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This Machine Kills Hair Bands

@she5los.bsky.social

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This Machine Kills Hair Bands @she5los.bsky.social · Sep 2

Soup season! I'm going to start a pinned thread of Soup Tips and recipes.

Grandma's Good Hot Soup:
-1 can French onion soup
-1 russet potato
-baby spinach
-cheese

Dice the potato (1/2 inch). Add to a pot with French onion soup. When potato is soft, add baby spinach. Garnish with cheese.

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Kayin @kayin.moe · 1d

I'm so mad that this was actually just Saruman what the fuck this was supposed to be an off-brand wizard

Arif Hasan, but NFL🔨⚒️🛠️ @arif.bsky.social · 1d

I FOUND THE BOOK WITH THE ORB

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This Machine Kills Hair Bands @she5los.bsky.social · 9h

The sad thing about the goblin sandwiches is that I would 100% try them on, like, some sourdough, or a croissant. Weirdly large amount of nuts compared to the other fillings, but you can always change the proportions.

But DONUTS??????

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Doug Mack @douglasmack.bsky.social · 9h

Yeah, this is a lot to process

(And the post is excellent)

GOBLIN SANDWICHES

18 tested quality donuts

1 small can deviled ham

1 cup Brazil nuts

1 avocado pear

Worcestershire sauce

Toast the shelled Brazil Nuts in a moderate oven about 15 min., then roll fine with rolling pin. Add the deviled ham and the pulp of the avocado pear. Season highly with the Worcestershire Sauce. Split the donuts through the center, spread lower half with the filling; cover with second half. (SERVES 6 TO 8.) sin

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Wren @cyaneus.bsky.social · 12h

Finished my #fish #painting for a show this Saturday

Painting of spawning sockeye salmon crammed together and looking distressed

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Liz Shannon Miller @lizshannonmiller.com · 2d

friend shared this, immediately updated my settings

$Screenshot of text: unfuck google drive by shooting gemini Hey folks! Google is fucking you via sneaky enshittification again! Want the shit in your google drive to load instantly again, instead of taking for-fucking-ever? Open your gdrive (web OR app) Settings > Manage Apps Gemini was checked "use as default" (and i sure the fuck didn't set it that way, this was a silent push) Nuke that, and suddenly, folders that took up to a minute to populate and sort do so in a fraction of a second.$

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wwxwashere.bsky.social @wwxwashere.bsky.social · 16h

the classic pain mullet made me chuckle 😂

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アサ🦤 @asacmdr.bsky.social · 16h

🦤🦤🦤💨
#おはドド

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ROWAN @rowanclair.bsky.social · 18h

I’ve started a small project for autumn - choosing a few seasonal things as subjects to explore and celebrate as I try out some different techniques without feeling like anything needs to be perfect. I’ll be posting what I’ve made over the next few weeks, I hope you’ll enjoy seeing it 🍂🧡

A digital illustration of birch trees in autumn with bright orange and yellow leaves falling against a blue sky, with dark blue conifers in the background.

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Emily @emilyonhere.gay · 21h

“what radicalized you” idk paying attention

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smiles @ariamisu.bsky.social · 19h

ITS APPLE SEASON 🍏 #appletun #pokemon

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Erin @moonshoterin.bsky.social · 1d

I didn't come out of the closet, I eacaped containment

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Jo Miles @jomiles.bsky.social · 1d

The Luddites weren't anti-progress. They weren't anti-technology. They were pro worker rights. And it's convenient for the tech barons (in any age) to make us believe those are the same thing.

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Ren's Art @jewishanime.bsky.social · 1d

was thinking about the new air ride game and then wires got a little crossed

#gundam #gqux #kirby

top: a drawing of a red kirby wearing char aznable's signature helmet

bottom: drawing a green haro flapping its ears and saying "poyo! poyo!" while kirby looks at it in mild confusion, asking, "poyo?"

drawing of challia bull from gundam gquuuuuux. kirby is sitting on his shoulder and cheerfully saying "poyo!". challia laughs and responds, "Is that right?" (he's a newtype, so naturally he can understand what kirby says)

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Part Bear, part Fish, all Pie @bearfishpie.bsky.social · 1d

Happy birthday Cow Tools! Here’s Gary Larson explaining how it made him “want to crawl into a hole somewhere and die”

A page from Prehistory of the Far Side, explaining the reception to the strip. Copy/paste to the rescue:

The "Cow tools" episode is one that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.
A week after it was published
back in 1982, I wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and die.
Cows, as some Far Side readers know, are a favorite subject of mine. quintessentially absurd animal for I've always found them to be the situations even more absurd. Even the name "cow," to me, is intrinsically funny.
And so one day I started thinking back on an anthropology course I had in college and how we learned that man used to be defined as "the only animal that made and shaped
tools."
Unfortunately, researchers discovered that certain primates and even some bird species did the same thing—so the definition had to be extended somewhat
to avoid awkward situations such as someone hiring a crew of chimpanzees to remodel their kitchen.
Inevitably, I began thinking about cows, and what if they, too, were discovered as toolmakers.
What would they make? Primitive tools are always, well,
primitive-looking-appearing rather nondescript to the lay person. So, it seemed to me, whatever a cow would make would have to be even a couple notches further down the "skill-o-meter."
I imagined, and subsequently drew, a cow standing next to her workbench, proudly displaying her handiwork (hoofiwork?). The "cow tools" were supposed to be just meaningless artifacts- only the cow or a cowthropologist is supposed to know what they're used for.
The first mistake I made was in thinking this was funny. The second was making one of the tools resemble a crude handsaw-which made already confused people decide that their only hope in understanding the cartoon meant deciphering what the other tools were as well. Of course, they didn't have a chance in hell.
But, for the first time, "Cow tools" awakened me to the fact that my profession was not fust an isolated exercise in the corner of my apartment.

