Ben (please clap)
@ben.vampirefriday.org
General nerd in the PNW. Amateur musician. Former photographer. Occasional podcaster but we don't have to talk about that. He/They
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
we have a president who only does good things when everyone calls him a pedophile. our mission for the next 3 years is clear.
November 14, 2025 at 11:24 PM
we have a president who only does good things when everyone calls him a pedophile. our mission for the next 3 years is clear.
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
![4-panel vertical comic. (1) 100 Years Ago [two people standing next to bicycle with small car nearby] PERSON 1: It’s too dangerous riding a bike with these cars around. I should get a car, too. (2) 50 Years Ago [two people between smaller car and bigger car] PERSON 2 with short hair: Small cars are less safe in collisions with larger vehicles, so I should get a bigger one. (3) Today [two people between big car and even bigger car] PERSON 1: Everyone has huge SUVs now. If I don’t get the biggest one, I’m putting my family at risk. (4) Soon [two people next to large armored car with spiked clubs attached] PERSON 2: If I don’t install more whirling spike clubs, I’ll be destroyed by all the other drivers who...](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreiby6can6k76yzfmv2czxs4pu2l7zie7bqbrpswi7h3ifmiadkuqvu@jpeg)
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
everyone should have a walkup song to their desk at work
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
everyone should have a walkup song to their desk at work
Me: I went to a book release event last night.
Coworker 1: What book?
Me, unsure how they’ll take it: Uhhh it’s called “Life After Cars: Freeing Ourselves from the Tyranny of the Automobile”
Coworker 1: God I wish we could do that.
Coworker 2: that book sounds rad.
Me: <relieved>
Coworker 1: What book?
Me, unsure how they’ll take it: Uhhh it’s called “Life After Cars: Freeing Ourselves from the Tyranny of the Automobile”
Coworker 1: God I wish we could do that.
Coworker 2: that book sounds rad.
Me: <relieved>
November 14, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Me: I went to a book release event last night.
Coworker 1: What book?
Me, unsure how they’ll take it: Uhhh it’s called “Life After Cars: Freeing Ourselves from the Tyranny of the Automobile”
Coworker 1: God I wish we could do that.
Coworker 2: that book sounds rad.
Me: <relieved>
Coworker 1: What book?
Me, unsure how they’ll take it: Uhhh it’s called “Life After Cars: Freeing Ourselves from the Tyranny of the Automobile”
Coworker 1: God I wish we could do that.
Coworker 2: that book sounds rad.
Me: <relieved>
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
November 14, 2025 at 4:06 AM
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.
November 14, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
So the streamer Ludwig recently found out that one of his earliest regular viewers, who was trans, passed away and tonight he's doing a charity stream for the Trevor Project. So far he's raised over $46,000 in about 5 hours. www.twitch.tv/ludwig
November 14, 2025 at 3:21 AM
So the streamer Ludwig recently found out that one of his earliest regular viewers, who was trans, passed away and tonight he's doing a charity stream for the Trevor Project. So far he's raised over $46,000 in about 5 hours. www.twitch.tv/ludwig
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
November 13, 2025 at 11:33 AM
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
There is nobody on earth that I love, respect, admire, or care about enough to say they should not also be brought down in flames if they are in the files. Not a one. Let em all burn.
Important note: I neither love, respect, admire, nor care about Bill Clinton anyway tbh
Important note: I neither love, respect, admire, nor care about Bill Clinton anyway tbh
"BUT BILL CLINTON IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES" okay man arrest him too
November 12, 2025 at 11:36 PM
There is nobody on earth that I love, respect, admire, or care about enough to say they should not also be brought down in flames if they are in the files. Not a one. Let em all burn.
Important note: I neither love, respect, admire, nor care about Bill Clinton anyway tbh
Important note: I neither love, respect, admire, nor care about Bill Clinton anyway tbh
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
QAnon: The powerful pedophiles have invented elaborate codes to secretly discuss their crimes that require decades of interpretation
Actual powerful pedophile: Hey Jeff hope this email find you well last week was great so when we meeting up to do pedophilia again
Actual powerful pedophile: Hey Jeff hope this email find you well last week was great so when we meeting up to do pedophilia again
November 12, 2025 at 10:42 PM
QAnon: The powerful pedophiles have invented elaborate codes to secretly discuss their crimes that require decades of interpretation
Actual powerful pedophile: Hey Jeff hope this email find you well last week was great so when we meeting up to do pedophilia again
Actual powerful pedophile: Hey Jeff hope this email find you well last week was great so when we meeting up to do pedophilia again
“Please please please I do not want you to release the thing that I am in no way a part of and/or exonerates me from one of the most heinous crimes possible. You should definitely not release that please I am begging you despite exonerating me” -a thing normal cool innocent dudes say
this should be obvious but the reason Trump is working desperately against Epstein transparency is because he's guilty
November 12, 2025 at 7:45 PM
“Please please please I do not want you to release the thing that I am in no way a part of and/or exonerates me from one of the most heinous crimes possible. You should definitely not release that please I am begging you despite exonerating me” -a thing normal cool innocent dudes say
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
this should be obvious but the reason Trump is working desperately against Epstein transparency is because he's guilty
November 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
this should be obvious but the reason Trump is working desperately against Epstein transparency is because he's guilty
I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell on the Citadel.
