Alaina Patterson
@willbefunorelse.bsky.social
Geriatric millenial, bird app survivor, and Cat Donaghy's mom.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Sure, it takes skill to deliver the most self-defeating sound byte imaginable on national TV mere moments after needlessly surrendering on the vital political conflict of our moment, but for the sound byte to be factually wrong as well? That's when you know you're in the presence of a true great
November 10, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Sure, it takes skill to deliver the most self-defeating sound byte imaginable on national TV mere moments after needlessly surrendering on the vital political conflict of our moment, but for the sound byte to be factually wrong as well? That's when you know you're in the presence of a true great
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
The Dem base wants the shutdown to continue because it’s the only time we’ve felt like our electeds were representing us: trying to squeeze the GOP instead of squeezing us to accept concessions; directing their anger at the Republicans instead of at their own voters for wanting them to resist
November 10, 2025 at 4:12 AM
The Dem base wants the shutdown to continue because it’s the only time we’ve felt like our electeds were representing us: trying to squeeze the GOP instead of squeezing us to accept concessions; directing their anger at the Republicans instead of at their own voters for wanting them to resist
Goddamn, today makes it hard to be a Mainer
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
November 10, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Goddamn, today makes it hard to be a Mainer
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
One Senator is Always Concerned
The other Senator is an Independent who's scared of having a backbone
And my local progressives are still supporting The Guy With The Nazi Tattoo to replace the Concerned One.
Abolish the Senate is my modest position.
How would you fucking know? You didn't fucking TRY.
November 10, 2025 at 2:52 PM
How would you fucking know? You didn't fucking TRY.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
November 10, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
you ever want to just get a bunch of friends together, get a little crazy, and abolish the senate
November 10, 2025 at 2:40 AM
you ever want to just get a bunch of friends together, get a little crazy, and abolish the senate
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Any Democrat voting for this should be primaried as quickly as possible because they're stupid, aren't capable of recognizing they're winning, are incapable of representing their constituents, and are cowards not up to this era's challenges.
Senate Democrats asked for a year of ACA subsidies and were told to fuck off.
So they came back and asked for a pinky promise to hold a vote on ACA subsidies that they will assuredly lose?
Seriously?
So they came back and asked for a pinky promise to hold a vote on ACA subsidies that they will assuredly lose?
Seriously?
From what I have seen so far this does not seem like a good deal:
November 9, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Any Democrat voting for this should be primaried as quickly as possible because they're stupid, aren't capable of recognizing they're winning, are incapable of representing their constituents, and are cowards not up to this era's challenges.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Why does the House, the larger of the two legislative bodies, not simply eat the Senate
November 9, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Why does the House, the larger of the two legislative bodies, not simply eat the Senate
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
what did Rob Manfred think was going to happen when he encouraged MLB to embrace gambling as a revenue stream?
November 9, 2025 at 6:38 PM
what did Rob Manfred think was going to happen when he encouraged MLB to embrace gambling as a revenue stream?
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
I can’t wait for the day I wake up and it’s finally the funniest day on the internet
November 9, 2025 at 3:12 PM
I can’t wait for the day I wake up and it’s finally the funniest day on the internet
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Congratulations you have invented a worse version of the 2000s Walmart that liberals specifically flocked to Target to avoid.
"Store employees are now required to smile if they are within 10 feet of a shopper.
They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."
🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.
They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.
If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."
🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.
Target is now requiring its employees to smile more
As the holiday season fast approaches, Target is urging its employees to add a little more “jolly” to their work routine.
www.wilx.com
November 8, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Congratulations you have invented a worse version of the 2000s Walmart that liberals specifically flocked to Target to avoid.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
That’s funny, I’ve never seen anyone steal food.
Doubt I ever will.
Doubt I ever will.
November 7, 2025 at 5:36 PM
That’s funny, I’ve never seen anyone steal food.
Doubt I ever will.
Doubt I ever will.
Okay, I need to go to bed, but i just watched the first episode of Pluribus and I'm afraid it's going to become my next TV obsession.
November 7, 2025 at 3:22 AM
Okay, I need to go to bed, but i just watched the first episode of Pluribus and I'm afraid it's going to become my next TV obsession.
Wait. Fuck, i missed that they're actually calling themselves the Problem Solvers Caucus?
