Bethany Black
@bethanyblack.bsky.social
Your favourite comedian’s least favourite comedian. Buy my live stand-up special at www.gofasterstripe.com/bet
Pinned
Another reminder: I have it set so people I don’t follow can’t reply for a very good reason right now. I’m in autistic burnout and interactions are very difficult for me. Anyone circumventing that because they really feel I need to read their opinion on something I posted will be blocked immediately
Reposted by Bethany Black
If you have someone you like who would like me or someone you hate and think would hate me, a perfect Xmas/Hannukah/Kwanza present is my live show “Always Bet On Beth” which you can buy for a TENNER over at Go Faster Stripe gofasterstripe.com/bet the more of you who buy it the less I’ll repost this
Go Faster Stripe
gofasterstripe.com
December 5, 2025 at 3:20 PM
If you have someone you like who would like me or someone you hate and think would hate me, a perfect Xmas/Hannukah/Kwanza present is my live show “Always Bet On Beth” which you can buy for a TENNER over at Go Faster Stripe gofasterstripe.com/bet the more of you who buy it the less I’ll repost this
Blackpool, I just did my bit about painting England flags on roundabouts and their collective arseholes clenched as a waft of “what’s wrong with that?” Drifted to the stage.
December 5, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Blackpool, I just did my bit about painting England flags on roundabouts and their collective arseholes clenched as a waft of “what’s wrong with that?” Drifted to the stage.
Reposted by Bethany Black
my wonderful fiancé is slated for top surgery next month and we need help making it happen! if you’re not in a position to donate, sharing this fundraiser is also greatly appreciated 🥹💚
www.gofundme.com/f/help-tess-...
www.gofundme.com/f/help-tess-...
Donate to Help Tess Get Gender-Affirming Top Surgery!, organized by Sloane Leong
Aloha all, I’m Sloane and I’m starting this fundraiser to help my wonderful f… Sloane Leong needs your support for Help Tess Get Gender-Affirming Top Surgery!
www.gofundme.com
December 5, 2025 at 10:17 PM
my wonderful fiancé is slated for top surgery next month and we need help making it happen! if you’re not in a position to donate, sharing this fundraiser is also greatly appreciated 🥹💚
www.gofundme.com/f/help-tess-...
www.gofundme.com/f/help-tess-...
Reposted by Bethany Black
Quentin Tarantino Slams Paul Dano As Worst Actor On Wikifeet https://theonion.com/quentin-tarantino-slams-paul-dano-as-worst-actor-on-wikifeet/
December 5, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Quentin Tarantino Slams Paul Dano As Worst Actor On Wikifeet https://theonion.com/quentin-tarantino-slams-paul-dano-as-worst-actor-on-wikifeet/
Reposted by Bethany Black
it’s amazing to see the traditional music formats like radio taking stands against AI music. DSPS should follow suit. fuck AI
December 5, 2025 at 8:27 PM
it’s amazing to see the traditional music formats like radio taking stands against AI music. DSPS should follow suit. fuck AI
One of my favourite things is that people who eat Ice Cream on average once per week have lower all cause mortality rates, several studies have had the same outcome, but the reason you never see that anywhere is no one wants to be seen to be the person saying Ice Cream has health benefits
“For example, studies find that coffee drinkers have a lower risk of death from any cause compared to people who don't drink coffee.”
GAME SET MATCH
GAME SET MATCH
December 5, 2025 at 7:11 PM
One of my favourite things is that people who eat Ice Cream on average once per week have lower all cause mortality rates, several studies have had the same outcome, but the reason you never see that anywhere is no one wants to be seen to be the person saying Ice Cream has health benefits
Reposted by Bethany Black
today i said i would be happy to watch england lose the world cup final because the trophy lift will be done with donald trump on the stage, and everyone in the room with me - half a dozen people - agreed.
admittedly they were all scottish but still
admittedly they were all scottish but still
December 5, 2025 at 5:07 PM
today i said i would be happy to watch england lose the world cup final because the trophy lift will be done with donald trump on the stage, and everyone in the room with me - half a dozen people - agreed.
