Dan Harmon
@danharmon.bsky.social
mudmonster struggling to achieve work/video game balance. The most effective way to punish, improve or usurp me is to deprive me of your insight
You bought “Farming Simulator 25” because
A. You just finished Farming Simulator 1 after 24 years
B. You were disappointed in Farming Simulator 24 but you heard Farming Simulator 25 combines the best elements of Farming Simulators 22 and 23
C. Gotta stay ahead of the inevitable workplace spoilers
A. You just finished Farming Simulator 1 after 24 years
B. You were disappointed in Farming Simulator 24 but you heard Farming Simulator 25 combines the best elements of Farming Simulators 22 and 23
C. Gotta stay ahead of the inevitable workplace spoilers
December 5, 2025 at 3:53 AM
You bought “Farming Simulator 25” because
A. You just finished Farming Simulator 1 after 24 years
B. You were disappointed in Farming Simulator 24 but you heard Farming Simulator 25 combines the best elements of Farming Simulators 22 and 23
C. Gotta stay ahead of the inevitable workplace spoilers
A. You just finished Farming Simulator 1 after 24 years
B. You were disappointed in Farming Simulator 24 but you heard Farming Simulator 25 combines the best elements of Farming Simulators 22 and 23
C. Gotta stay ahead of the inevitable workplace spoilers
One of my guilty sadistic pleasures is when my dogs go ape shit non stop barking because someone’s in the driveway and I open the door and they all see that it’s the dog grooming van and I’m like “oh you guys are right this IS exciting” and they’re all quietly like man fuck you
December 5, 2025 at 2:07 AM
One of my guilty sadistic pleasures is when my dogs go ape shit non stop barking because someone’s in the driveway and I open the door and they all see that it’s the dog grooming van and I’m like “oh you guys are right this IS exciting” and they’re all quietly like man fuck you
Don’t understand this, reposting to feel young
Why is it the worst player on the enemy team saying ez 95% of the time, like bro you got hard carried by your whole ass team
December 5, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Don’t understand this, reposting to feel young
Great now I’ll have “Born in Carolina, then deployed to China, King Tut” stuck in my head all day
Meet the head of a federal panel expected to upend the childhood vaccine schedule later this week. Dr. Kirk Milhoan believes that Covid was made in North Carolina and deployed to China as a bioweapon ... among other conspiracy theories. www.ms.now/news/rfk-jr-...
December 3, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Great now I’ll have “Born in Carolina, then deployed to China, King Tut” stuck in my head all day
Take the Dwemer Bowls, Lydia. Yes all 79. What do you mean “then what,” then we sell them, then we go back for the cups. And one day you’ll be a Thane and you can have YOUR housecarl return every dwarven bowl to every dwarven ruin and I HOPE you never feel pressured to defend that activity
December 2, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Take the Dwemer Bowls, Lydia. Yes all 79. What do you mean “then what,” then we sell them, then we go back for the cups. And one day you’ll be a Thane and you can have YOUR housecarl return every dwarven bowl to every dwarven ruin and I HOPE you never feel pressured to defend that activity
Winterhold Landlord: and here you see the previous Arch Mage had a garden of potion recipes imported from across Tamriel.
Me: (filling pockets) Hm? Oh cool that’ll make it easy to…teach…arcane..arts - (handing Lydia ten loaves of bread) take these too. Well MAKE room lady, you took an oath
Me: (filling pockets) Hm? Oh cool that’ll make it easy to…teach…arcane..arts - (handing Lydia ten loaves of bread) take these too. Well MAKE room lady, you took an oath
December 2, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Winterhold Landlord: and here you see the previous Arch Mage had a garden of potion recipes imported from across Tamriel.
