Red Gardener
@kelsilo.bsky.social
Your friendly neighborhood Baltimore Co. commie. Pretzel Maker www.imbisspretzel.com
Auntie. Gardener and armchair ecologist. Guitar and bass player. Video games. Latin America enthusiast.
Deli worker. I'll slice any meat you need.
Auntie. Gardener and armchair ecologist. Guitar and bass player. Video games. Latin America enthusiast.
Deli worker. I'll slice any meat you need.
This makes me want to reshoot the prison diner scene from Goodfellas, but everyone has southern accents.
A drone dropped supplies that seemed destined for a crab boil at a South Carolina prison this week, staff said. The intercepted delivery included steak, crab legs, two bags of marijuana, Marlboro cigarettes and a small container of Old Bay seasoning, photos show.
Prison intercepts drone delivery of crab boil supplies — including Old Bay
The drone carried food, marijuana and cigarettes toward the Lee Correctional Institution in Bishopville, South Carolina, the state corrections department said.
wapo.st
December 11, 2025 at 2:54 PM
This makes me want to reshoot the prison diner scene from Goodfellas, but everyone has southern accents.
Reposted by Red Gardener
Ms. Rachel and Weird Al need to start the Vanguard Party
We got Weird Al out here singing Killing In The Name, the time for moderation is over
December 6, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Ms. Rachel and Weird Al need to start the Vanguard Party
Lately, I've been down on myself for dropping out/ getting kicked out of the labor aristocracy. Honestly though, this is the first time I've been unequivocally confident that I'm good at what I do. It's no PTO or 401k, but that's something I guess.
December 7, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Lately, I've been down on myself for dropping out/ getting kicked out of the labor aristocracy. Honestly though, this is the first time I've been unequivocally confident that I'm good at what I do. It's no PTO or 401k, but that's something I guess.
Come out tomorrow Baltimore to get Imbiss pretzels and stuff that's less safe for work! 💋 🥨❤️
December 7, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Come out tomorrow Baltimore to get Imbiss pretzels and stuff that's less safe for work! 💋 🥨❤️
My almost two year old nephew grabbed a carving knife of of the table and I thought one of us was going to end up stabbed as I panicked and tried to grab it from him. How's your morning going?
December 4, 2025 at 2:31 PM
My almost two year old nephew grabbed a carving knife of of the table and I thought one of us was going to end up stabbed as I panicked and tried to grab it from him. How's your morning going?
Reposted by Red Gardener
Here’s my Spotify Wrapped 🎵✨
December 3, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Here’s my Spotify Wrapped 🎵✨
Reposted by Red Gardener
wife got a timer for all of our christmas lights so obviously thinking of this
December 2, 2025 at 1:29 AM
wife got a timer for all of our christmas lights so obviously thinking of this
I'm not sure exactly what's on my arm, but I think I got my first lye burn yesterday. Call me Skyler Durden, I guess.
December 1, 2025 at 8:28 PM
I'm not sure exactly what's on my arm, but I think I got my first lye burn yesterday. Call me Skyler Durden, I guess.
Reposted by Red Gardener
Oh look, a map of publicly owned land that should be returned to Native Americans
We found that the BLM skipped environmental review on 75% of its grazing land. Our new @propublica.org story explains the ”loophole” that allows BLM to bypass enviro reviews. www.propublica.org/article/graz...
December 1, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Oh look, a map of publicly owned land that should be returned to Native Americans
I love getting feedback about Imbiss. "This is the best pretzel I've had in Baltimore." ❤️ 🥨
November 30, 2025 at 4:59 PM
I love getting feedback about Imbiss. "This is the best pretzel I've had in Baltimore." ❤️ 🥨
Ill be back at the market tomorrow but expect to sell out quickly again! Until I'm able to scale up, its relatively small quantities. Id love to see you early!
Happy Thanksgiving, Baltimore! After you sleep off the meal, kick start your holiday shopping and get an Imbiss pretzel at Zion Church's Christkindlmarkt!
November 29, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Ill be back at the market tomorrow but expect to sell out quickly again! Until I'm able to scale up, its relatively small quantities. Id love to see you early!
Aaaaaand im sold out. Thank you!!! Danke!
And please bring small bills. Help! Lol
Hey Baltimore friends, Kelsi has put in like weeks of work to get ready for her biggest market yet. Go check it out and get a pretzel!
November 29, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Aaaaaand im sold out. Thank you!!! Danke!
