Hazel Weakly
@hazelweakly.me
8.4K followers 910 following 4.3K posts
I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts. They never stop thinking. Never stop thunking. hachyderm.io/@hazelweakly
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
hazelweakly.me
It was so good to meet you in person today!! Your look ate too, as always!

(Not pictured: Niv’s amazing shoe game)
hazelweakly.me
Same as “I like brutal honesty”

(Proceeds to be a brutal and cruel shitty person who’s disingenuous and not honest)
hazelweakly.me
😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️
hazelweakly.me
Thank you! The gel before the heatless curls really helped set the curls and I love ittt
hazelweakly.me
But I’ll be speaking today! Catch my talk on Coherent Impact and the Art of Strategy at 11:55am!
hazelweakly.me
Ready for day one of StaffPlus NY!

Plus, uhh, Face ID doesn’t work for me anymore because apparently my makeup is too fierce for it? 💁‍♀️
Hazel looking at the camera with an ombré lipstick and bright eyeshadow and a green satin jumpsuit
hazelweakly.me
I aim to please 💅💅
hazelweakly.me
I mean, fucking over your marginalized populations instead of working with them to design a better protocol and ecosystem is… not the solution I’d do, personally

But I only help architect some of the world’s most reliable and critical infrastructure so what do I know? 🤷‍♀️
hazelweakly.me
Or, y’know, burn all your bridges with every marginalized community that ever helped make this site what it is. Tell them to fuck off, and tell them to build their own thing with your non existent tools. That’s also an option!
hazelweakly.me
People sit there and wonder why the shit I build works so well and how the fuck I did it for a fraction of the price that they thought possible. It’s not hard, honestly: design for the marginalized

The power law cuts both ways. Use it to your advantage!
hazelweakly.me
It’s *so* possible to sit there and figure out a protocol that’s usable by a disabled person in a rural area with ancient computing devices undergoing harassment. You know how many fucking edge cases that covers?

It’s significantly cheaper to do that than to come up with edge cases yourself, too!
hazelweakly.me
From one protocol designer to another: the best protocols are built by thinking of the use cases and tooling and enablement first.

Here’s a secret: Design for the margins and the marginalized, then the capabilities fall out naturally and the resulting protocol is extraordinarily robust
hazelweakly.me
Likewise, for all the fanfare of how quote posts are better designed now, actual anti harassment and hate management tooling is non existent

“But we’re protocol engineers”. Ok, then build the tools, babe. Is your superior protocol capable of making those tools easy to build? Oh? No? That’s odd…
hazelweakly.me
It’s also imminently possible to realize, ahead of time, that the promise of federation doesn’t quite work if the protocol can’t be ran cheaply and effectively. Rather than super scaling one federated system, it could’ve been internally federated from day one if you cared that much 🤷‍♀️
hazelweakly.me
For example, of bad faith group behavior is literally visible in a graph. The amount of blatant spam, trolls, or other bad faith actors on here is enormous and one would be able to detect them fairly reliably if that was a capability of social graph analysis they thought about incorporating earlier
hazelweakly.me
While we’re at it, it’s engineering malpractice to build a social graph that’s fully open source, without making it possible or easy to analyze clusters or graph behavior

The power law distribution cuts many ways: some of those are good. But you gotta analyze the graph to see it!
histoftech.bsky.social
It is engineering malpractice that this site has not yet implemented an option to allow people to private their accounts, given that they’re a US based company, and the US is going through what it’s going through.

But hey, waffles, amirite.
hazelweakly.me
You could never lose me 🥺❤️
hazelweakly.me
It didn’t even fall off before we completely ruined the size of it! I tried to buy a portable car a few years ago and the options were basically smart cars with zero storage and ppl capacity, or massive sedans/hatchbacks that are hell to park in urban areas

It was wild. “Small” American car? Pffh
hazelweakly.me
One time in college I was so tired I slept until 8pm, missed the cafeteria, and then ate a large little Caesar’s pizza, a pint of ice cream, and a half liter of coke in one sitting

Then I proceeded to roll over and sleep for another 15 hours or so

It was character building, or something?
hazelweakly.me
Right??? Little Caesar’s and Costco pizza were a formative part of my college and early career days
hazelweakly.me
I miss being able to digest really shitty pizza 😅
hazelweakly.me
Oh no! That must’ve been rough 😭
hazelweakly.me
I gotta iron my outfit first!
hazelweakly.me
Babe no 😭

Also wtf are you doing up still?!
hazelweakly.me
New York! I am in you and excited for the staffplus conference tomorrow!

(I also horribly fucked up the plane schedule. Mistakes were made. I’m gonna get like five hours of sleep tonight max. Rip. It’s fineeeee™)