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I gave you my Nobel peace prize, please respond
January 16, 2026 at 7:50 AM
I gave you my Nobel peace prize, please respond
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Zillow Adds Segregation Score https://theonion.com/zillow-adds-segregation-score/
January 13, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Zillow Adds Segregation Score https://theonion.com/zillow-adds-segregation-score/
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they think it should be illegal to be rude to them
By the way this press release you’d think the LASD deputy got attacked by a barista. Instead, it’s about someone allegedly drawing a pig on the deputy’s cup.
January 12, 2026 at 4:48 AM
they think it should be illegal to be rude to them
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UNITED STATES: Haha in China they pretend like the Tiananmen Square massacre never happened
ALSO UNITED STATES: Renee Good was a violent extremist who died while attempting to run down government agents
ALSO UNITED STATES: Renee Good was a violent extremist who died while attempting to run down government agents
January 12, 2026 at 8:36 PM
UNITED STATES: Haha in China they pretend like the Tiananmen Square massacre never happened
ALSO UNITED STATES: Renee Good was a violent extremist who died while attempting to run down government agents
ALSO UNITED STATES: Renee Good was a violent extremist who died while attempting to run down government agents
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in baseball, we call this a wheeeeeeeee!
January 11, 2026 at 4:39 AM
in baseball, we call this a wheeeeeeeee!
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On day 8 of our Administration, @governor.ny.gov and I announced the beginning of universal childcare in NYC. No longer will New Yorkers be forced to choose between starting a family and continuing to live in the city they love. This only happened because of you.
January 10, 2026 at 12:59 AM
On day 8 of our Administration, @governor.ny.gov and I announced the beginning of universal childcare in NYC. No longer will New Yorkers be forced to choose between starting a family and continuing to live in the city they love. This only happened because of you.
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you people have my wife watching heated rivalry and now she's going to be mad that I'm not hot or gay
January 8, 2026 at 3:46 AM
you people have my wife watching heated rivalry and now she's going to be mad that I'm not hot or gay
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they've got Raffi calling for regime change. something has shifted.
January 9, 2026 at 6:07 PM
they've got Raffi calling for regime change. something has shifted.
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Just how bad is Grok's nonconsensual porn problem? Musk's AI chatbot is generating another sexualized image of someone without their permission every single minute:
Grok Is Generating About 'One Nonconsensual Sexualized Image Per Minute'
Elon Musk’s chatbot Grok keeps churning out nonconsenual images of women and minors in bikinis and lingerie, outraging users and regulators
www.rollingstone.com
January 6, 2026 at 10:43 PM
Just how bad is Grok's nonconsensual porn problem? Musk's AI chatbot is generating another sexualized image of someone without their permission every single minute:
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Venezuela was a test.
The world failed.
The world failed.
January 4, 2026 at 7:24 AM
Venezuela was a test.
The world failed.
The world failed.
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Obsessed with this juxtaposition
January 2, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Obsessed with this juxtaposition
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Men doing this whole “I will vanquish continents for my children” LARP is so goofy in the context of household surveys. It’s nice you’ll kill millions for your daughter, maybe we can start at doing a load of laundry for your wife who does the vast majority of household labor?
December 30, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Men doing this whole “I will vanquish continents for my children” LARP is so goofy in the context of household surveys. It’s nice you’ll kill millions for your daughter, maybe we can start at doing a load of laundry for your wife who does the vast majority of household labor?
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very convenient that the rich ruling class techbros solution to income and wealth inequality will be solved by letting them accumulate even more wealth
December 29, 2025 at 3:29 AM
very convenient that the rich ruling class techbros solution to income and wealth inequality will be solved by letting them accumulate even more wealth
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Ebi making sure she's first in line for some delectable scrampled egg and prawn crackers. Always good to have an extra food delivery hole chewed into the hammock for those left in her wake
December 27, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Ebi making sure she's first in line for some delectable scrampled egg and prawn crackers. Always good to have an extra food delivery hole chewed into the hammock for those left in her wake
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bluesky is where elder millennials enjoying internet retirement meet younger millennials with untreated depression
December 28, 2025 at 1:54 AM
bluesky is where elder millennials enjoying internet retirement meet younger millennials with untreated depression
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avatar 6: sugar and spice
December 27, 2025 at 3:48 AM
avatar 6: sugar and spice
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The first paragraph of Judge Breyer‘s opinion granting an injunction in the California National Guard case is a banger.
December 10, 2025 at 3:30 PM
The first paragraph of Judge Breyer‘s opinion granting an injunction in the California National Guard case is a banger.
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Jimmy Fallon would host the Hunger Games.
December 9, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Jimmy Fallon would host the Hunger Games.
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Sabrina Carpenter made the White House delete their fuck ass tweet.
December 5, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Sabrina Carpenter made the White House delete their fuck ass tweet.
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Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
BOSTON—Stressing that the move would help keep digital currencies liquid through the coming year, crypto leaders called for an infusion of 20 million dopes Thursday to stabilize the market. “We’re cal...
theonion.com
December 1, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Crypto Leaders Call For Infusion Of 20 Million Dopes To Stabilize Market
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miso soup you are so pretty I love you miso soup
November 22, 2025 at 12:17 AM
miso soup you are so pretty I love you miso soup
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We’re one day closer to Trump leaving office (one way or another).
November 28, 2025 at 12:17 PM
We’re one day closer to Trump leaving office (one way or another).
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