Author | Lightnews

motel california

@motelporn.bsky.social

1.6K followers 1.4K following 2.2K posts

hospitality industry • she/her/mom • cis/bi • lmt • sfw • sahm • enm • #fuckMS • stupid babbling: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ec3rjefpjf5d6utve7lq2py6/feed/aaaemwfiui5sw the rooms: https://www.tumblr.com/motelporn

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · Jun 5

I only dabble in motels

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 9m

What??? 😂😂

motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 5h

Oh my god! This! + lawns = droughts!

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Matt HalloweenName @badthoughthaver.bsky.social · 17h

[Opening my eyes in the morning]

Oh FFS, not this shit again 😒

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 17h

We tried to get tickets to one of the performances as well but weren’t successful

motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 17h

It's the Rocky Horror Picture Show’s 50th anniversary so the hubs and I are bringing back our Halloween costumes.

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 17h

I'm obviously not a princess because I sleep for hours, sometimes even days. My husband, on the other hand, must be a princess because he sleeps terribly.

motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 18h

You got a permit for that backhoe?

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

A website for men that'll never be touched called OnlyHands.

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✨💕Halloween Princess💕✨ @princessofbluesky.bsky.social · 1d

My personal hell is needing to blow my nose while in an area where there’s no tissues

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Rebel Yankee @tnrefugee.bsky.social · 1d

5: Are Bailey and Molly old?

Me: Yup.

5: Are Kali and Riley old?

Me: Nope.

5: So they have a long time to live.

Me: Yup.

5: But not Bailey or Molly or you.

Me:….

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 1d

What have you heard, kid?

a close up of a cartoon chicken with big eyes and a red crest

Alt: a close-up of a cartoon chicken with big eyes and a red crest looking suspicious

media.tenor.com

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

according to the latest polls everyone is still mad at you

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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 1d

The government shutdown is especially tough on men, who are losing $1.00 for every 75¢ a woman loses.

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 1d

Otters are a mermaid’s cat

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KIMBOOLY👻💕✨ @k1m.bsky.social · 1d

Listening to tech convention bros talk about anything makes me want to redact myself

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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 1d

In man or fish, wriggling is a sign of inferiority.

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Spider. @vaspider.gay · 1d

Sex with both wives.

Chaotic Neutral @jawnthedon.bsky.social · 2d

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 1d

Oh no! I would just throw my phone!

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𝔉𝔬𝔬𝔩•𝔬𝔣•𝔱𝔥𝔢•𝔗𝔯𝔲𝔱𝔥 @clirkus.bsky.social · 1d

the only thing stopping me from being the silent, mysterious type is my inability to shut the fuck up

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 1d

My family decorated for Halloween by pulling everything out of the boxes and leaving whatever they didn't use all over the living room floor 🙌

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 2d

Every day is tittie Tuesday when you got tits!

motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 2d

All employees should have to listen to the hold music every time they place someone on hold. You know, so they can match the same energy as the customer who has been on hold for 20 hours

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 2d

I would recommend a white noise machine or a box fan, which is what I use, as they are not very expensive. 🙏🤙

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 2d

Stopped into the bookstore today and saved $1.75 by only getting a medium coffee abd then I spent that extra $97.42 on books instead

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