Offlately3.0 🔵
@offlately2.bsky.social
Love my pittie mix, bad jokes, good jokes, camping, and cooking.
Pinned
Good morning, here’s my dog bringing me her favorite stuffie on my birthday last week.
Wow, “The Pledge” from 2001 has a killer cast.
November 24, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Wow, “The Pledge” from 2001 has a killer cast.
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
Cook the man some fucking eggs, Charlie Brown!
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, Charlie Brown.
I am the one who knocks, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Cook the man some fucking eggs, Charlie Brown!
Ruin a movie by adding “trauma” to it.
Trauma of the flower moon.
Trauma of the flower moon.
November 24, 2025 at 7:17 AM
Ruin a movie by adding “trauma” to it.
Trauma of the flower moon.
Trauma of the flower moon.
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
one trauma after another
November 24, 2025 at 7:11 AM
one trauma after another
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
My hot Thanksgiving take is you're not making enough gravy. Gravy is the water of life, there should be enough to drown the meat and every side. For a full bird feast you need to reduce a full quart of chicken stock to half before adding the turkey droppings.
November 24, 2025 at 3:20 AM
My hot Thanksgiving take is you're not making enough gravy. Gravy is the water of life, there should be enough to drown the meat and every side. For a full bird feast you need to reduce a full quart of chicken stock to half before adding the turkey droppings.
Netflix is funny because it has a “watch it again category” and it’s every blockbuster you r seen in the last 8 years.
November 24, 2025 at 6:47 AM
Netflix is funny because it has a “watch it again category” and it’s every blockbuster you r seen in the last 8 years.
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, Charlie Brown.
I am the one who knocks, Charlie Brown.
That rug really tied the room together, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 6:33 AM
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, Charlie Brown.
If anyone believes this Facebook shit I’ve got a bridge to sell you
As America continues its backward spiral, Finland is showing us what our tomorrows are missing out on.
The future will get here without America it seems
The future will get here without America it seems
November 24, 2025 at 5:48 AM
If anyone believes this Facebook shit I’ve got a bridge to sell you
There’s a good chance I could die soon.
My fortune cookie has no fortune in it. :(
My fortune cookie has no fortune in it. :(
November 24, 2025 at 5:40 AM
There’s a good chance I could die soon.
My fortune cookie has no fortune in it. :(
My fortune cookie has no fortune in it. :(
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
thanksgiving dinner flavored lube
November 24, 2025 at 5:15 AM
thanksgiving dinner flavored lube
I see people posting about Love Actually. If I ever date a woman who like the scene where look alike whats her face likes the guy from the walking dead with the Cue Cards thing? I am running.
November 24, 2025 at 4:46 AM
I see people posting about Love Actually. If I ever date a woman who like the scene where look alike whats her face likes the guy from the walking dead with the Cue Cards thing? I am running.
Oh god.
Side note. Shes spent a lot of money to look that way.
Side note. Shes spent a lot of money to look that way.
November 24, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Oh god.
Side note. Shes spent a lot of money to look that way.
Side note. Shes spent a lot of money to look that way.
Looks like I am off tomorrow as well. Gonna spend all day cleaning again.
November 24, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Looks like I am off tomorrow as well. Gonna spend all day cleaning again.
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
i think if you voted for the same guy in 2016 and 2024 you should sit the next election out as part of a “fool me twice” situation
November 24, 2025 at 3:36 AM
i think if you voted for the same guy in 2016 and 2024 you should sit the next election out as part of a “fool me twice” situation
FUCK. It installed 215 GB while I cleaned all day and still needs a 54 GB update.
Modern gaming is PAIN.
PSA. Parents, if buying your kid a console, install their game for them so they can play it on Christmas Day.
Modern gaming is PAIN.
PSA. Parents, if buying your kid a console, install their game for them so they can play it on Christmas Day.
November 24, 2025 at 4:08 AM
FUCK. It installed 215 GB while I cleaned all day and still needs a 54 GB update.
Modern gaming is PAIN.
PSA. Parents, if buying your kid a console, install their game for them so they can play it on Christmas Day.
Modern gaming is PAIN.
PSA. Parents, if buying your kid a console, install their game for them so they can play it on Christmas Day.
I can’t even imagine having kids. Woke up kinda late (8:30 am) made breakfast, went for groceries, then started cleaning, next thing I know it’s time to walk the dog, keep cleaning, make myself something to eat, keep cleaning, time to walk the dog. Damn. It’s past dinner time.
November 24, 2025 at 3:47 AM
I can’t even imagine having kids. Woke up kinda late (8:30 am) made breakfast, went for groceries, then started cleaning, next thing I know it’s time to walk the dog, keep cleaning, make myself something to eat, keep cleaning, time to walk the dog. Damn. It’s past dinner time.
WONDERFUL THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN MY APARTMENT, BEAUTIFUL THINGS, SOME SAY THE BEST. SIR, ITS UNBELIEVABLE WHAT YOUVE ACCOMPLISHED IN ONE DAY. MORE THAN ANY OTHER DEPRESSED APARTMENT OWNERS SIR.
Guys I finally vacuumed (3x) and Steam cleaned my carpet (most of it)
Guys I finally vacuumed (3x) and Steam cleaned my carpet (most of it)
November 24, 2025 at 12:08 AM
WONDERFUL THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN MY APARTMENT, BEAUTIFUL THINGS, SOME SAY THE BEST. SIR, ITS UNBELIEVABLE WHAT YOUVE ACCOMPLISHED IN ONE DAY. MORE THAN ANY OTHER DEPRESSED APARTMENT OWNERS SIR.
Guys I finally vacuumed (3x) and Steam cleaned my carpet (most of it)
Guys I finally vacuumed (3x) and Steam cleaned my carpet (most of it)
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
November 23, 2025 at 11:38 PM
I’ve been reading this book on practical Shibari.
It’s a great book, but it’s kept me tied up for hours on end.
It’s a great book, but it’s kept me tied up for hours on end.
November 24, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I’ve been reading this book on practical Shibari.
It’s a great book, but it’s kept me tied up for hours on end.
It’s a great book, but it’s kept me tied up for hours on end.
Might fuck around, get wild and vacuum today.
November 23, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Might fuck around, get wild and vacuum today.
The music that you partied to in your twenties you end up vacuuming your with in your forties.
November 23, 2025 at 8:44 PM
The music that you partied to in your twenties you end up vacuuming your with in your forties.
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
Breaking news: the lyrics are “We're gonna have a good day
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today”
Not, “ cause all my homies gonna die today”
Because the wrong lyrics are stuck in my head .
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today”
Not, “ cause all my homies gonna die today”
Because the wrong lyrics are stuck in my head .
November 23, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Breaking news: the lyrics are “We're gonna have a good day
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today”
Not, “ cause all my homies gonna die today”
Because the wrong lyrics are stuck in my head .
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today”
Not, “ cause all my homies gonna die today”
Because the wrong lyrics are stuck in my head .
Reposted by Offlately3.0 🔵
Pack it up
Pack it in
Let me begin
I came to win
Battle me? That’s a sin.
Pack it in
Let me begin
I came to win
Battle me? That’s a sin.
November 23, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Pack it up
Pack it in
Let me begin
I came to win
Battle me? That’s a sin.
Pack it in
Let me begin
I came to win
Battle me? That’s a sin.
Good morning. In the pan, cleanoutthefridge charro beans for cleanoutthefridge Huevos Rancheros.
November 23, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Good morning. In the pan, cleanoutthefridge charro beans for cleanoutthefridge Huevos Rancheros.