Neal Champion
@champ.org.uk
Motorcyclist and ex-racer, left-leaning, Europhile, musician
Reposted by Neal Champion
This took me fucking ages
![1
[Scene is a GREGGS interior. A lone MAN, the only customer in the shop, is standing at counter]
MAN:
Please can I have a sausage roll.
2
GREGGS SHOP ASSISTANT:
Certainly sir
[She pulls a leaver on the panini machine and WOOSH the man disappears through a trapdoor].
Whoosh
3
[The MAN appears through a chute in an underground bunker. A voice from off-scene greets him]:
Welcome, friend
4
[We see the voice is of a military-looking resistance COMMANDER with a moustache]
COMMANDER:
You said "please can I have" instead of “can I get”…
So now you're one of us.
5
MAN:
W-where am I ...?
[We see him looking at a hi tech UNDERGROUND MILITARY BUNKER - it has resistance vibes, and has lots of screens with maps etc]
6
COMMANDER:
You've joined the resistance…
...against people saying things all American.
7
COMMANDER:
We are an underground network of sleeper agents poised to have a right go at young people the moment they say "mom" or "bangs”.
8
LIEUTENANT [Staring at screen]:
Agent 244 has just given a Zoomer in Halifax the “could/couldn't care less" speech, sir
COMMANDER:
Very good
9
[Show the map of the UK with digital pop ups on it saying ‘GOTTEN’, ‘ZEE’, ‘MATH’ etc
COMMANDER:
You may have heard our name... We are...
10
COMMANDER:
...the Fight Against New Yankee Pronunciations and Americanisms Corrupting the King's English!
11
[Show the military command center panel. It says on the wall in big metal letters]:
F.A.N.Y.P.A.C.K.E.
12
MAN
You've called yourselves the 'Fanny Pack'
COMMANDER:
We didn't spot the acronym
[/end]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreianaxlutkih4rysx6l37rru2cic64wiirt4fd2jss5xlxsulixlou@jpeg)
February 2, 2026 at 10:25 PM
This took me fucking ages
Reposted by Neal Champion
Great line from critic William Bibbiani: '“Melania” is the feature film version of that wedding video in “Love Actually,” the one where the best man spent the whole event obsessively filming the bride… Ratner look more invested in Melania than her husband, which is a really weird vibe to shoot for.'
February 2, 2026 at 1:41 PM
Great line from critic William Bibbiani: '“Melania” is the feature film version of that wedding video in “Love Actually,” the one where the best man spent the whole event obsessively filming the bride… Ratner look more invested in Melania than her husband, which is a really weird vibe to shoot for.'
Reposted by Neal Champion
I too have had such trouble changing a duvet cover.
February 2, 2026 at 9:13 AM
I too have had such trouble changing a duvet cover.
Reposted by Neal Champion
I score weddings and funerals on a scale of 1 to 5 stars. Funerals always score more highly. They're cheap, you get time off work, there's free food, and you don't have to buy a present. You get to meet all the same people as at weddings and there's no shitty disco.
February 2, 2026 at 9:20 AM
I score weddings and funerals on a scale of 1 to 5 stars. Funerals always score more highly. They're cheap, you get time off work, there's free food, and you don't have to buy a present. You get to meet all the same people as at weddings and there's no shitty disco.
Reposted by Neal Champion
It’s understandably easy to be frustrated with HM Government but don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Good piece in @bylinetimes.bsky.social by Prof Chris Painter… bylinetimes.com/2026/01/29/k...
Keir Starmer’s Labour Government Is Much Better Than the Media Admits
There is a deep disconnect between the Government's actions to improve the country and its standing in the polls, argues Professor Chris Painter
bylinetimes.com
January 31, 2026 at 7:57 AM
It’s understandably easy to be frustrated with HM Government but don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Good piece in @bylinetimes.bsky.social by Prof Chris Painter… bylinetimes.com/2026/01/29/k...
Reposted by Neal Champion
Electing Trump and supporting MAGA was essentially a murder-suicide pact.
February 1, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Electing Trump and supporting MAGA was essentially a murder-suicide pact.
