Bob Gurnett
@bobgurnett.com
An adult man who still refers to himself as "a nice boy." Brooklyn Comedian. NBA free agent.
Pinned
Bob Gurnett
@bobgurnett.com
· Nov 24
Every conservative on Twitter: "Elon Musk has all these leftists so TRIGGERED they had to go to their safe space on bluesky! You can hear them REEEing from here!"
Everyone on Bluesky: "Jon Bon Jovi's full name is Jonathan Bonathan Jovi."
Everyone on Bluesky: "Jon Bon Jovi's full name is Jonathan Bonathan Jovi."
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
ME: damn. they fucked his shit up.
OTHER LAW & ORDER DETECTIVES: that’s not really the kind of language we like to use in this unit.
OTHER LAW & ORDER DETECTIVES: that’s not really the kind of language we like to use in this unit.
November 25, 2025 at 3:06 AM
ME: damn. they fucked his shit up.
OTHER LAW & ORDER DETECTIVES: that’s not really the kind of language we like to use in this unit.
OTHER LAW & ORDER DETECTIVES: that’s not really the kind of language we like to use in this unit.
RFK about to lose the entire Midwest for the GOP in 2026
Seems like every day some senator who voted to confirm RFK Jr is pissed off at him about something.
November 25, 2025 at 1:14 AM
RFK about to lose the entire Midwest for the GOP in 2026
Dumb people (I include myself here) often think they have found logical gaps in why we do stuff the way we do and then gradually find out there are perfectly good reasons. Be older than 25 and experience back pain once and you'll understand why you spend several grand on a nice mattress.
November 24, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Dumb people (I include myself here) often think they have found logical gaps in why we do stuff the way we do and then gradually find out there are perfectly good reasons. Be older than 25 and experience back pain once and you'll understand why you spend several grand on a nice mattress.
Take that, Joyce Carol Oates. He enjoys things. He enjoys spending billions making his phone says slurs at parties.
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Take that, Joyce Carol Oates. He enjoys things. He enjoys spending billions making his phone says slurs at parties.
Perfect photo
NINE STRAIGHT WINS.
The New England Patriots have their longest win-streak since 2015.
The New England Patriots have their longest win-streak since 2015.
November 23, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Perfect photo
Jesus fucking Christ what is this Alzheimer's ad. I'm just trying to watch football!
November 23, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Jesus fucking Christ what is this Alzheimer's ad. I'm just trying to watch football!
We've been dealing with this guy for over a decade. Flatter him, call him a big strong boy, and he will do whatever you want. He believes in nothing except that people should be required to be nice to him and tell him he's cool.
November 21, 2025 at 9:50 PM
We've been dealing with this guy for over a decade. Flatter him, call him a big strong boy, and he will do whatever you want. He believes in nothing except that people should be required to be nice to him and tell him he's cool.
I don't think we fully appreciate how weird it is that we have government policy often being announced on the president's personal fansite.
The President is self-soothing by sharing his followers’ calls for the violent deaths of members of the opposition party on his blog.
November 20, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I don't think we fully appreciate how weird it is that we have government policy often being announced on the president's personal fansite.
Every person who refers to their personal story as "lore" is like "I grew up middle class in Connecticut and sometimes my dad would have 3 martinis and call my mom a bitch."
November 20, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Every person who refers to their personal story as "lore" is like "I grew up middle class in Connecticut and sometimes my dad would have 3 martinis and call my mom a bitch."
As someone who is really bad at his job, it is refreshing seeing someone be worse at theirs.
Breaking on MS NOW:
The full grand jury never reviewed the indictment it handed up against Comey.
Prosecutors said, instead of presenting a new indictment after the grand jury declined to approve one of the counts, Halligan simply brought an altered version for the grand jury's foreperson to sign.
The full grand jury never reviewed the indictment it handed up against Comey.
Prosecutors said, instead of presenting a new indictment after the grand jury declined to approve one of the counts, Halligan simply brought an altered version for the grand jury's foreperson to sign.
November 19, 2025 at 5:01 PM
As someone who is really bad at his job, it is refreshing seeing someone be worse at theirs.
Everybody got that one homie who is in the epstein file. Look to your left, look to your right, if it isn't them, you're the one in the epstein files!
November 18, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Everybody got that one homie who is in the epstein file. Look to your left, look to your right, if it isn't them, you're the one in the epstein files!
A whole group of Gen Xers desperate for it to be 2008 Reddit again. Just wanna post pwns on /r/atheism and eat some epic ass bacon so bad.
November 18, 2025 at 11:00 PM
A whole group of Gen Xers desperate for it to be 2008 Reddit again. Just wanna post pwns on /r/atheism and eat some epic ass bacon so bad.
The funniest outcome here is the Big Dog still vetoes it for some reason.
Schumer: The Senate has now passed the Epstein bill as soon as it comes over from the House.
November 18, 2025 at 10:36 PM
The funniest outcome here is the Big Dog still vetoes it for some reason.