THIS Problem Solvers Caucus??
THIS Problem Solvers Caucus??
November 6, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Wait. Fuck, i missed that they're actually calling themselves the Problem Solvers Caucus?
THIS Problem Solvers Caucus??
THIS Problem Solvers Caucus??
This is so fucking stupid on so many goddamn levels.
This motherfucker announces his retirement and then proceeds to waste everyone's goddamned time twice as much and twice as badly as before?
Fuck aaallll the way off.
This motherfucker announces his retirement and then proceeds to waste everyone's goddamned time twice as much and twice as badly as before?
Fuck aaallll the way off.
November 6, 2025 at 9:30 PM
This is so fucking stupid on so many goddamn levels.
This motherfucker announces his retirement and then proceeds to waste everyone's goddamned time twice as much and twice as badly as before?
Fuck aaallll the way off.
This motherfucker announces his retirement and then proceeds to waste everyone's goddamned time twice as much and twice as badly as before?
Fuck aaallll the way off.
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Let it unleash a thousand memes.
I call this one: "Donald Trump stands idly by while the American economy passes out in a corner."
I call this one: "Donald Trump stands idly by while the American economy passes out in a corner."
November 6, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Let it unleash a thousand memes.
I call this one: "Donald Trump stands idly by while the American economy passes out in a corner."
I call this one: "Donald Trump stands idly by while the American economy passes out in a corner."
I'm working from home today and was so excited - got to sleep in a little bit, I can do all the laundry in between meetings, make my own coffee -
Woke up at the normal time, and plugged in the coffee pot but never turned it on. Good start to today. 🤦♀️
Woke up at the normal time, and plugged in the coffee pot but never turned it on. Good start to today. 🤦♀️
November 6, 2025 at 12:27 PM
I'm working from home today and was so excited - got to sleep in a little bit, I can do all the laundry in between meetings, make my own coffee -
Woke up at the normal time, and plugged in the coffee pot but never turned it on. Good start to today. 🤦♀️
Woke up at the normal time, and plugged in the coffee pot but never turned it on. Good start to today. 🤦♀️
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
we are changing the mario cuomo bridge back to the tappan zee
November 5, 2025 at 8:14 PM
we are changing the mario cuomo bridge back to the tappan zee
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
i think what ive learned between '24 and last night is that people dont really give a shit about socialist or fascist labels, if you promise to do things that will help them they will vote for you and if you dont deliver they will vote for the other side
November 5, 2025 at 7:13 PM
i think what ive learned between '24 and last night is that people dont really give a shit about socialist or fascist labels, if you promise to do things that will help them they will vote for you and if you dont deliver they will vote for the other side
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
$100 to whomever in that courtroom reads the verdict as “IVE GOT A NOT GUILTY READY FOR PICK UP!”
The sandwich guy jury has begun to deliber-ATE
sorry not sorry
sorry not sorry
“This case, ladies and gentleman of the jury, is about a sandwich.”
Closing arguments from the defense in the DC sandwich guy case are now underway.
Closing arguments from the defense in the DC sandwich guy case are now underway.
November 5, 2025 at 8:27 PM
$100 to whomever in that courtroom reads the verdict as “IVE GOT A NOT GUILTY READY FOR PICK UP!”
Reposted by Alaina Patterson
Every race. It’s basically been every race.
Governors. Mayors. Long-held GOP dog-catchers. School boards. Water boards. Flipped a dungeon master in a rural Iowa D&D club. State senators. State reps. A janitor in Duluth. State justices. Three GOP Uber drivers.
Just everything.
Governors. Mayors. Long-held GOP dog-catchers. School boards. Water boards. Flipped a dungeon master in a rural Iowa D&D club. State senators. State reps. A janitor in Duluth. State justices. Three GOP Uber drivers.
Just everything.
November 5, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Every race. It’s basically been every race.
Governors. Mayors. Long-held GOP dog-catchers. School boards. Water boards. Flipped a dungeon master in a rural Iowa D&D club. State senators. State reps. A janitor in Duluth. State justices. Three GOP Uber drivers.
Just everything.
Governors. Mayors. Long-held GOP dog-catchers. School boards. Water boards. Flipped a dungeon master in a rural Iowa D&D club. State senators. State reps. A janitor in Duluth. State justices. Three GOP Uber drivers.
Just everything.