiving is having those outside Christmas lights I didn't take down last year finally come back in season.
Thanks to Amazon's free samples for Kindle I'm extremely well read up to chapter two.
November 24, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Thanks to Amazon's free samples for Kindle I'm extremely well read up to chapter two.
Anyone who's watched NFL vets "analyzing" on a pre-game show, knows the ravages of brain damage from football.
November 21, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Anyone who's watched NFL vets "analyzing" on a pre-game show, knows the ravages of brain damage from football.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
ever since i was a little boy i always knew i wanted to be 38 years old writing short sentences on a website
November 20, 2025 at 1:29 PM
ever since i was a little boy i always knew i wanted to be 38 years old writing short sentences on a website
I'm old enough to remember Reagan's executive order speech in '87 when he granted amnesty to perpetratin' sucka MCs.
November 20, 2025 at 12:06 PM
I'm old enough to remember Reagan's executive order speech in '87 when he granted amnesty to perpetratin' sucka MCs.
"At least I don't have to stand in line at the DMV."
- Sisyphus
- Sisyphus
November 20, 2025 at 12:02 PM
"At least I don't have to stand in line at the DMV."
- Sisyphus
- Sisyphus
Why, yes, these are Bugle Boy jeans I'm wearing.
November 20, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Why, yes, these are Bugle Boy jeans I'm wearing.
If I were President, I would totally be in the pocket of Big Oreo and Big Chips-Ahoy, and school lunches would be more delicious than ever.
November 20, 2025 at 12:00 PM
If I were President, I would totally be in the pocket of Big Oreo and Big Chips-Ahoy, and school lunches would be more delicious than ever.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
[sinking in quicksand]
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
November 19, 2025 at 3:00 PM
[sinking in quicksand]
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
i really wish the word ‘mirror’ was a palindrome
November 18, 2025 at 2:49 AM
i really wish the word ‘mirror’ was a palindrome
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
The universe does things on a subatomic level that would get you arrested for bank fraud if you tried the financial equivalent.
November 19, 2025 at 4:59 AM
The universe does things on a subatomic level that would get you arrested for bank fraud if you tried the financial equivalent.
Kids, eat the edges of your Pop-Tarts: that's where the nutrients are.
November 19, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Kids, eat the edges of your Pop-Tarts: that's where the nutrients are.
Don't tell my family, but even if we were made of money, I still wouldn't set the thermostat above 65 in the winter.
November 19, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Don't tell my family, but even if we were made of money, I still wouldn't set the thermostat above 65 in the winter.
The plus side of not having any mega-rich friends is I probably won't be murdered on a yacht.
November 18, 2025 at 12:22 PM
The plus side of not having any mega-rich friends is I probably won't be murdered on a yacht.
Not to brag, but as of tonight I'm 83-1 in wrestling matches vs the residents in my dad's assisted living place.
November 18, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Not to brag, but as of tonight I'm 83-1 in wrestling matches vs the residents in my dad's assisted living place.
If Mein Kampf was written in binary, WWII could have been prevented because only a few nerds would have known what he was talking about, and we all know how well nerds fight.
November 17, 2025 at 12:12 PM
If Mein Kampf was written in binary, WWII could have been prevented because only a few nerds would have known what he was talking about, and we all know how well nerds fight.
There's a huge difference between the house I want to live in and the house I want to pay property taxes on and maintain.
November 17, 2025 at 12:10 PM
There's a huge difference between the house I want to live in and the house I want to pay property taxes on and maintain.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
Be the reason your local independent bookstore stays in business.
November 13, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Be the reason your local independent bookstore stays in business.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
November 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
The pinnacle of douchy foodies are the Gluten Freemasons.
November 15, 2025 at 12:00 PM
The pinnacle of douchy foodies are the Gluten Freemasons.
Before you start pining for the good old simpler times, remember that those times included Sansabelt pants.
November 15, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Before you start pining for the good old simpler times, remember that those times included Sansabelt pants.