Bethany Black
@bethanyblack.bsky.social
Your favourite comedian’s least favourite comedian. Buy my live stand-up special at www.gofasterstripe.com/bet
Pinned
Another reminder: I have it set so people I don’t follow can’t reply for a very good reason right now. I’m in autistic burnout and interactions are very difficult for me. Anyone circumventing that because they really feel I need to read their opinion on something I posted will be blocked immediately
Got the phone call all comedians dread “are you near by?” When I was, in fact nearly 6 hours away from where I was supposed to be at 8pm 😬
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
December 4, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Got the phone call all comedians dread “are you near by?” When I was, in fact nearly 6 hours away from where I was supposed to be at 8pm 😬
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
Don’t know why it wasn’t in my diary. Properly fucked up there.
Reposted by Bethany Black
founder this, founder that, still haven't founder way to see the kids at weekends
December 4, 2025 at 5:05 PM
founder this, founder that, still haven't founder way to see the kids at weekends
London Pals, I’m at The Comedy Store in London next week 11th-13th and also at Quantum Leopard comedy club on Saturday 13th x
December 4, 2025 at 4:29 PM
London Pals, I’m at The Comedy Store in London next week 11th-13th and also at Quantum Leopard comedy club on Saturday 13th x
Reposted by Bethany Black
If we can only have art from people who "aren't in it for the money" that means we can only have art from privileged middle-class dilettantes. Making art being a viable career is responsible for nearly all worthwhile art, and if it's not a viable career any more we will get drastically less of it.
December 4, 2025 at 3:13 PM
If we can only have art from people who "aren't in it for the money" that means we can only have art from privileged middle-class dilettantes. Making art being a viable career is responsible for nearly all worthwhile art, and if it's not a viable career any more we will get drastically less of it.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
December 4, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Love being able to track when sunset is by my phone switching to night mode. 16:13 (4:13pm in Freedom Units) here today.
December 4, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Love being able to track when sunset is by my phone switching to night mode. 16:13 (4:13pm in Freedom Units) here today.
I’ve a formula for where I accept gigs that basically breaks down to how far away they are, what day of the week they are, what they pay, and how close to the booking it is. So for example, I wouldn’t book a £200 gig in Oxford on a Sat before the Fri before, but I’d book a £150 Weds three months out
December 4, 2025 at 3:57 PM
I’ve a formula for where I accept gigs that basically breaks down to how far away they are, what day of the week they are, what they pay, and how close to the booking it is. So for example, I wouldn’t book a £200 gig in Oxford on a Sat before the Fri before, but I’d book a £150 Weds three months out
We’ve put him on eBay, one bid, £2.50. SOLD!
December 4, 2025 at 12:35 PM
We’ve put him on eBay, one bid, £2.50. SOLD!
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
December 4, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”
You’re an autistic lesbian fan of Musicals and CM Punk, so this is my top 25 songs of the year on Apple Music
December 4, 2025 at 11:58 AM
You’re an autistic lesbian fan of Musicals and CM Punk, so this is my top 25 songs of the year on Apple Music
Day 337; restate my assumption: billionaires made AI talk like that because that’s how everyone talks to them and it’s shaped their worldview.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
December 4, 2025 at 10:23 AM
Day 337; restate my assumption: billionaires made AI talk like that because that’s how everyone talks to them and it’s shaped their worldview.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
For the low low price of $200 per month for ChatGPT Pro you can have your own, personal, Yes Man.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Yesterday, the Epic Games Store decided at the last minute not to distribute the game, after having previously approved a release build. HORSES is otherwise now available on GOG, Itch, and Humble for $4.99. www.horses.wtf
December 2, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Yesterday, the Epic Games Store decided at the last minute not to distribute the game, after having previously approved a release build. HORSES is otherwise now available on GOG, Itch, and Humble for $4.99. www.horses.wtf
Trying to figure out why those guys with those opinions all look like that.
December 4, 2025 at 9:20 AM
Trying to figure out why those guys with those opinions all look like that.
Someone mentioned to me that the song Feliz Navidad sounds like a Scouser singing “Police nabbed me dad” and now that’s all I can hear
December 4, 2025 at 9:10 AM
Someone mentioned to me that the song Feliz Navidad sounds like a Scouser singing “Police nabbed me dad” and now that’s all I can hear
Reposted by Bethany Black
My latest newsletter is about how centrist pundits got the lessons of the 2024 election wrong, and how the politics of 2025 exposed them.
The Pundits Were All Wrong
The Republican collapse has exposed elite pundits as clueless
stringinamaze.net
December 2, 2025 at 8:32 PM
My latest newsletter is about how centrist pundits got the lessons of the 2024 election wrong, and how the politics of 2025 exposed them.
Reposted by Bethany Black
Elmo: But Bethany what do we do when we are reminded of something that makes us sad?
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
December 2, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Elmo: But Bethany what do we do when we are reminded of something that makes us sad?
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
2025 has been a fucking long week and I’m done I tell you
December 3, 2025 at 8:52 AM
2025 has been a fucking long week and I’m done I tell you
Elmo: But Bethany what do we do when we are reminded of something that makes us sad?
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
December 2, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Elmo: But Bethany what do we do when we are reminded of something that makes us sad?
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
Me: oh fuck *starts hyperventilating* no no no no no, fuck, dude. Don’t ask me, I’m not… fuck, I don’t know. What do you do Elmo? WHAT DO YOU DO??
“Let us never forget who we are, two girls, four tits, and a dream” god I love Timeless Toni Storm.
December 2, 2025 at 8:34 PM
“Let us never forget who we are, two girls, four tits, and a dream” god I love Timeless Toni Storm.
Reposted by Bethany Black
i knew i had to commission her again💖 🎨:pk_kenziebugg
December 2, 2025 at 8:03 PM
i knew i had to commission her again💖 🎨:pk_kenziebugg
Being autistic and into musicals means my end of year replay on apple music is kind of embarrassing, my top three artists are the three leads from Death Becomes Her the musical and I’m in each of their top 100 listeners. Listened to the album 77 times in April. 😬
December 2, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Being autistic and into musicals means my end of year replay on apple music is kind of embarrassing, my top three artists are the three leads from Death Becomes Her the musical and I’m in each of their top 100 listeners. Listened to the album 77 times in April. 😬
Reposted by Bethany Black
slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what
December 2, 2025 at 2:01 AM
slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what
Reposted by Bethany Black
Keeping myself centered by thinking about Hulk skanking to the heavy heavy monster sound of Madness.
July 2, 2024 at 6:27 AM
Keeping myself centered by thinking about Hulk skanking to the heavy heavy monster sound of Madness.