"Oh you think its bad that I texted and took phone calls from super pedophile Jeffery Epstein? Well what if I told you that people often text and call a different pedophile? Now I don't seem so bad, huh? Oh, I still seem pretty bad? Hold on..." *starts shuffling through notecards, dropping half*
Plaskett: You want to talk about texting felons, how often do you text President Donald J. Trump?
November 18, 2025 at 9:48 PM
"Oh you think its bad that I texted and took phone calls from super pedophile Jeffery Epstein? Well what if I told you that people often text and call a different pedophile? Now I don't seem so bad, huh? Oh, I still seem pretty bad? Hold on..." *starts shuffling through notecards, dropping half*
It has to mean something that suddenly all these dudes are trying to distance themselves. They'll get away with it too.
Ben Shapiro: “When the president said deport all the illegal immigrants, I never thought that he meant that literally”
November 18, 2025 at 7:45 PM
It has to mean something that suddenly all these dudes are trying to distance themselves. They'll get away with it too.
It was not until I moved to NYC that I found out that most of the country doesn't pair their chili with cinnamon rolls. I've been converting these east coast heathens to our Holy Nebraska Ways since.
November 18, 2025 at 7:22 PM
It was not until I moved to NYC that I found out that most of the country doesn't pair their chili with cinnamon rolls. I've been converting these east coast heathens to our Holy Nebraska Ways since.
It is plainly obvious that he thinks it rocks that MBS had a journalist he didn't like cut into little pieces and wishes he could do it too.
Trump suggests Khashoggi had it coming: "You're mentioning someone that was extremely controversial. A lot of people didn't like that gentleman that you're talking about. Whether you like him or didn't like him, things happen. But he knew nothing about it. You don't have to embarrass our guest."
November 18, 2025 at 6:32 PM
It is plainly obvious that he thinks it rocks that MBS had a journalist he didn't like cut into little pieces and wishes he could do it too.
The political donor class is about to get wiped out and they are sweatin'
Mike Johnson expresses concern that requiring the Epstein files to come out "could ruin the reputations of completely innocent people, such as those who may just have known Epstein but knew nothing of his crimes or whose names he exploited and used to try to get close to his intended victims."
November 18, 2025 at 3:40 PM
The political donor class is about to get wiped out and they are sweatin'
Trump picked her because he liked how she looked and she ended up doing a shitty job? Wow. Crazy.
Judge says indictment against former FBI chief James Comey may be tainted due to "profound investigative missteps" by the Justice Department.
https://cnn.it/4oOrBUb
https://cnn.it/4oOrBUb
November 17, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Trump picked her because he liked how she looked and she ended up doing a shitty job? Wow. Crazy.
Have any of these guys ever read a single story and understood it?
Jeff Bezos will be co-CEO of AI startup Project Prometheus
Jeff Bezos will be co-CEO of AI startup Project Prometheus
Jeff Bezos has a new job.
buff.ly
November 17, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Have any of these guys ever read a single story and understood it?
Reposted by Bob Gurnett
women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.
Olivia Nuzzi's 'American Canto': Read the Exclusive Excerpt
She flamed out and she faded away. 'Vanity Fair'’s West Coast Editor returns to the written word to survey scorched earth.
www.vanityfair.com
November 17, 2025 at 3:46 PM
women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.
Whenever there is a glossy profile presenting a scummy weirdo as some misunderstood genius, their writing is always the most tortured dogshit you will ever read. A high schooler's idea of good writing. What a moron thinks a smart person sounds like.
November 17, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Whenever there is a glossy profile presenting a scummy weirdo as some misunderstood genius, their writing is always the most tortured dogshit you will ever read. A high schooler's idea of good writing. What a moron thinks a smart person sounds like.
How many people could possibly have Crohn's that it is worth it to show us this many Skyrizi ads?
November 16, 2025 at 6:30 PM
How many people could possibly have Crohn's that it is worth it to show us this many Skyrizi ads?
What if you made a sport that was only enjoyed by roided up aggro losers? Oh, this is what happens...
Just as the UFC 322 pay-per-view was starting, a brawl broke out near the barricade with dozens of police officers and production staffers trying to calm things down.
🎥 @oskargarcia.bsky.social and @markpuleo.bsky.social
🎥 @oskargarcia.bsky.social and @markpuleo.bsky.social
November 16, 2025 at 4:18 AM
What if you made a sport that was only enjoyed by roided up aggro losers? Oh, this is what happens...
It is crazy that this is controversial. I have never seen a group of animals more miserable and ready to die and I host open mics.
Central Park's iconic horse-drawn carriages will trot on, for now.
A proposal to ban the popular tourist attractions that have been fixtures in Central Park for more than 150 years failed to clear a key New York City Council committee on Friday.
https://cnn.it/3LHYB1A
A proposal to ban the popular tourist attractions that have been fixtures in Central Park for more than 150 years failed to clear a key New York City Council committee on Friday.
https://cnn.it/3LHYB1A
November 15, 2025 at 9:41 PM
It is crazy that this is controversial. I have never seen a group of animals more miserable and ready to die and I host open mics.