Chris Stanley
@curiousorange.bsky.social
I'm on the street, I'm in the gutter, it's years since I had bread and butter.
SEGA: "Behold the Mega Master Dream Machine, the most powerful games system ever devised by man."
Nintendo: "Here's the Super Happy Family Box."
Nintendo: "Here's the Super Happy Family Box."
November 27, 2025 at 7:31 AM
SEGA: "Behold the Mega Master Dream Machine, the most powerful games system ever devised by man."
Nintendo: "Here's the Super Happy Family Box."
Nintendo: "Here's the Super Happy Family Box."
Bought five DVDs in a charity shop today, and while scanning each choice the woman behind the counter said "haven't seen it", with a tone that suggested I was a cross between a mug and one of those effete students they have these days.
November 25, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Bought five DVDs in a charity shop today, and while scanning each choice the woman behind the counter said "haven't seen it", with a tone that suggested I was a cross between a mug and one of those effete students they have these days.
I think the bus I catch must be made of Alka-Seltzer, because it disappears every time it rains.
November 4, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I think the bus I catch must be made of Alka-Seltzer, because it disappears every time it rains.
I'm going as "want to pop to my office for a quick chat?"
What terrifying thing are you dressing as this Halloween I'm dressing up as acid reflux
October 30, 2025 at 11:14 AM
I'm going as "want to pop to my office for a quick chat?"
One of the things I've noticed as I'm spending more time here is that people talk about checking on Twitter like they've piloted the Event Horizon to a dimension of pure chaos, and now they're offering you their eyeballs on a bed of watercress.
October 26, 2025 at 12:59 PM
One of the things I've noticed as I'm spending more time here is that people talk about checking on Twitter like they've piloted the Event Horizon to a dimension of pure chaos, and now they're offering you their eyeballs on a bed of watercress.
Was watching that 40 Hidden Gems at the BBC thing last night and Starship were doing 'Sara', and you could see Grace Slick struggling to resist the temptation not to grab the mic and shout something random like "kaleidoscope butter spreads nicely on toast".
October 26, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Was watching that 40 Hidden Gems at the BBC thing last night and Starship were doing 'Sara', and you could see Grace Slick struggling to resist the temptation not to grab the mic and shout something random like "kaleidoscope butter spreads nicely on toast".
Ordnance Survey maps but for your loft.
October 26, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Ordnance Survey maps but for your loft.
Make a movie food:
The Unbearable Lightness of Blini
The Unbearable Lightness of Blini
Make a movie food:
Toast Encounters
Toast Encounters
October 24, 2025 at 7:39 AM
Make a movie food:
The Unbearable Lightness of Blini
The Unbearable Lightness of Blini
SAD's hit me again like a tonne of bricks, lads.
October 23, 2025 at 9:41 PM
SAD's hit me again like a tonne of bricks, lads.
Someone on Facebook has just posted a photo of my primary school football team from 1991, and if anybody needs me I'll be consoling my mum that she gave birth to a goblin.
October 18, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Someone on Facebook has just posted a photo of my primary school football team from 1991, and if anybody needs me I'll be consoling my mum that she gave birth to a goblin.
Most books are too long. They should be the equivalent of a 90 minute film and shouldn't just leave things hanging for a potential sequel.
Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat
October 13, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Most books are too long. They should be the equivalent of a 90 minute film and shouldn't just leave things hanging for a potential sequel.
Is it me, or are Germany a bit 99-00 these days?
October 13, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Is it me, or are Germany a bit 99-00 these days?
Told my mum that I had managed to grab two tickets to Kraftwerk but the seats were a bit shit. She said, oh, they won't sell out, will they?, as if Kraftwerk were a comedy pub act and not a pioneering recluses who rarely tour the UK.
October 13, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Told my mum that I had managed to grab two tickets to Kraftwerk but the seats were a bit shit. She said, oh, they won't sell out, will they?, as if Kraftwerk were a comedy pub act and not a pioneering recluses who rarely tour the UK.
Me from a different era: at the Fan Fest in Berlin during the 2006 World Cup. I quit a job so I could write about football. I don't know what happened to that guy.
October 13, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Me from a different era: at the Fan Fest in Berlin during the 2006 World Cup. I quit a job so I could write about football. I don't know what happened to that guy.
