Lore Sjöberg
@loresjoberg.bsky.social
Always a rake; never a cad.
Humor: badgods.com
Writing: dogsandsorcerers.com
My Books: https://mybook.to/booksoflore
Patreon: patreon.com/loresjoberg
Humor: badgods.com
Writing: dogsandsorcerers.com
My Books: https://mybook.to/booksoflore
Patreon: patreon.com/loresjoberg
I want to point out here that the Amazon search that resulted in this thumbnail being presented to me contained neither the word “coffee” nor “enema.”
December 15, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I want to point out here that the Amazon search that resulted in this thumbnail being presented to me contained neither the word “coffee” nor “enema.”
Okay, I’m calling it. The AI crash time bomb is officially ticking. I’m gonna say two years, give or take six months.
My estimate is based on the time between my quitting Netscape in 1998 because my options vested and I didn’t expect them to get much higher, and the Dotcom Crash of March 2000.
My estimate is based on the time between my quitting Netscape in 1998 because my options vested and I didn’t expect them to get much higher, and the Dotcom Crash of March 2000.
I guess it's fitting that it's a reimagined, worse version of someone else's artwork
December 12, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Okay, I’m calling it. The AI crash time bomb is officially ticking. I’m gonna say two years, give or take six months.
My estimate is based on the time between my quitting Netscape in 1998 because my options vested and I didn’t expect them to get much higher, and the Dotcom Crash of March 2000.
My estimate is based on the time between my quitting Netscape in 1998 because my options vested and I didn’t expect them to get much higher, and the Dotcom Crash of March 2000.
It feels like the right point in the month to post my Christmas playlist again:
open.spotify.com/playlist/6Kf...
open.spotify.com/playlist/6Kf...
Bummer of a Christmas, Hal
open.spotify.com
December 12, 2025 at 3:59 PM
It feels like the right point in the month to post my Christmas playlist again:
open.spotify.com/playlist/6Kf...
open.spotify.com/playlist/6Kf...
The phrase “I left her for a stripper, she left me for dead,” popped into my mind so I guess I have to write a country song now?
December 12, 2025 at 11:05 AM
The phrase “I left her for a stripper, she left me for dead,” popped into my mind so I guess I have to write a country song now?
In my heart, this is how I have always pictured Dave Neilsen.
December 12, 2025 at 3:02 AM
In my heart, this is how I have always pictured Dave Neilsen.
I think that if I had read this headline in 1992 I would have gone mad, Necronomicon-style.
December 10, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I think that if I had read this headline in 1992 I would have gone mad, Necronomicon-style.
One of my “fight me” opinions is that West End Games’ “Ghostbusters” is the most well-designed TTRPG of all time.
December 10, 2025 at 6:01 PM
One of my “fight me” opinions is that West End Games’ “Ghostbusters” is the most well-designed TTRPG of all time.
In this case, nothing in particular. If there was bacon grease spatter in the custard, it wasn’t enough to be detectable.
I will say though that making Bird’s Custard with a mix of milk and cream, and a mix of white and brown sugar really gives it some new shoes.
I will say though that making Bird’s Custard with a mix of milk and cream, and a mix of white and brown sugar really gives it some new shoes.
And the public will demand a report on the final result.
December 10, 2025 at 5:24 PM
In this case, nothing in particular. If there was bacon grease spatter in the custard, it wasn’t enough to be detectable.
I will say though that making Bird’s Custard with a mix of milk and cream, and a mix of white and brown sugar really gives it some new shoes.
I will say though that making Bird’s Custard with a mix of milk and cream, and a mix of white and brown sugar really gives it some new shoes.
"Blasting bird missiles at the turtle monster" is my new euphemism for buttsex.
December 10, 2025 at 3:46 PM
"Blasting bird missiles at the turtle monster" is my new euphemism for buttsex.
Wake Up Dead Man is fully worthy of its lineage, but more importantly I absolutely need to know what trench coat Craig wore in it. Not some shop supposedly selling “benoit blanc trench coat wake up dead man,” I’m talking make model and year.
December 10, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Wake Up Dead Man is fully worthy of its lineage, but more importantly I absolutely need to know what trench coat Craig wore in it. Not some shop supposedly selling “benoit blanc trench coat wake up dead man,” I’m talking make model and year.
Me: If we simultaneously make Bird’s custard in one pot while frying bacon in an adjacent pan, some bacon fat might get in the custard.
Me: And?
