Aspen Junge
@aspenjunge.bsky.social
Trying to save the world one carefully crafted briefing memo at a time. I read phone books for a living.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
I'm suddenly wondering why nobody has written a second chance romance film for Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton and damn it brb I'm busy now
May 21, 2025 at 4:06 PM
I'm suddenly wondering why nobody has written a second chance romance film for Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton and damn it brb I'm busy now
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Happy Saturnalia today? 🤔
December 17, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Happy Saturnalia today? 🤔
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Any Democrat who thinks it's appropriate to "find common ground" with the Republicans on issues like high school sports teams is negotiating with a political party that does not believe trans people should exist. This policy will kill people, so maybe stop wringing your hands about volleyball.
"Men are men. Men can never become women. Women are women. Women can never become men."
December 18, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Any Democrat who thinks it's appropriate to "find common ground" with the Republicans on issues like high school sports teams is negotiating with a political party that does not believe trans people should exist. This policy will kill people, so maybe stop wringing your hands about volleyball.
Because using your brainstorm to do the FUN part of creating is the problem we're trying to solve.
Anyone who supports this is an embarrassment. "Instead of typing it out they'll generate their idea"? Are you insane?
Call yourself whatever you want but you aren't creatives, that's for sure.
Call yourself whatever you want but you aren't creatives, that's for sure.
December 18, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Because using your brainstorm to do the FUN part of creating is the problem we're trying to solve.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Anyone who supports this is an embarrassment. "Instead of typing it out they'll generate their idea"? Are you insane?
Call yourself whatever you want but you aren't creatives, that's for sure.
Call yourself whatever you want but you aren't creatives, that's for sure.
December 18, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Anyone who supports this is an embarrassment. "Instead of typing it out they'll generate their idea"? Are you insane?
Call yourself whatever you want but you aren't creatives, that's for sure.
Call yourself whatever you want but you aren't creatives, that's for sure.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
This entire administration is running off a fear of cooties.
The public: "We are desperate for help with the cost of living. Please do something."
Trump administration: "Penis."
Trump administration: "Penis."
"Men are men. Men can never become women. Women are women. Women can never become men."
December 18, 2025 at 6:10 PM
This entire administration is running off a fear of cooties.
Replace "Nome King" with just about anybody in the Trump administration. L. Frank Baum knew what he was talking about.
December 18, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Replace "Nome King" with just about anybody in the Trump administration. L. Frank Baum knew what he was talking about.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Reposted by Aspen Junge
🤣
When not in use, the Rubio is powered down and placed in a corner.
December 17, 2025 at 2:58 PM
🤣
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Virginia Heffernan wrote this shortly after the 2016 election and it still holds true
December 16, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Virginia Heffernan wrote this shortly after the 2016 election and it still holds true
Reposted by Aspen Junge
I was cackling evilly as my students shivered in their shoulder-cutout and backless sweaters during the final exam, while I sat comfortably, swathed in corduroy pants, waffle shirt, and a fleece vest.
Cringe comes to us all. We might as well be happy and comfortable when it does.
Cringe comes to us all. We might as well be happy and comfortable when it does.
December 16, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I was cackling evilly as my students shivered in their shoulder-cutout and backless sweaters during the final exam, while I sat comfortably, swathed in corduroy pants, waffle shirt, and a fleece vest.
Cringe comes to us all. We might as well be happy and comfortable when it does.
Cringe comes to us all. We might as well be happy and comfortable when it does.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
The best thing about middle age is not giving one single solitary fuck about being cool anymore.
December 16, 2025 at 1:59 PM
The best thing about middle age is not giving one single solitary fuck about being cool anymore.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
My plan is this — let Congress members buy their insurance in the same way they are proposing for others.
Rand Paul: "My plan is this -- let people on the Obamacare market, which is about 4% of America, a small number of people, let them buy their insurance through Costco, Sam's Club, Amazon ... "
December 14, 2025 at 3:38 PM
My plan is this — let Congress members buy their insurance in the same way they are proposing for others.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
The moment when AI news summaries accidentally create the murder mystery we deserve
December 14, 2025 at 3:33 PM
The moment when AI news summaries accidentally create the murder mystery we deserve
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"The global wealth gap has become so staggering, and its impact on economies and democratic institutions so corrosive, that policymakers should treat it as an emergency."
Richest 0.001% Now Own Three Times More Wealth Than Poorest Half of Humanity Combined | Common Dreams
A landmark report on global inequality shows that
the chasm between the richest slice of humanity and everyone else
continued to expand this year
www.commondreams.org
December 13, 2025 at 11:44 PM
"The global wealth gap has become so staggering, and its impact on economies and democratic institutions so corrosive, that policymakers should treat it as an emergency."
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Snitches get stitches
December 3, 2024 at 12:05 AM
Snitches get stitches
Explaining to the cat there comes a time even on chilly mornings when we have to get out of bed.
December 13, 2025 at 2:25 PM
Explaining to the cat there comes a time even on chilly mornings when we have to get out of bed.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Taking showers is woke now. Why do you, as a man, want to smell good? You know who else wants to smell good? Women.
December 12, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Taking showers is woke now. Why do you, as a man, want to smell good? You know who else wants to smell good? Women.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
It's so fucked up to have been a kid during the D&D is the devil freakout and the Tipper Gore dirty lyrics freakout and live to see the teen suicide machine get such a pass.
December 12, 2025 at 5:40 PM
It's so fucked up to have been a kid during the D&D is the devil freakout and the Tipper Gore dirty lyrics freakout and live to see the teen suicide machine get such a pass.
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Every legal story now is either
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
October 3, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Every legal story now is either
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
Reposted by Aspen Junge
sharks, i come today with an opportunity for you to invest in a cask of the finest amontillado in the world. please follow me into the catacombs so you can try it for yourselves
December 11, 2025 at 10:01 PM
sharks, i come today with an opportunity for you to invest in a cask of the finest amontillado in the world. please follow me into the catacombs so you can try it for yourselves
Reposted by Aspen Junge
Sen. Roger Marshall (R-Kansas) says women do be “great shoppers.”
So true! What they don't be doing, though, is getting reproductive healthcare from their GOP representatives
So true! What they don't be doing, though, is getting reproductive healthcare from their GOP representatives
GOP Senator Says Women Be Shopping!
Sen. Roger Marshall said women are "great shoppers." Which is so true! What they don't be doing, though, is getting reproductive healthcare from their GOP representatives.
www.jezebel.com
December 12, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Sen. Roger Marshall (R-Kansas) says women do be “great shoppers.”
So true! What they don't be doing, though, is getting reproductive healthcare from their GOP representatives
So true! What they don't be doing, though, is getting reproductive healthcare from their GOP representatives
Reposted by Aspen Junge
This is an impeachment offense, and if our press were worth half of a quarter of a shit, it would be all over every single channel, kind of like Joe Biden being a bit slow with a name now and then.
This should be the biggest story in the country right now. The sitting US President was extorting state lawmakers from his own party by threatening to withhold public money if they didn’t gerrymander for him.
I don’t know how else to say it…
I don’t know how else to say it…
December 12, 2025 at 5:09 AM
This is an impeachment offense, and if our press were worth half of a quarter of a shit, it would be all over every single channel, kind of like Joe Biden being a bit slow with a name now and then.