at
"Cow tools." Someone sent me the front page of one newspaper
3 B14.)" T was mortified.
which, down in one comer, ran the tease, "Cow Tools: What does it mean? See In the first year or two of drawing The Far Side, I always believed my carter perpetually hung by a thread. And this time I was convinced it had been finally
severed.
Tenically, when the dust had finally seuled and as a result of aft
"aise" it made,
"Cow tools" became more of a boost to The Far Side than
ayahing else.
so, in summary. I drew a really weird, obtuse cartoon that no one understood edwasn't funny and therefore I went on to even greater success and recognition.
Yeah—T like this country.
"The Far Side, a single-panel cartoon by Gary Larson, obviously went too far to the side some time af0 and threw great chunks of the populace into panalto confusion." - Newspaper Columnist, Chicago
"Tasxed 37 people to explain the 'Cow tools' (cartoon) of last weok but with
D0 luck. Could you help?* -Reader, Califomia
"Enclosed is a copy of the 'Cow Tools' cartoon. I have passed it around. I bave posted it on the wall. Conservatively, some 40-odd professionals with detoral degrees in disparate disciplines have examined it. No one understands it. Even my 6-year-old cannot figure it out...We are going bonkers.
Please help. What is the meaning of 'Cow Tools'? What is the
meaning of life?
-Reader, Texas
'We give up. Being intelligent, hard-working men, we don't often say this, but your cartoon has proven to be beyond any of our intellectual capabilities.
•..Is there some significance to this cartoon that eludes us, or have we been completely foolish in our attempts to unravel the mystery behind 'Cow Tools'?" -Reader, California

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This Machine Kills Hair Bands @she5los.bsky.social · 1d

It does make sense, though! The likelihood of a spider under the box is: TOO DAMN HIGH!!!!

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Ruth Adar @rruth.bsky.social · 1d

Now is a very good time to contribute whatever you can to your local food bank. Don't know who they are? Get info from Feeding America www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-lo...
Or you can contribute to Feeding America.

Find Your Local Food Bank | Feeding America

Find the Feeding America member food bank nearest you. Over 200 member food banks can connect you with free food, food pantries, soup kitchens, and mobile pantries in your community.

www.feedingamerica.org

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🌸 // ꌗ꓄ꋬꉧ // 🌸 @staxdeadempress.bsky.social · 1d

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Balatro @playbalatro.com · 1d

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This Machine Kills Hair Bands @she5los.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah, literally the last time I was in a cab, it was my friend, her roommate, and me going home from a lesbian bar. I'm pretty introverted, but three people isn't a lot! Even my high school friend group, that was in each other's pockets all the time, had four people! So one car could take us places!

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alpha @omarsbigsister.bsky.social · 1d

there is a $6 billion reserve for SNAP and the GOP is refusing to give it to states

there is a $6 billion reserve for SNAP and the GOP is refusing to give it to states

there is a $6 billion reserve for SNAP and the GOP is refusing to give it to states

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Art by Emily K @museum.of.emilyk.art · 4d

"Tzefardea Tzedek" (Frog of Righteousness)

As soon as the Portland Frog became a meme, Jewish social media blew up with jokes about the 2nd Passover plague - tzefarde'a (frogs) - and the Rabbinical commentary around it. I knew I had to make a calligraphy piece encompassing all of it. (more in alt.)

Hebrew calligraphy in dark green stretches in lines across the image. Negative space makes room for a simple representation of an inflatable frog costume with a blue bandana. That shape consists of the English translation of the Hebrew, in a lighter green, and in much smaller text.
--
Famously, the Egyptian tyrant causes Egypt to be overrun with frogs because he refuses to free the Hebrew people, but there are additional details that make this a fun one to ponder. For one, the Hebrew says "the frog came up" - ONE frog - even though the rest of the time it says "frogs." So there are a few explanations rabbis have come up with to explain this. One is that a single frog multiplied to create swarms. A more creative explanation is that there was a singular giant frog who traveled and brought destruction. Jewish social media was sharing videos of the Portland Frog protester with the caption, "One Big Frog! One Big Frog!" Of course the frog protesters did multiply, and many were seen in crowds all over the world on "No Kings" Day. This calligraphic work takes the verses addressing the frog plague and combines them to form a simple rendering of the Portland Frog protester. The frog figure itself is made up of the English translations of the Hebrew around it. At the bottom left my signature is in the shape of a lily pad.

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Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 1d

Rep. Rosa DeLauro: "On the food stamp issue, the money is there! Let them not get away with saying they can't do it. Their political will isn't there to feed the people who rely on the SNAP program which is the most effective anti-hunger program in the USA."

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Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett @crockett.house.gov · 1d

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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 1d

Ok in fairness to the media, "Man has extremely normal life experience, yet wants to become mayor of New York City, a job fit only for madmen and sex offenders" kinda is a story

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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 1d

Perspective

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