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Gaz

@gazchap.com

310 followers 230 following 3.6K posts

Software engineer (WordPress and Laravel), transport nerd, motorsport fan and wannabe comedian. Blog: https://gazchap.com WP Plugins: https://profiles.wordpress.org/gazchap/#content-plugins

gazchap.com

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 5m

Happy birthday dude!

Gaz @gazchap.com · 2h

Oh, boy. Time to post my favourite Amazon review.

An Amazon review for an Immac/Veet product, rated 5 stars, left by "Andrew". The review is titled "DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS" and was left on the 24th January 2012. It reads:

"Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB OR BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)"

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 12h

Oh, indeed! Daddy sends hugs!

Gaz @gazchap.com · 13h

Bacon sandwich sounds good, that’s my breakfast sorted!

Reposted by Gaz

MS-DOS Games, Programs, Trivia, Pixels, Grog @scumm-bar.bsky.social · 1d

Bliss 2.6.1
2023 by Lucas Pedrosa

A track editor for Stunts / 4D Sports Driving.
It offers many features not to be found in the native editor.

The download comes with three binaries - Linux (bliss), Win (bliss.exe) and MS-DOS (bliss. com).
Screenshots from DOS version.
www.raceforkicks.com/bliss/

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 16h

I used to do the same with an ex-colleague 😂 They don’t make ‘em like they used to!

Amazulu!
Oh, is that right? I’m a Glaswegian.

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

I’ll stop now, promise 😆

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

Meguts? Is that one of Ftumch’s workmates? ;)

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

We sow the seed, nature grows the seed, and then… we eat the seed! 😂

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

I watch them all relatively often but I don’t need to, it’s all burned in there.

I’ve just been round my neighbour’s house to borrow a drill, and he wasn’t in… so I broke in, and ate his fish tank… and I wasn’t even hungry!

You won’t catch me with me trousers!

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

My brothers do tell me, frequently, that I have a Forsyth-level chin on me… so that could be accurate!

Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

I always think one should do comedy completely straight, otherwise it just isn’t funny.

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Reposted by Gaz

Graham @cirriustech.co.uk · 1d

The image shows a Liz Truss seated at a table, writing in a notebook with a pen. She is dressed in a black outfit and appears focused on her task. The setting is elegant, with a floral arrangement and a framed portrait in the background, suggesting a formal or official environment. The walls are painted in a warm, peach tone, and a classic lamp adds to the sophisticated ambiance. Above the image, there is a caption in white text that reads, "Dear Diary, my first day at Microsoft was jolly exciting!"

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

It has been pointed out to me that I made a martial arts pun in this post.

Regrettably, it was completely unintentional. Which just doesn't feel right, somehow.

Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

Well, my new claim to fame is that I am the 6,593rd 1st Dan (I Degree) black belt in ITF taekwon-do here in the UK.

And don't I just look as pleased as punch about it.

A photo of my "ID card" style certificate from the International Taekwon-do Federation, certifying my rank of 1st Dan (I Degree). My photo on the card makes me look very nonplussed.

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

I wouldn't be thrilled about the idea of living next door to someone that fucks their sofa, but I would recognise that that's *my* problem, not theirs.

FactPost @factpostnews.bsky.social · 1d

Vance says it is "totally reasonable and acceptable" for people to not want to live next door to people who speak a different language than they do

Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

Little squirt. He does one advert, and thinks he's Dustin Hoffman.

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

Woof woof!

Reposted by Gaz

WHAT A FUCKING RECORD @whatafuckingrecord.bsky.social · 1d

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Reposted by Gaz

Angry People in Local Newspapers only spooky @apiln.bsky.social · 1d

Tough paper round.

Boy, 10, completes 66-mile cycle ride to raise thousands for RNLI.

Image shows a cyclist who is very much an adult.

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Reposted by Gaz

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 4d

Always thought my parents killed animals on the table in the back garden because they told us how much they sacrificed for us. I'd only ever heard that word in the context of the biblical story of Isaac. It turns out they didn't join the tennis club.

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Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

What a beaut.

Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

Wait, for reals?

Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

They’re still at it. No idea why this advert keeps showing in my feed, given my demographic.

Also, it’s just another example of AI being shoehorned into our lives. Well, parents’ lives…

An ad on Reddit for the Aptamil “Aptaclub AI Poo Checker”.

Gaz @gazchap.com · 1d

I’m on a train, and this is an accurate representation of how I feel about that right this minute.

a blue train with a yellow circle on the top of it

Alt: Thomas The Tank Engine looking angry and perturbed.

media.tenor.com