Reposted by malibu barbie
(comforting a kid at their dad's funeral) you know, your daddy always told me he wished he was dead (kid starts crying) he's uhh he's not though. he's fine. i saw him at the gas station. mommy told a lie
October 5, 2025 at 3:36 AM
(comforting a kid at their dad's funeral) you know, your daddy always told me he wished he was dead (kid starts crying) he's uhh he's not though. he's fine. i saw him at the gas station. mommy told a lie
Reposted by malibu barbie
The Simpsons predicted my skin turning yellow from liver disease
October 17, 2025 at 6:16 PM
The Simpsons predicted my skin turning yellow from liver disease
Reposted by malibu barbie
please don’t speak to me in the hall I am purposefully disassociating
November 18, 2025 at 7:10 PM
please don’t speak to me in the hall I am purposefully disassociating
Sorry i spoke to you in the hall when you were purposefully dissociating
November 18, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Sorry i spoke to you in the hall when you were purposefully dissociating
Reposted by malibu barbie
I found my @ggallin.bsky.social hat!
November 16, 2025 at 12:46 AM
I found my @ggallin.bsky.social hat!
Reposted by malibu barbie
Korn had two types of songs and they’re either called Stinky Party or Got Molested
November 11, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Korn had two types of songs and they’re either called Stinky Party or Got Molested
Reposted by malibu barbie
Chalices and goblets are the exact same bullshit to me
November 11, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Chalices and goblets are the exact same bullshit to me
Put this on my grave
I’ll never stop i love myself too much
November 11, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Put this on my grave
Just found out by way of photograph that I look terrible in a beanie. Apologies to anyone who’s ever seen me in one, i didn’t know
November 11, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Just found out by way of photograph that I look terrible in a beanie. Apologies to anyone who’s ever seen me in one, i didn’t know
Reposted by malibu barbie
jokes on you - i was already gonna push a rock up a hill forever
March 17, 2025 at 5:47 AM
jokes on you - i was already gonna push a rock up a hill forever
Reposted by malibu barbie
Being an adult rules you can do whatever you want. I like to sit down on my chair and complain nonstop about literally every single thing in the god damn world
November 9, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Being an adult rules you can do whatever you want. I like to sit down on my chair and complain nonstop about literally every single thing in the god damn world
Reposted by malibu barbie
Careful please, that’s a load-bearing delusion
March 27, 2024 at 12:27 AM
Careful please, that’s a load-bearing delusion
Being an adult rules you can do whatever you want. I like to sit down on my chair and complain nonstop about literally every single thing in the god damn world
November 9, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Being an adult rules you can do whatever you want. I like to sit down on my chair and complain nonstop about literally every single thing in the god damn world
Reposted by malibu barbie
a car so smart it’s sad
November 8, 2025 at 1:04 AM
a car so smart it’s sad
My knowledge base is so exhaustive it doesn’t even register on the rodeo scale ✌️
November 9, 2025 at 8:01 PM
My knowledge base is so exhaustive it doesn’t even register on the rodeo scale ✌️
Reposted by malibu barbie
Levels of “I ain’t readin’ all that”: off the charts
October 18, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Levels of “I ain’t readin’ all that”: off the charts
Reposted by malibu barbie
I’m ODing on the experience of being human and alive
October 4, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I’m ODing on the experience of being human and alive
Reposted by malibu barbie
If you are a billionaire governor I don’t think posting ”damn that’s crazy” counts as doing everything in your power
In Illinois, we will do everything within our power to look out for our neighbors, uphold the Constitution, and defend the rule of law.
October 4, 2025 at 8:42 PM
If you are a billionaire governor I don’t think posting ”damn that’s crazy” counts as doing everything in your power
Reposted by malibu barbie
The personal computer was mistake. Computers should be huge and scary
October 3, 2025 at 9:59 PM
The personal computer was mistake. Computers should be huge and scary
Mentally i’m Jared leto and I’ve been doing a silent meditation in the desert from which I’ve just now returned and heard about Alien hand syndrome
October 1, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Mentally i’m Jared leto and I’ve been doing a silent meditation in the desert from which I’ve just now returned and heard about Alien hand syndrome
Reposted by malibu barbie
if I ever meet Paul McCartney I’m gonna call him big dawg
October 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
if I ever meet Paul McCartney I’m gonna call him big dawg
Reposted by malibu barbie
shut the government down who give a fuck
September 30, 2025 at 10:30 PM
shut the government down who give a fuck