Dan Plagens has a newsletter
@danplagens.bsky.social
Allegedly funny writer-person with a sports newsletter and a screenwriting degree.
www.thebookofjobbed.com
www.thebookofjobbed.com
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Just once I’d like an athlete to say “hail Satan” at the beginning of a post game interview, is that too much to ask
December 9, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Just once I’d like an athlete to say “hail Satan” at the beginning of a post game interview, is that too much to ask
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It’s called Kryptonite, T. It’s this green shit that makes Superman piss his pants and fall over.
December 6, 2025 at 2:36 AM
It’s called Kryptonite, T. It’s this green shit that makes Superman piss his pants and fall over.
I saw a sign that read: “UCLA HEALTH STAYS #1 FOR THOSE WHO COME FIRST.” And I think that’s great but what about for those of us who come last???
December 5, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I saw a sign that read: “UCLA HEALTH STAYS #1 FOR THOSE WHO COME FIRST.” And I think that’s great but what about for those of us who come last???
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Arsenal fandom has been steadily rising in New York City, and it is the responsibility of the Mayor to ensure that New Yorkers who do not root for that particular team feel safe in their communities. defector.com/can-zohran-m...
Can Zohran Mamdani Keep New Yorkers Safe From Remembering Some Arsenal Guys? | Defector
Zohran Mamdani is weeks away from becoming Mayor of New York City. As someone who does not live in the city but nevertheless has a lot of opinions about what goes on there, I want his administration…
defector.com
November 27, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Arsenal fandom has been steadily rising in New York City, and it is the responsibility of the Mayor to ensure that New Yorkers who do not root for that particular team feel safe in their communities. defector.com/can-zohran-m...
Detroit Lions wide receiver room (2025)
November 27, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Detroit Lions wide receiver room (2025)
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people still talk about poverty/necessity as a competitive advantage for athletes, meanwhile every pro league is increasingly filled with the wealthy children of the last generation’s millionaire stars (this guy obviously included)
November 24, 2025 at 4:37 PM
people still talk about poverty/necessity as a competitive advantage for athletes, meanwhile every pro league is increasingly filled with the wealthy children of the last generation’s millionaire stars (this guy obviously included)
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Grok please jangle some shiny keys in front of my face. Nuance level zero
November 24, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Grok please jangle some shiny keys in front of my face. Nuance level zero
🎶 Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
ain’t so far down🎶
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
ain’t so far down🎶
November 23, 2025 at 9:27 AM
🎶 Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
ain’t so far down🎶
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
Maybe six feet
ain’t so far down🎶
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I don’t want to seem out of touch but I don’t actually understand the economy anymore.
November 18, 2025 at 3:23 AM
I don’t want to seem out of touch but I don’t actually understand the economy anymore.
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"Dasha got dropped by Gersh," I say to the elerly woman sitting next to me on the bus. "Can you believe that?" She empties an entire can of mace directly into my face instantly.
November 15, 2025 at 10:54 PM
"Dasha got dropped by Gersh," I say to the elerly woman sitting next to me on the bus. "Can you believe that?" She empties an entire can of mace directly into my face instantly.
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USC having to play goddamn IOWA on one of the roughly five rainy days in Los Angeles all year is such a bad beat, man. Program might be cursed
November 15, 2025 at 8:52 PM
USC having to play goddamn IOWA on one of the roughly five rainy days in Los Angeles all year is such a bad beat, man. Program might be cursed
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12 angry men but it’s about 12 very hungry guys arguing for 7 hours about throwing a sandwich at a cop. “By golly fellas, I just don’t think the mayo makes a difference.”
November 7, 2025 at 3:15 AM
12 angry men but it’s about 12 very hungry guys arguing for 7 hours about throwing a sandwich at a cop. “By golly fellas, I just don’t think the mayo makes a difference.”
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“I wish them the best in private life” is something I need an NBA player to say after knocking an opponent out of the playoffs
November 5, 2025 at 12:22 PM
“I wish them the best in private life” is something I need an NBA player to say after knocking an opponent out of the playoffs
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I can’t understand how we all got so politically detached. Half the men in this bar can’t be bothered to watch Vaush react to Ben Shapiro’s explanation of why his disapproval of Tucker Carlson’s interview with Nick Fuentes isn’t cancel culture
November 4, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I can’t understand how we all got so politically detached. Half the men in this bar can’t be bothered to watch Vaush react to Ben Shapiro’s explanation of why his disapproval of Tucker Carlson’s interview with Nick Fuentes isn’t cancel culture
The funniest part of the Bible is when Jesus feeds the multitudes and THERE ARE LEFTOVERS!
November 4, 2025 at 6:18 AM
The funniest part of the Bible is when Jesus feeds the multitudes and THERE ARE LEFTOVERS!
Michigan basketball coaches every time a possession lasts more than 5 seconds
November 4, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Michigan basketball coaches every time a possession lasts more than 5 seconds
World Series teams: *brawls*
Umpires: *putting hands on hips* now boys…
Umpires: *putting hands on hips* now boys…
November 2, 2025 at 1:58 AM
World Series teams: *brawls*
Umpires: *putting hands on hips* now boys…
Umpires: *putting hands on hips* now boys…
Reacting to the fumble
November 2, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Reacting to the fumble
Michigan playing like they’re hungover from Halloween
November 2, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Michigan playing like they’re hungover from Halloween
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This Bill Belichick UNC team is so cursed they’re outgaining their opponent 103 to negative 8 and losing
November 1, 2025 at 12:13 AM
This Bill Belichick UNC team is so cursed they’re outgaining their opponent 103 to negative 8 and losing
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Holy shit
WATCH: #Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry on who will 'not' be selecting the next coach of #LSUfootball #lagov #lalege #LouisianaFirstNews
October 29, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Holy shit
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House of Dynamite-style movie about the Twitter offices when Grok started calling itself 'MechaHitler'
October 26, 2025 at 11:37 PM
House of Dynamite-style movie about the Twitter offices when Grok started calling itself 'MechaHitler'