Me: (filling pockets) Hm? Oh cool that’ll make it easy to…teach…arcane..arts - (handing Lydia ten loaves of bread) take these too. Well MAKE room lady, you took an oath
Me: (filling pockets) Hm? Oh cool that’ll make it easy to…teach…arcane..arts - (handing Lydia ten loaves of bread) take these too. Well MAKE room lady, you took an oath
We knew it was snowing and we technically chose to fly Delta so whatever happens, you’re free to victim blame
December 1, 2025 at 8:35 PM
We knew it was snowing and we technically chose to fly Delta so whatever happens, you’re free to victim blame
My nephew wants to play Fortnite with me instead of Minecraft this year and I know there’s a parallel to Highlander here but it’s not a direct one because I’m dying sooner than him but he’s starting to notice I’ve been 8 his whole life
November 30, 2025 at 8:45 PM
My nephew wants to play Fortnite with me instead of Minecraft this year and I know there’s a parallel to Highlander here but it’s not a direct one because I’m dying sooner than him but he’s starting to notice I’ve been 8 his whole life
Reposted by Dan Harmon
"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
November 29, 2025 at 8:51 PM
"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
"no problem boss. i'm on it"
When did everyone switch from “I appreciate it” to “I appreciate you?”
November 30, 2025 at 5:58 PM
When did everyone switch from “I appreciate it” to “I appreciate you?”
Some things I assume happened in Wicked 1 based on seeing Wicked 2:
1. The “Gravity” Song
2. Galinda leaping onto a grenade intended for Elpheba
3. Basic rundown of Oz governmental/economic structure
4. The Wizard spraying everyone and himself with an elixir that prevents direct communication
1. The “Gravity” Song
2. Galinda leaping onto a grenade intended for Elpheba
3. Basic rundown of Oz governmental/economic structure
4. The Wizard spraying everyone and himself with an elixir that prevents direct communication
November 29, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Some things I assume happened in Wicked 1 based on seeing Wicked 2:
1. The “Gravity” Song
2. Galinda leaping onto a grenade intended for Elpheba
3. Basic rundown of Oz governmental/economic structure
4. The Wizard spraying everyone and himself with an elixir that prevents direct communication
1. The “Gravity” Song
2. Galinda leaping onto a grenade intended for Elpheba
3. Basic rundown of Oz governmental/economic structure
4. The Wizard spraying everyone and himself with an elixir that prevents direct communication
If you watched Wicked 2 last night in Kansas City I’m sorry about my cocktail. I was trying to be a good uncle and support Wicked Culture, I was not told the themed cocktail had light bulb cubes brighter than an iPhone screen. I put my jacket over it. Also did not know Wicked 1 contained vital info
November 29, 2025 at 7:08 PM
If you watched Wicked 2 last night in Kansas City I’m sorry about my cocktail. I was trying to be a good uncle and support Wicked Culture, I was not told the themed cocktail had light bulb cubes brighter than an iPhone screen. I put my jacket over it. Also did not know Wicked 1 contained vital info
Maybe he thinks you can unplug your approval rating and plug it back in again
November 29, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Maybe he thinks you can unplug your approval rating and plug it back in again
I sense people using ChatGPT to compose “rebuttals” in social media exchanges. Spelling and apostrophe usage briefly surging to 9th grade levels mid argument. I would welcome those people using technology to refine their FIRST thoughts
November 28, 2025 at 10:42 PM
I sense people using ChatGPT to compose “rebuttals” in social media exchanges. Spelling and apostrophe usage briefly surging to 9th grade levels mid argument. I would welcome those people using technology to refine their FIRST thoughts
it never would have occurred to me to count the crucifixion as a suicide by cop so i am quote reposting this because this observation deserves full credit. Not because i agree that crucifixion is a cop out. It looks like it really, really REALLY hurts in every movie and musical I’ve seen
considering the OGesus himself took the cop out cop out I should think so
November 27, 2025 at 9:31 PM
it never would have occurred to me to count the crucifixion as a suicide by cop so i am quote reposting this because this observation deserves full credit. Not because i agree that crucifixion is a cop out. It looks like it really, really REALLY hurts in every movie and musical I’ve seen