And please bring small bills. Help! Lol
Hey Baltimore friends, Kelsi has put in like weeks of work to get ready for her biggest market yet. Go check it out and get a pretzel!
Happy Thanksgiving, Baltimore! After you sleep off the meal, kick start your holiday shopping and get an Imbiss pretzel at Zion Church's Christkindlmarkt!
November 29, 2025 at 3:35 PM
And please bring small bills. Help! Lol
4 Non Blondes What's Up is playing and I realize you can kinda sing the verse from Kiss Me Deadly over the verse. Mash it up.
November 28, 2025 at 9:40 PM
4 Non Blondes What's Up is playing and I realize you can kinda sing the verse from Kiss Me Deadly over the verse. Mash it up.
I applied to sell pretzels at an erotic art market because I thought it was funny. Weeks later, the joke is stale, but I was accepted so now I'm thinking about how I can roll a pretzel to look like chucha.
So many stupid things I've done in life can be traced back to, "Wouldn't it be funny if..."
So many stupid things I've done in life can be traced back to, "Wouldn't it be funny if..."
November 28, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I applied to sell pretzels at an erotic art market because I thought it was funny. Weeks later, the joke is stale, but I was accepted so now I'm thinking about how I can roll a pretzel to look like chucha.
So many stupid things I've done in life can be traced back to, "Wouldn't it be funny if..."
So many stupid things I've done in life can be traced back to, "Wouldn't it be funny if..."
Working food service when you're coughing is a lot like being the character in a zombie movie who gets bit, but is trying to pretend they're fine.
What are you gonna do, bills don't have sick days and neither do we. 🤷♀️
What are you gonna do, bills don't have sick days and neither do we. 🤷♀️
November 28, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Working food service when you're coughing is a lot like being the character in a zombie movie who gets bit, but is trying to pretend they're fine.
What are you gonna do, bills don't have sick days and neither do we. 🤷♀️
What are you gonna do, bills don't have sick days and neither do we. 🤷♀️
Reposted by Red Gardener
Kelsi just said "Guan Yuletide"
you better watch out
You better watch out
You Better Watch Out
𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘉𝘌𝘛𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘈𝘛𝘊𝘏 𝘖𝘜𝘛
𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝙀𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝘼𝙏𝘾𝙃 𝙊𝙐𝙏
𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗧
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐔𝐓
《根据中华人民共和国相关法律法规，强烈建议谨慎行事》
You better watch out
You Better Watch Out
𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘉𝘌𝘛𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘈𝘛𝘊𝘏 𝘖𝘜𝘛
𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝙀𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝘼𝙏𝘾𝙃 𝙊𝙐𝙏
𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗧
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐔𝐓
《根据中华人民共和国相关法律法规，强烈建议谨慎行事》
November 27, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Kelsi just said "Guan Yuletide"
Happy Thanksgiving, Baltimore! After you sleep off the meal, kick start your holiday shopping and get an Imbiss pretzel at Zion Church's Christkindlmarkt!
November 26, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Happy Thanksgiving, Baltimore! After you sleep off the meal, kick start your holiday shopping and get an Imbiss pretzel at Zion Church's Christkindlmarkt!
Reposted by Red Gardener
This man would be destroyed if he was roasted by one Irish grandmother.
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 6:16 PM
This man would be destroyed if he was roasted by one Irish grandmother.
Reposted by Red Gardener
Meanwhile, in Venezuela:
November 24, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Meanwhile, in Venezuela:
I've always hated the swamp slander. VITAL ecosystem. Smdh.
GOP politicians: "Drain the swamp in Washington!"
Me: "Ok, first off, wetlands provide a number of ecosystem services..."
Me: "Ok, first off, wetlands provide a number of ecosystem services..."
November 24, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I've always hated the swamp slander. VITAL ecosystem. Smdh.
Reposted by Red Gardener
Transgender awareness week is over, you are unaware that you are transgender
November 23, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Transgender awareness week is over, you are unaware that you are transgender
Hast du etwas Zeit für mich?
Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich
Von 99 Luftballons
Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich
Von 99 Luftballons
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
let the bodies hit the floor
November 23, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Hast du etwas Zeit für mich?
Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich
Von 99 Luftballons
Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich
Von 99 Luftballons
I'm a mess that's not good at things capitalism wants. 😆
November 23, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I'm a mess that's not good at things capitalism wants. 😆
The mind boggles at the concept of Alton James Brown.
November 23, 2025 at 2:12 AM
The mind boggles at the concept of Alton James Brown.