Asstown Baker
@asstownbakery.bsky.social
Asstown resident and owner of the Asstown Bakery. One of these days I will jump through my own asshole. Anxious and sexy. I like fruity people and outdoor showers
Skeets: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaonwhdmx2o2
Skeets: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaonwhdmx2o2
Pinned
Asstown Baker
@asstownbakery.bsky.social
· Jan 17
Syphilis?? Isn’t that that one dude that keeps rolling that big ass rock up that there hill?
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Of course I don’t post selfies. Like normal people my age I grew up hating the way I looked
November 6, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Of course I don’t post selfies. Like normal people my age I grew up hating the way I looked
Who up playing harmonica and banging their tin cup against the bars of horny jail?
November 9, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Who up playing harmonica and banging their tin cup against the bars of horny jail?
Reposted by Asstown Baker
who up getting downright psychotic in their notes app
November 8, 2025 at 8:56 AM
who up getting downright psychotic in their notes app
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Massage place in my extremely Amish town just got busted for jacking people off
November 4, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Massage place in my extremely Amish town just got busted for jacking people off
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Me, with no evidence whatsoever, “omg she hates me”
November 7, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Me, with no evidence whatsoever, “omg she hates me”
I love to bitch and moan about my period dramatically like the exact opposite of a dainty proper lady
November 7, 2025 at 4:53 AM
I love to bitch and moan about my period dramatically like the exact opposite of a dainty proper lady
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Fuck runny eggs, I mean I am happy for those of you who like them but no they gross me out
November 1, 2025 at 6:08 AM
Fuck runny eggs, I mean I am happy for those of you who like them but no they gross me out
My ex husband was always threatening to file a grievance blah de bloo 🙄
November 1, 2025 at 6:04 AM
My ex husband was always threatening to file a grievance blah de bloo 🙄
Reposted by Asstown Baker
genuinely: it is fine and good for teenagers to go out trick-or-treating
let them enjoy their youth!
let them enjoy their youth!
November 1, 2025 at 12:33 AM
genuinely: it is fine and good for teenagers to go out trick-or-treating
let them enjoy their youth!
let them enjoy their youth!
I want to make sex with my boyfriend in the Overlook Hotel Hedge Maze
November 1, 2025 at 5:53 AM
I want to make sex with my boyfriend in the Overlook Hotel Hedge Maze
Ok I don’t find Shining Shelley Duvall sexy at all but I can see how some people might
November 1, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Ok I don’t find Shining Shelley Duvall sexy at all but I can see how some people might
*asking for a reasonable accommodation at work from HR because i don’t have any friends in real life
November 1, 2025 at 5:04 AM
*asking for a reasonable accommodation at work from HR because i don’t have any friends in real life
Reposted by Asstown Baker
This is monumental.
October 30, 2025 at 3:47 AM
This is monumental.
Reposted by Asstown Baker
Taking a leave of absence from work to focus on alchemy
October 29, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Taking a leave of absence from work to focus on alchemy
Oh no no no, a good cult has to have some sex in it, Heaven’s Gate you done fucked up
October 28, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Oh no no no, a good cult has to have some sex in it, Heaven’s Gate you done fucked up
Grokipedia sounds like the stupidest most edgelord idea ever right now
October 28, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Grokipedia sounds like the stupidest most edgelord idea ever right now
The fruitiest woodwind? Probably the flute
October 28, 2025 at 6:49 AM
The fruitiest woodwind? Probably the flute
Reposted by Asstown Baker
cups are bullshit, if anything sports should have exposed penis and balls
October 28, 2025 at 6:25 AM
cups are bullshit, if anything sports should have exposed penis and balls
Reposted by Asstown Baker
If you’re ever wondering why I don’t communicate well, I can just tell you that my mother once yelled at me for saying something sucked, and when I asked why (I was 7 or 8) and she STAGE WHISPERED “It’s a reference to ORAL SEX” and when I asked what oral sex was, she stormed out of the room.
October 28, 2025 at 6:28 AM
If you’re ever wondering why I don’t communicate well, I can just tell you that my mother once yelled at me for saying something sucked, and when I asked why (I was 7 or 8) and she STAGE WHISPERED “It’s a reference to ORAL SEX” and when I asked what oral sex was, she stormed out of the room.
We need a new space cult
October 28, 2025 at 6:12 AM
We need a new space cult
Ok I admit that I’m a tad high but lol i don’t give a shit about Pennyworth, the origins of Batman’s friggin butler lolol I mean should I care? Is it low key a good show?
October 28, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Ok I admit that I’m a tad high but lol i don’t give a shit about Pennyworth, the origins of Batman’s friggin butler lolol I mean should I care? Is it low key a good show?