admittedly they were all scottish but still
admittedly they were all scottish but still
It’s been a long time since I heard a drummer get wicked
December 5, 2025 at 3:47 PM
It’s been a long time since I heard a drummer get wicked
If you have someone you like who would like me or someone you hate and think would hate me, a perfect Xmas/Hannukah/Kwanza present is my live show “Always Bet On Beth” which you can buy for a TENNER over at Go Faster Stripe gofasterstripe.com/bet the more of you who buy it the less I’ll repost this
Go Faster Stripe
gofasterstripe.com
December 5, 2025 at 3:20 PM
If you have someone you like who would like me or someone you hate and think would hate me, a perfect Xmas/Hannukah/Kwanza present is my live show “Always Bet On Beth” which you can buy for a TENNER over at Go Faster Stripe gofasterstripe.com/bet the more of you who buy it the less I’ll repost this
Gingerly eating a bag of Hula Hoops and noticed the “no msg ✔️” on the packet. So I just went and added some MSG and shook the bag and they taste infinitely better. I recommend this to all foods that brag they’re MSG free
December 5, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Gingerly eating a bag of Hula Hoops and noticed the “no msg ✔️” on the packet. So I just went and added some MSG and shook the bag and they taste infinitely better. I recommend this to all foods that brag they’re MSG free
Every time I see Trump saying something on TV I’m more and more convinced that Jaime Lannister took the moderate position
December 5, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Every time I see Trump saying something on TV I’m more and more convinced that Jaime Lannister took the moderate position
Reducing down this week’s stock. One of the reasons I never share videos or photos of the actual cooking part of cooking is that I will use this frying pan for most things and get bored of people calling me insane for using a frying pan to make a sauce. But I do it for a very simple reason
December 5, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Reducing down this week’s stock. One of the reasons I never share videos or photos of the actual cooking part of cooking is that I will use this frying pan for most things and get bored of people calling me insane for using a frying pan to make a sauce. But I do it for a very simple reason
Got the phone call all comedians dread “are you near by?” When I was, in fact nearly 6 hours away from where I was supposed to be at 8pm 😬
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
December 4, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Got the phone call all comedians dread “are you near by?” When I was, in fact nearly 6 hours away from where I was supposed to be at 8pm 😬
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
Reposted by Bethany Black
founder this, founder that, still haven't founder way to see the kids at weekends
December 4, 2025 at 5:05 PM
founder this, founder that, still haven't founder way to see the kids at weekends
London Pals, I’m at The Comedy Store in London next week 11th-13th and also at Quantum Leopard comedy club on Saturday 13th x
December 4, 2025 at 4:29 PM
London Pals, I’m at The Comedy Store in London next week 11th-13th and also at Quantum Leopard comedy club on Saturday 13th x
Reposted by Bethany Black
If we can only have art from people who "aren't in it for the money" that means we can only have art from privileged middle-class dilettantes. Making art being a viable career is responsible for nearly all worthwhile art, and if it's not a viable career any more we will get drastically less of it.
December 4, 2025 at 3:13 PM
If we can only have art from people who "aren't in it for the money" that means we can only have art from privileged middle-class dilettantes. Making art being a viable career is responsible for nearly all worthwhile art, and if it's not a viable career any more we will get drastically less of it.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
December 4, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Love being able to track when sunset is by my phone switching to night mode. 16:13 (4:13pm in Freedom Units) here today.
December 4, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Love being able to track when sunset is by my phone switching to night mode. 16:13 (4:13pm in Freedom Units) here today.
I’ve a formula for where I accept gigs that basically breaks down to how far away they are, what day of the week they are, what they pay, and how close to the booking it is. So for example, I wouldn’t book a £200 gig in Oxford on a Sat before the Fri before, but I’d book a £150 Weds three months out
December 4, 2025 at 3:57 PM
I’ve a formula for where I accept gigs that basically breaks down to how far away they are, what day of the week they are, what they pay, and how close to the booking it is. So for example, I wouldn’t book a £200 gig in Oxford on a Sat before the Fri before, but I’d book a £150 Weds three months out
We’ve put him on eBay, one bid, £2.50. SOLD!
December 4, 2025 at 12:35 PM
We’ve put him on eBay, one bid, £2.50. SOLD!
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
December 4, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
You’re an autistic lesbian fan of Musicals and CM Punk, so this is my top 25 songs of the year on Apple Music
December 4, 2025 at 11:58 AM
You’re an autistic lesbian fan of Musicals and CM Punk, so this is my top 25 songs of the year on Apple Music
Day 337; restate my assumption: billionaires made AI talk like that because that’s how everyone talks to them and it’s shaped their worldview.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
December 4, 2025 at 10:23 AM
Day 337; restate my assumption: billionaires made AI talk like that because that’s how everyone talks to them and it’s shaped their worldview.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Yesterday, the Epic Games Store decided at the last minute not to distribute the game, after having previously approved a release build. HORSES is otherwise now available on GOG, Itch, and Humble for $4.99. www.horses.wtf
December 2, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Yesterday, the Epic Games Store decided at the last minute not to distribute the game, after having previously approved a release build. HORSES is otherwise now available on GOG, Itch, and Humble for $4.99. www.horses.wtf