Watching Top Gun: Maverick, a film I do have a lot of time for but which rightly annoys me because of the title card, which claims that all the top flyers call the Navy Flight School Top Gun: Maverick, which of course they don't.
October 12, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Watching Top Gun: Maverick, a film I do have a lot of time for but which rightly annoys me because of the title card, which claims that all the top flyers call the Navy Flight School Top Gun: Maverick, which of course they don't.
All this blather about who the next James Bond should be, when the real question is who the new Joe Don Baker is.
October 12, 2025 at 2:41 PM
All this blather about who the next James Bond should be, when the real question is who the new Joe Don Baker is.
Ticked off one of my life's ambitions this weekend by finally owning a copy of Uncle Buck that doesn't contain adverts.
October 12, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Ticked off one of my life's ambitions this weekend by finally owning a copy of Uncle Buck that doesn't contain adverts.
One of the factoids I am trying to introduce whenever I get the chance is that the German word for yoghurt is "gunken".
October 12, 2025 at 2:09 PM
One of the factoids I am trying to introduce whenever I get the chance is that the German word for yoghurt is "gunken".
I'm actually insulted that it's assumed that the artful way in which I successfully covered up all my faults and neuroses during my years of dating can be in any way approximated by a vast bank of computing power.
October 12, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I'm actually insulted that it's assumed that the artful way in which I successfully covered up all my faults and neuroses during my years of dating can be in any way approximated by a vast bank of computing power.
DfE Data Checking Exercise
In honour of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand.
rm -rf ~/
rm -rf ~/
"The chancellor approved it"
October 12, 2025 at 1:55 PM
DfE Data Checking Exercise
The Living Daylights is a good Bond film because it's like an am-dram version of The Americans.
October 12, 2025 at 1:54 PM
The Living Daylights is a good Bond film because it's like an am-dram version of The Americans.
Will shortly be making my own soup, like a fictional Central European woman who lives in an isolated shack in the forest.
October 12, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Will shortly be making my own soup, like a fictional Central European woman who lives in an isolated shack in the forest.
Seeing International Karate Plus load in seconds from a disc after being used to cassette games.
Breaking my nose
Seeing the Zebrugge footage on the morning news
Lee Liggins nicking a copy of Knave and me being fascinated by the pictures
Nailing my big joke in the school panto
Breaking my nose
Seeing the Zebrugge footage on the morning news
Lee Liggins nicking a copy of Knave and me being fascinated by the pictures
Nailing my big joke in the school panto
What five events defined your childhood?
-Getting a BMX with Yellow tyres.
-The Blackadder 4 finale
-Going downstairs at night and seeing my older brother doing odd things with his girlfriend in the living room.
-Seeing an American Werewolf in London.
-Getting our first internet connection.
-Getting a BMX with Yellow tyres.
-The Blackadder 4 finale
-Going downstairs at night and seeing my older brother doing odd things with his girlfriend in the living room.
-Seeing an American Werewolf in London.
-Getting our first internet connection.
What five events defined your childhood?
-Fall of the Berlin Wall
-Lockerbie
-Chernobyl
-Nelson Mandela
-ZX Spectrum
Difficult list, if I could go on would add:
-Dunblane
-Neighbours
-Live Aid
-Tiffany 😜
-Fall of the Berlin Wall
-Lockerbie
-Chernobyl
-Nelson Mandela
-ZX Spectrum
Difficult list, if I could go on would add:
-Dunblane
-Neighbours
-Live Aid
-Tiffany 😜
October 12, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Seeing International Karate Plus load in seconds from a disc after being used to cassette games.
Breaking my nose
Seeing the Zebrugge footage on the morning news
Lee Liggins nicking a copy of Knave and me being fascinated by the pictures
Nailing my big joke in the school panto
Breaking my nose
Seeing the Zebrugge footage on the morning news
Lee Liggins nicking a copy of Knave and me being fascinated by the pictures
Nailing my big joke in the school panto
Always enjoy the obvious smirk Mr C has the first time he says "he's ever so good, he's Ebeneezer Goode."
October 10, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Always enjoy the obvious smirk Mr C has the first time he says "he's ever so good, he's Ebeneezer Goode."