Reposted by Neal Champion
transmission from the csam hellsite
February 1, 2026 at 8:42 PM
transmission from the csam hellsite
Reposted by Neal Champion
Yesterday, five-year-old Liam and his dad Adrian were released from Dilley detention center. I picked them up last night and escorted them back to Minnesota this morning.
Liam is now home. With his hat and his backpack.
Liam is now home. With his hat and his backpack.
February 1, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Yesterday, five-year-old Liam and his dad Adrian were released from Dilley detention center. I picked them up last night and escorted them back to Minnesota this morning.
Liam is now home. With his hat and his backpack.
Liam is now home. With his hat and his backpack.
Reposted by Neal Champion
My daughter Millie impressed with her birthday pressie 🤣
February 1, 2026 at 1:57 PM
My daughter Millie impressed with her birthday pressie 🤣
Reposted by Neal Champion
Civil litigator here with years of experience of business people’s emails to each other in disclosed evidence for disputes.
As a general rule: the senior the business person, the less effort they put into emails, and the more effort expected from those reading them.
Effectively a mark of rank.
As a general rule: the senior the business person, the less effort they put into emails, and the more effort expected from those reading them.
Effectively a mark of rank.
"why are these rich freaks so bad at writing emails?"
because they've never had to be good enough at it to keep paying rent
because they've never had to be good enough at it to keep paying rent
February 1, 2026 at 11:05 AM
Civil litigator here with years of experience of business people’s emails to each other in disclosed evidence for disputes.
As a general rule: the senior the business person, the less effort they put into emails, and the more effort expected from those reading them.
Effectively a mark of rank.
As a general rule: the senior the business person, the less effort they put into emails, and the more effort expected from those reading them.
Effectively a mark of rank.
Reposted by Neal Champion
"I can be a pedophile all on my own" is not the flex he thinks it is.
February 1, 2026 at 10:05 AM
"I can be a pedophile all on my own" is not the flex he thinks it is.
This is a great thread on 15 minute cities and the right wing conspiracy theories which have sprung up around them
Ok, let’s do this🙄
We’ll start with an explainer covering:
🕒What is a 15-minute city
🏫What on Earth is going on with Oxford
👽Where the conspiracy theories have come from
And then we’ll look at the Telegraph article
🧵
1/25
We’ll start with an explainer covering:
🕒What is a 15-minute city
🏫What on Earth is going on with Oxford
👽Where the conspiracy theories have come from
And then we’ll look at the Telegraph article
🧵
1/25
February 1, 2026 at 1:33 PM
This is a great thread on 15 minute cities and the right wing conspiracy theories which have sprung up around them
Reposted by Neal Champion
I guess "white wealthy British and American grooming gangs" doesn't have the same ring to it
January 31, 2026 at 2:04 PM
I guess "white wealthy British and American grooming gangs" doesn't have the same ring to it
Reposted by Neal Champion
Noticeable absence of asylum seekers, trans people and drag queens listed as child rapists in the files.
Pretty much all very rich, very powerful and very white men.
Almost as if that’s who the problem has always fucking been, isn’t it?
Pretty much all very rich, very powerful and very white men.
Almost as if that’s who the problem has always fucking been, isn’t it?
January 31, 2026 at 11:14 PM
Noticeable absence of asylum seekers, trans people and drag queens listed as child rapists in the files.
Pretty much all very rich, very powerful and very white men.
Almost as if that’s who the problem has always fucking been, isn’t it?
Pretty much all very rich, very powerful and very white men.
Almost as if that’s who the problem has always fucking been, isn’t it?
Reposted by Neal Champion
My mum had bombs dropped on her as a child. My dad bled on a beach in battle. I'm not yet bored of rules-based coexistence, because anger isn't the same as education, history isn't a comic, and interesting times don't just happen to someone else.
January 31, 2026 at 11:18 PM
My mum had bombs dropped on her as a child. My dad bled on a beach in battle. I'm not yet bored of rules-based coexistence, because anger isn't the same as education, history isn't a comic, and interesting times don't just happen to someone else.
I would love to hear @davidallengreen.bsky.social's take on this
The order is only 2 pages and it's drippppping with contempt, everyone should read it
February 1, 2026 at 1:03 AM
I would love to hear @davidallengreen.bsky.social's take on this
Reposted by Neal Champion
We are Christopher Isherwood, watching neighbours inform on neighbours from our apartment above.