November 12, 2025 at 7:39 PM
I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell on the Citadel.
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
Happy Exploding Whale Day! Get out there and make it count.
50 years ago, today, a whale exploded on an Oregon beach. 20 years later, before social media or video sharing sights or smartphones, it would become the first viral Internet video.
We sent it to each other in the mail.
The History of Exploding Whales Is the History of the Internet Itself
We sent it to each other in the mail.
The History of Exploding Whales Is the History of the Internet Itself
The History of Exploding Whales Is the History of the Internet Itself
My first whale video came in the form of a VHS tape mailed to me by a stranger from the internet.
www.vice.com
November 12, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Happy Exploding Whale Day! Get out there and make it count.
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
they can have James Bond just be a sentient jar filled with teeth and plasma
November 12, 2025 at 4:02 PM
they can have James Bond just be a sentient jar filled with teeth and plasma
The worst part of living in Portland is that any time anything cool is happening in the sky between October and April, sorry but no it isn’t.
November 12, 2025 at 4:43 AM
The worst part of living in Portland is that any time anything cool is happening in the sky between October and April, sorry but no it isn’t.
Counterpoint: yes nudes.
November 11, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Counterpoint: yes nudes.
Counterpoint: It’s James Bond so yes you can nobody will give a shit.
“Wow, Q’s new VR device to simulate what it’s like to be poisoned and blown to pieces works great. Now I’m going to see what else it can simulate being blown” then he puts the VR back on and you hear the famous Bond theme sting.
“Wow, Q’s new VR device to simulate what it’s like to be poisoned and blown to pieces works great. Now I’m going to see what else it can simulate being blown” then he puts the VR back on and you hear the famous Bond theme sting.
James Bond’s death in No Time to Die is causing a nightmare for the next film. Writers are stuck because Bond “was blown to pieces.”
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
Anthony Horowitz, author of three 007 novels, says:
“You can't have him wake up in shower and saying it was all a dream."
radaronline.com/p/james-bond...
November 11, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Counterpoint: It’s James Bond so yes you can nobody will give a shit.
“Wow, Q’s new VR device to simulate what it’s like to be poisoned and blown to pieces works great. Now I’m going to see what else it can simulate being blown” then he puts the VR back on and you hear the famous Bond theme sting.
“Wow, Q’s new VR device to simulate what it’s like to be poisoned and blown to pieces works great. Now I’m going to see what else it can simulate being blown” then he puts the VR back on and you hear the famous Bond theme sting.
"Sure we suck and we never win anything, but fear not, America, we'll be back to lose another day."
CNN: Was the shutdown worth it?
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: We have waged a battle on behalf of the American people.
CNN: But you didn't get what you want.
JEFFRIES: At the end of the day, the fight lives on.
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: We have waged a battle on behalf of the American people.
CNN: But you didn't get what you want.
JEFFRIES: At the end of the day, the fight lives on.
November 11, 2025 at 1:02 AM
"Sure we suck and we never win anything, but fear not, America, we'll be back to lose another day."
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
a few months ago I said "having generative AI handle absolutely anything with regards to healthcare is a nightmare and should be banned" and a bunch of people made fun of me and called me stupid. anyways,
November 10, 2025 at 4:00 PM
a few months ago I said "having generative AI handle absolutely anything with regards to healthcare is a nightmare and should be banned" and a bunch of people made fun of me and called me stupid. anyways,
You, a person who cares what old dead guys thought: The founding fathers would not want this
Me, a person who knows that eating a full meal at Taco Bell would have immediately killed Thomas Jefferson: cool story bro
Me, a person who knows that eating a full meal at Taco Bell would have immediately killed Thomas Jefferson: cool story bro
November 10, 2025 at 8:23 PM
You, a person who cares what old dead guys thought: The founding fathers would not want this
Me, a person who knows that eating a full meal at Taco Bell would have immediately killed Thomas Jefferson: cool story bro
Me, a person who knows that eating a full meal at Taco Bell would have immediately killed Thomas Jefferson: cool story bro
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
Reposted by Ben (please clap)
history will ultimately decide this but i think joyce carol oates might have just landed the most devastating burn in human history. like the death star trench run of posting
November 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
history will ultimately decide this but i think joyce carol oates might have just landed the most devastating burn in human history. like the death star trench run of posting