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River Scott

@riverscott.bsky.social

250 followers 190 following 250 posts

Award-winning queer writer, podcaster, 'comedian', tart Olympic-level flirt GET YOUR TICKETS TO MY LIVE SHOWS! https://linktr.ee/riverscott Manchester & London

linktr.ee

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 2d

Quote this with a selfie if you're Gay Dead (single and over 30)
I have several issues with that sentence, but hey:

Reposted by River Scott

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 12d

MANCHESTER! Join me for stories about getting seduced by a twink.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Find out on Wednesday, just off Canal St!

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Reposted by River Scott

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 11d

My show contains a quick explainer on how to take good 🍆 pics.
You laugh, you learn stuff, i get to wear a pretty dress and swear like a sailor. Everyone's happy!
Join me, won't you?

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 11d

My show contains a quick explainer on how to take good 🍆 pics.
You laugh, you learn stuff, i get to wear a pretty dress and swear like a sailor. Everyone's happy!
Join me, won't you?

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 12d

MANCHESTER! Join me for stories about getting seduced by a twink.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Find out on Wednesday, just off Canal St!

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 18d

Manchester! I'm doing my standup show in a couple of weeks and I'd love it if you could come and laugh at ny nob jokes and filthy stories about being an ageing tart.

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 20d

Yay! Pls bring several hundred friends 😝

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 20d

Hi! So sorry - it's on the 8th. Apologies for the fucking around - the venue had to reorganise me and it got a bit silly.
I hope you can still make it!

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 25d

Embrace your cringe, destroy the part of you that cringes

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · 27d

😱 TAKE ME WITH YOU, PLEASE

Reposted by River Scott

Jessie Gender @jessiegender.bsky.social · Sep 10

Matt Berry and Simon Pegg in particular fucking hurt…. Uggg. Hope they love their blood money.

Emma Evans @trance.bsky.social · Sep 10

Fuck them all.

Kit Harington as Professor Lockhart, Keira Knightley as Professor Umbridge, Iwan Rheon as Professor Lupin, Ruth Wilson as Bellatrix Lestrange, Ambika Mod as Nymphadora Tonks, Leo Woodall as Bill Weasley, Simon Pegg as Arthur Weasley, James McAvoy as Mad-Eye Moody, Gemma Whelan as Professor Sprout, and Matt Berry as Sir Cadogan
Pottermore Publishing/Audible

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Sep 8

a woman in a purple robe is standing in front of a microwave in a kitchen .

ALT: a woman in a purple robe is standing in front of a microwave in a kitchen .

media.tenor.com

Reposted by River Scott

Lilly ⭐️ @mothcub.bsky.social · Sep 4

Iconic moment at the Downton Abbey premiere

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Reposted by River Scott

The Last Matthew on the Left @madaram.bsky.social · Aug 30

Anyone who posts pictures with a hotter friend on a dating profile is an idiot, any gay who references Harry Potter on their dating profile is a transphobe.

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Reposted by River Scott

Poltergeist Halloweezou 🎃 @polisloizou.bsky.social · Aug 29

Just remembering the time he was clearly off his face in Parliament, no reason.

EuropeanPowell @europeanpowell.bsky.social · Aug 29

This is real

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Aug 28

Yes please. Count me in.

Reposted by River Scott

Scares Erman 👻 🎃 🐾 📷 🌿 🎨 @pegerman.bsky.social · Aug 28

I'm ded 💀 😂 😂 😂

Screen shot of Neil Fish posting "your dad shouts at hotels" is an insult the kids at my nephew's school use on each other.

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Aug 27

Reposted by River Scott

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Aug 23

🤗

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Aug 23

🤗

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Reposted by River Scott

Nat Guest @unfortunatalie.bsky.social · Aug 21

We've all been there, Jill.

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Aug 22

😍😁

Reposted by River Scott

River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Aug 20

TONIGHT! EAST LONDON! Stories of queer strumpetry, ageing joyfully, and generally growing old without growing up.
There's still a few tickets left so come on down to Love Affair Basement on Hackney Road and enjoy some quality nob jokes!

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River Scott @riverscott.bsky.social · Aug 20

... And then thebasshole in question releases a whiny statement about all opinions being valid, signing off with 'this is all i have to say on the matter' AND THEN doing a big sulk about the whole thing and how he's been cancelled for a feature in the Torygraph. 🙄

Reposted by River Scott

Rebecka är ingen rörhöna 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️♾🌱 @rebecka.co.uk · Aug 20

When the church reverses it beeps like a delivery van, just in case anyone forgets to pay attention to the direction of 1,252 tonnes of church and machinery.

See from behind the foundations, the church is reversing to turn around and move towards.

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