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Richard Brooks

@richardabrooks.bsky.social

640 followers 570 following 11K posts

Driven out from G+ forever seeking a new home, chased by relentless (sorry slipped over to a BattleStar Galactica intro) Keeper of wolf kin, husband & gen-X survivor 🐀trollslayer #BatTheRat https://signal.group/#CjQKID6T26q3RvA2TM5P1N_G0t0GZg0lEPXYi57

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · Jun 5

So

Wombats shit cubes

IF

You could train a wombat to mark their cube shits with a pattern of dots, one dot on a side, six dots on the opposite side & so on

Wombats could gamble!

Wombats could play craps

WITH ACTUAL CRAP

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 10h

Either I have them blocked or they have me

Win either way 😂

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 12h

Bizarro original post blocked?

I too have done stupid stuff, generally cold sober & have never got a Nazi tattoo … it’s almost like it’s a choice or something 😂

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 12h

Practically every ancient explorer found stuff they weren’t looking for

If you were really lucky you’d have found the lost mines of the Incas but good second prize I guess 😆

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 13h

Weeel I wasn’t going to say anything 🤣

But honestly good luck & im glad you found a person, I think it gets harder year on year to do that, and I’m happy to be well out of that game

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 13h

Oh dear 😆

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 13h

Pro tip for burying a body minimising effort

Pick a really good spot

Rough the earth up

Phone in an anonymous tip to police that you saw someone bury something there

When police finish digging big hole

Wait a week … then turn up in daylight & high vis dispose & fill

police won’t look … again

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 1d

Just stick a big straw in a wine box

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 1d

Love it

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Awesome as always … I did my own modest pic (for identification) on my morning dog walk

… dogs nose needs no identification 🤣

Grass with a pair of mushrooms growing identified as Yellow Fieldcaps

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Mayonnaise dispensed in this manner is either the height of 70’s carry on film smut, or simply deeply wrong 😆

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Great news for a home brewer

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Has it ever not been funny?

It’s a running joke round here

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Proper tooth crackers 😆

Decoration has not been decided yet, but will certainly be a hard royal icing base

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

🤣

Comma, comma, comma, chameleon
Punctuate & go, punctuate & go o oo o

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Lashings of hot custard

Perfect 👌

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

My Christmas cake had its second feed of rum this week & shall be marzipan’d next

Going for as thick as as a UK reform voter

A rich Christmas cake dark & full of fruit

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Honestly who isn’t 🤣

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Thick marzipan & proper royal icing is the only proper Christmas cake

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Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

True story I grew up in the Forest of Dean & worked with a drummer from a one hit wonder band . I tell people but they think it’s UNBELIEVABLE

Richard Brooks @richardabrooks.bsky.social · 2d

Lyrics can be strange

Why would a guy rap about the joy of having sufficient irrigation storage for his small holding?

🎶”I like big butts & I cannot lie”🎶