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LeBond James

@octopithy.bsky.social

820 followers 270 following 1.2K posts

masshole shitposter nobody All the skeets 👉 https://bit.ly/3Aq0mLM Best of 👉 https://bit.ly/4fVp8ll Follow requests 👉 https://bit.ly/416xJ0O

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 4d

Why would I go to Mastodon when my awkward, subpar shitposting can get ignored here?

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 3h

Peak patriotism was when Weird Al stopped the Rocky IV anthem madness sweeping America and gave us "Living with a Hernia."

LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5h

Tony Robbins once said your life is like one card in a deck. If that deck had 52 cards that range from Jeff Bezos' lifestyle to a poor child dying from starvation, would you put it back? And no one in the audience said they would. And all I could think was, "He's a big dude. Gotta have a huge cock."

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Reposted by LeBond James

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 5h

Tuesdays are a great day to make your problems everyone else’s problems.

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5h

ok but can you use that other app to trade kohl's cash like we do here

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Reposted by LeBond James

Beard Al Yankmydick 💦🥩 @beardium.bsky.social · 7h

"It smells like bricks and shit in here." I say as I enter a brick shithouse.

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

Thirst-trap boob pics but all I can think about is how bad you must need a back massage.

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Reposted by LeBond James

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 1d

The best part of watching old game shows is the mental workout I get adjusting prizes for inflation.

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Reposted by LeBond James

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 3d

You never think you’re gonna fist fight a nun but there was only one life preserver left and I have it on good authority they can fly

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 4d

Why would I go to Mastodon when my awkward, subpar shitposting can get ignored here?

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 4d

"If Mastodon blows up, I'll eat my hat!"*
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<buys stylish hat made of Swedish Fish to have on hand just in case, because I have a terrible track record of early-adopter success>

Reposted by LeBond James

AnnaMolly will delete @anna-molly.bsky.social · 4d

Mr Rogers was probably a really generous lover

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5d

Standing on the corner, ringing a small bell, wearing just a sandwich board that bears the truth: PUMPKINS ARE A FRUIT

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5d

Honk if you're of the age where you still use the circular arm-with-fist motion to get someone to roll down their window.

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5d

Shepherd's Crotch must be a real place.

LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5d

I only have enough cringe to share on one platform.

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5d

Absolutely not. No fucking way.

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Reposted by LeBond James

lemon 🍋 @littlelemontart.being.baby · 5d

don’t speak to me or my stuffed animals ever again

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 5d

We left Twitter. Next, we migrate to Mastodon, where we need a shitposter quorum of 6,969. Then we begin the Third & Final Great Migration back to MySpace. Godspeed, everyone.