I have “suicide by cop” questions that will never get answered because the people I need to ask are dead or angels
November 25, 2025 at 8:40 AM
I have “suicide by cop” questions that will never get answered because the people I need to ask are dead or angels
Reposted by Dan Harmon
It’s pronounced Christmas jifts
November 25, 2025 at 1:04 AM
It’s pronounced Christmas jifts
I keep a fake half finished script on my laptop that’s very critical of humanity so if the robots win I can claim any anti-robot decisions I made were just research for satirical purposes
November 25, 2025 at 1:02 AM
I keep a fake half finished script on my laptop that’s very critical of humanity so if the robots win I can claim any anti-robot decisions I made were just research for satirical purposes
We’re going to open the files and we’re all going to be in them. Everyone on Earth but him. The last page will be his 3 star review of our universe - “gets boring after you’re president” and as I look down at my pixelated, fragmenting hands, my final thought will be “I could have just made tables”
November 20, 2025 at 5:51 PM
We’re going to open the files and we’re all going to be in them. Everyone on Earth but him. The last page will be his 3 star review of our universe - “gets boring after you’re president” and as I look down at my pixelated, fragmenting hands, my final thought will be “I could have just made tables”
Reposted by Dan Harmon
[dying] Bruce you’re gonna be okay
I’ll avenge you dad
Don’t worry son be good for Alfred
I’m gonna dress up like a Bat, father
I … what
I’ll fight clowns for you
A lot of blood … Am I hallucinating
Instead of getting married I will practice defusing exploding mechanical penguins I love you
I’ll avenge you dad
Don’t worry son be good for Alfred
I’m gonna dress up like a Bat, father
I … what
I’ll fight clowns for you
A lot of blood … Am I hallucinating
Instead of getting married I will practice defusing exploding mechanical penguins I love you
November 19, 2025 at 7:23 AM
[dying] Bruce you’re gonna be okay
I’ll avenge you dad
Don’t worry son be good for Alfred
I’m gonna dress up like a Bat, father
I … what
I’ll fight clowns for you
A lot of blood … Am I hallucinating
Instead of getting married I will practice defusing exploding mechanical penguins I love you
I’ll avenge you dad
Don’t worry son be good for Alfred
I’m gonna dress up like a Bat, father
I … what
I’ll fight clowns for you
A lot of blood … Am I hallucinating
Instead of getting married I will practice defusing exploding mechanical penguins I love you
had to google this: when you “get pregnant” in the Matrix, during your fake pregnancy, a real baby is conceived in its own pod. This baby is genetically unrelated to you but is assigned to you in the role of your child, after its fake birth, with an “avatar” assigned to it resembling its parents.
November 16, 2025 at 6:01 PM
had to google this: when you “get pregnant” in the Matrix, during your fake pregnancy, a real baby is conceived in its own pod. This baby is genetically unrelated to you but is assigned to you in the role of your child, after its fake birth, with an “avatar” assigned to it resembling its parents.
Michael Wolfe All Along
November 15, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Michael Wolfe All Along
Me: i should take a mental health break from politics and and true crime, time to bask in the healing waters of science
Max Tegmark: your entire life has been a hallucination made of math
Max Tegmark: your entire life has been a hallucination made of math
November 11, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Me: i should take a mental health break from politics and and true crime, time to bask in the healing waters of science
Max Tegmark: your entire life has been a hallucination made of math
Max Tegmark: your entire life has been a hallucination made of math
Tried explaining to Cody that I work in an office where Pluribus spoilers will be …unavoidable…but The Americans became her crack once Elizabeth asked Phillip to bone her “as Clark.” I’ll just wear earmuffs to work for now
November 10, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Tried explaining to Cody that I work in an office where Pluribus spoilers will be …unavoidable…but The Americans became her crack once Elizabeth asked Phillip to bone her “as Clark.” I’ll just wear earmuffs to work for now
Reposted by Dan Harmon
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
November 8, 2025 at 6:32 PM
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”