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Bethany Black

@bethanyblack.bsky.social

12K followers 340 following 13K posts

Your favourite comedian’s least favourite comedian. Buy my live stand-up special at www.gofasterstripe.com/bet

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · Sep 8

Another reminder: I have it set so people I don’t follow can’t reply for a very good reason right now. I’m in autistic burnout and interactions are very difficult for me. Anyone circumventing that because they really feel I need to read their opinion on something I posted will be blocked immediately

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 24m

“…honestly it’s just pure dumb luck that I had my axe in my hand, so I got in on a technicality.”

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 25m

Me, arriving in Valhalla: “…so I said ‘Are you Viking hard or hardly Viking?’ and it didn’t go down to well, so I started singing 🎵 these boats are made for viking and that’s just what they’ll do, and one of these days these boats are gonna…’ and before I could finish they chucked me overboard.”

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Reposted by Bethany Black

Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 5h

(Duck church)

Duck preacher: give us this day our daily bread

*duck parishioners start going wild and quacking HALLELUJAH*

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 33m

Dr Vultur wasn’t in today, so he saw Dr Kila. Honestly I believe our vets is just WAITING for the sort of accident that creates supervillains

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 35m

Had to bring Fred to the vets, he’s got a dicky tummy to go with his dicky piss pipe.

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Reposted by Bethany Black

Ed Morrish @edmorrish.bsky.social · 1h

this is bluesky, and on here we repost artists we like to make them more visible to others

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 14h

So I’d been using twice as much water as I needed and my starter was just being sloppy AF. The fact I managed to get it to double in size when it was that watery lets me know that the yeast is super strong.

Unfortunately, I’m currently trying to clean wet dough out of a banneton cloth

Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 14h

I knew before a fortnight ago that your sourdough ratio was 1:1:1 or 1:5:5 or 1:10:10 (starter:flour:water) depending on whether you’d be baking daily or weekly and if you needed a stiffer starter for your recipe.

For some reason I convinced myself it was by volume not weight.

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 14h

10 years ago I used to make really good sourdough, I got the starter going again when everyone got bored of it during lockdown and got my skills back up, I made a starter a couple of weeks ago and so far haven’t been able to make a single loaf that worked. An hour ago I realised my mistake. Fuck

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 22h

Anyway, let’s finish this with that James Gunn tweet.

Dylan Sprouse tweets Jared Leto saying that now he’s slipped into the DMs of every 18-25 year old model on the internet what is his success rate”. James Gunn replies “He starts at 18 on the Internet?”

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 22h

There was someone I worked with who did that and I genuinely thought they hated me and I was about to get fired, then at the wrap party we got on fantastically because I was no longer their villain

Reposted by Bethany Black

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 22h

Haha yeah, De Niro is famously method and during filming Meet the Parents he just didn't socialise on set with Ben Stiller. He didn't constantly take him to one side between takes and call him a prick.

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 22h

Leto repeatedly interferes with other people’s work, almost every time he’s done something that’s cost so much time everyone knows about Morbius, but there was also that time he gave himself gout and shut down production playing Mark Chapman in that film no one watched.

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 22h

Thinking of Leto sending used condoms and dead animals to co-stars whilst in character as Joker, vs Christian Bale telling Tim Booth of James “Laid Saved my life” whilst in full Batman costume and doing the voice

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 22h

Here’s the thing, 99% of method actors aren’t cunts whilst in character, I’ve had a blast with method actors in character.

As Daniel Day Lewis said “if it interferes with other people’s work you’ve gone wrong”

Lady Emily ☄️ @ladyemily.nebula.tv · 1d

Finding out that Jared Leto kept doing his method acting shit and insisted on staying in character on the set of Tron Ares and would only answer to the name of Ares is so funny, like making a big ass douche of yourself for the third Tron movie where you play “computer program that gains feelings”

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 22h

Spooky season, so I’m reminded of the time I turned my PC on and all the lights in it lit up, illuminating a spider that was hanging on a web which I saw for a brief second before it was sucked into my CPU fan.

For a brief moment I was Jigsaw

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Reposted by Bethany Black

muscular baby jeb lund @mobute.bsky.social · 3d

As Democrats contemplate a 2026 or 2028 run and wonder what message will most motivate voters, they need to understand that the minimum opening bid is vengeance.

Justice for All - Truthdig

To restore the rule of law, Democrats must enforce the constitution with brass knuckles like there’s nothing to lose. Because there isn’t.

www.truthdig.com

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 1d

That is of course Tron 3 (16)

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 1d

For Tron so loved the world, that he gave his second begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not have to watch another movie with Jared Leto, but have everlasting life

IGN @ign.com · 1d

Tron: Ares disappoints with opening weekend box office below even Jared Leto's Spider-Man universe flop Morbius. https://bit.ly/43d7wxV

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Reposted by Bethany Black

Illiterate Autodidact 🇵🇸🙂👍🇮🇱☹👎 @cigaretteliker.bsky.social · 1d

The virgin AGI existential risk vs the chad global warming

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 1d

Feeling better about being so burned out I can’t even do my washing up

Kinell @sinistercinemastudios.art · 1d

LET'S FUCKING GO

International Day for Failure

Date

Mon, 13 Oct 2025

THE INTERNATIONAL

DAY FOR FAILURE OCTOBER 13th

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Reposted by Bethany Black

Kieron Gillen @kierongillen.bsky.social · 1d

Rue Britannia was about many things, but certainly among them was looking back at the sort of critic you (sometimes) were and realising it was a bullshit way to go. The arsehole mode of criticism is always popular, and justifiably aesthetically, but plain bad for you and the criticism you make.

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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 1d

Albert trying to convince me that a whole pouch of food and a scoop of dry food isn’t enough

Albert the cat sitting next to his empty food bowl

Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 1d

If you’re planting garlic you can buy seed garlic types which is what I did or you can grow regular cloves you got from the shop, but be aware they might have soil borne diseases that’ll spread to other plants. But a couple of weeks is long enough notice to buy seed garlic if you want to grow it

Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve saved my bulb with the biggest cloves for this year, it’s year two here so I’m hoping it’ll lead to even bigger bulbs that are more well matched to our soil here :)