Me:…okay, let’s do this.
Me: And?
Me:…okay, let’s do this.
December 10, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Me: If we simultaneously make Bird’s custard in one pot while frying bacon in an adjacent pan, some bacon fat might get in the custard.
Me: And?
Me:…okay, let’s do this.
Me: And?
Me:…okay, let’s do this.
I think it’s time we had another perspective-altering discovery about the dinosaurs. My vote is “tiny mammals would ride on them and eat parasites the way modern birds ride in rhinos.” Go discover that, scientists!
December 9, 2025 at 6:30 PM
I think it’s time we had another perspective-altering discovery about the dinosaurs. My vote is “tiny mammals would ride on them and eat parasites the way modern birds ride in rhinos.” Go discover that, scientists!
Reposted by Lore Sjöberg
I don't know why people are surprised Elvis got fat. He SAID he wanted to be your teddy bear! Head out to Build-a-Bear then come back and tell me how many yoked stuffies you saw.
December 9, 2025 at 12:22 AM
I don't know why people are surprised Elvis got fat. He SAID he wanted to be your teddy bear! Head out to Build-a-Bear then come back and tell me how many yoked stuffies you saw.
You will be visited by three spirits
December 9, 2025 at 7:39 AM
You will be visited by three spirits
Reposted by Lore Sjöberg
Hunka hunka, not slicea slicea.
December 9, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Hunka hunka, not slicea slicea.
I don't know why people are surprised Elvis got fat. He SAID he wanted to be your teddy bear! Head out to Build-a-Bear then come back and tell me how many yoked stuffies you saw.
December 9, 2025 at 12:22 AM
I don't know why people are surprised Elvis got fat. He SAID he wanted to be your teddy bear! Head out to Build-a-Bear then come back and tell me how many yoked stuffies you saw.
I just ran into the term "reverse footjob." I'm not sure what that means, but after considering the possibilities I've decided it's when a woman uses her feet to make a man suck up semen into his penis.
December 8, 2025 at 9:21 PM
I just ran into the term "reverse footjob." I'm not sure what that means, but after considering the possibilities I've decided it's when a woman uses her feet to make a man suck up semen into his penis.
This is tough. I'd say Nolan's Batman, but I'm not sure if we're counting all Batman movies, or sticking with connected continuities. I'm also only counting franchises with at least three entries.
The Muppets are so close. I'd say Muppets from Space is the only bad Muppet film of the ten.
The Muppets are so close. I'd say Muppets from Space is the only bad Muppet film of the ten.
Movie franchises where every movie is good:
Mad Max
John Wick
Knives Out
Lone Wolf and Cub
Mad Max
John Wick
Knives Out
Lone Wolf and Cub
December 8, 2025 at 4:45 PM
This is tough. I'd say Nolan's Batman, but I'm not sure if we're counting all Batman movies, or sticking with connected continuities. I'm also only counting franchises with at least three entries.
The Muppets are so close. I'd say Muppets from Space is the only bad Muppet film of the ten.
The Muppets are so close. I'd say Muppets from Space is the only bad Muppet film of the ten.
If there was a hit TV series called “How to Perform the Heimlich Maneuver,” choking deaths would double because the first two pages of Google’s results would be about the show.
December 8, 2025 at 2:40 AM
If there was a hit TV series called “How to Perform the Heimlich Maneuver,” choking deaths would double because the first two pages of Google’s results would be about the show.
When I go to Denny’s I always order the Ultimate Omelette because then nobody else can have one.
December 7, 2025 at 5:40 AM
When I go to Denny’s I always order the Ultimate Omelette because then nobody else can have one.
Spelling aside, I’m pretty sure I originally come from a timeline where nobody would utter “Berenstain Bears” and “Extreme Sports” in the same breath.
December 7, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Spelling aside, I’m pretty sure I originally come from a timeline where nobody would utter “Berenstain Bears” and “Extreme Sports” in the same breath.
I’m glad to hear that Spain and I are making similar bad decisions.
in spain they call this a kalimotxo and imo the worse quality wine and soda you make it with, the better it is. it's witchcraft.
December 7, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I’m glad to hear that Spain and I are making similar bad decisions.
I combined cheap boxed red wine with Big K Zero Calorie Cola and I am incredibly disquieted by how much I like it.
December 7, 2025 at 12:47 AM
I combined cheap boxed red wine with Big K Zero Calorie Cola and I am incredibly disquieted by how much I like it.