January 31, 2026 at 10:22 PM
We are Christopher Isherwood, watching neighbours inform on neighbours from our apartment above.
Reposted by Neal Champion
I've said this before, but if you send me a voice note I will just not listen to it. Sorry (not sorry).
January 31, 2026 at 6:58 PM
I've said this before, but if you send me a voice note I will just not listen to it. Sorry (not sorry).
Reposted by Neal Champion
ICYMI: Euro firms must ditch Uncle Sam's clouds and go EU‑native
Euro firms must ditch Uncle Sam's clouds and go EU‑native
Just because you're paranoid about digital sovereignty doesn't mean they're not after you
Opinion I'm an eighth-generation American, and let me tell you, I wouldn't trust my data, secrets, or services to a US company these days for love or money. Under our current government, we're simply not trustworthy.…
dlvr.it
January 31, 2026 at 5:47 PM
ICYMI: Euro firms must ditch Uncle Sam's clouds and go EU‑native
Reposted by Neal Champion
Everyone's going to have a favourite bit from a Melania review. This is mine so far.
January 31, 2026 at 11:03 AM
Everyone's going to have a favourite bit from a Melania review. This is mine so far.
Reposted by Neal Champion
Musk has been spamming crap about SpaceX and Grok all day but now every single reply to any of his posts is someone calling him a pedophile. the stage has been set for something historic
January 31, 2026 at 1:49 AM
Musk has been spamming crap about SpaceX and Grok all day but now every single reply to any of his posts is someone calling him a pedophile. the stage has been set for something historic
Reposted by Neal Champion
NEW: The @wired.com Security desk put together a comprehensive guide to filming ICE—with tips for reducing risk at the forefront. No paywall, but please consider subscribing to help find these kinds of resources. And stay safe out there. www.wired.com/story/how-to...
www.wired.com/v2/offers/wi...
www.wired.com/v2/offers/wi...
How to Film ICE
Filming federal agents in public is legal, but avoiding a dangerous—even deadly—confrontation isn’t guaranteed. Here’s how to record ICE and CBP agents as safely as possible and have an impact.
www.wired.com
January 31, 2026 at 10:55 AM
NEW: The @wired.com Security desk put together a comprehensive guide to filming ICE—with tips for reducing risk at the forefront. No paywall, but please consider subscribing to help find these kinds of resources. And stay safe out there. www.wired.com/story/how-to...
www.wired.com/v2/offers/wi...
www.wired.com/v2/offers/wi...
Reposted by Neal Champion
I enjoyed reading this column, which somehow blames Keir Starmer for the result of an employment tribunal following laws passed under the Tory government regarding an incident and suspension that took place before the last election.
January 31, 2026 at 2:48 PM
I enjoyed reading this column, which somehow blames Keir Starmer for the result of an employment tribunal following laws passed under the Tory government regarding an incident and suspension that took place before the last election.
Reposted by Neal Champion
Perhaps, due to one of Epstein's typos, Musk thought it was a "pedalo island" and was keen to have fun with a bunch of massive pedalos
January 31, 2026 at 3:02 PM
Perhaps, due to one of Epstein's typos, Musk thought it was a "pedalo island" and was keen to have fun with a bunch of massive pedalos
Reposted by Neal Champion
New from me: It is not just that the US is experiencing democratic backsliding. Authoritarianism has emerged more quickly than in other benchmark countries.
This graph from John Burn-Murdoch sums it up. 🧵
donmoynihan.substack.com/p/autocracy-...
This graph from John Burn-Murdoch sums it up. 🧵
donmoynihan.substack.com/p/autocracy-...
January 31, 2026 at 3:12 PM
New from me: It is not just that the US is experiencing democratic backsliding. Authoritarianism has emerged more quickly than in other benchmark countries.
This graph from John Burn-Murdoch sums it up. 🧵
donmoynihan.substack.com/p/autocracy-...
This graph from John Burn-Murdoch sums it up. 🧵
donmoynihan.substack.com/p/autocracy-...