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stabke

@stabke.bsky.social

3.8K followers 300 following 600 posts

skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ttg5z7y26v3nhuvcseyg4mpi/feed/aaaajcukszjem Champs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ttg5z7y26v3nhuvcseyg4mpi/feed/aaaampslwh62o

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stabke @stabke.bsky.social · Jul 21

Listen. Life is short. Take the vacation. Eat the dessert. Dress like an elderly British woman to defy custody laws and see your kids. Get the guacamole yes I know it’s extra. Be extra.

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Willie Fitzgerald @williefitz.bsky.social · Jul 3

JIMINY GLICK: Now you, you, you, you—your cars, they tend to run over pedestrians. Or else BURST into flames. ha HA isn't that wonderful!
ELON MUSK: *the least convincing laugh of all time*
GLICK: *tucking his legs under himself* You bought a website where no one likes you. Why?

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 12h

My bank's website is one letter off from a gross German porn site and it's annoying because I keep accidentally visiting my bank's website.

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stabke @stabke.bsky.social · 15h

Sure my dad may have put out a cigarette on my arm but Biggy Smalls put 24 carrots in his babygirl’s ear

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 18h

“Hey mister, wanna see me go really fast? Mister?”

A young cheetah reaches out to grab the pant leg of a person next to them.

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stabke @stabke.bsky.social · 19h

VIDEO: Super Bowl halftime performer Bad Bunny seen not doing the BA BA BAAAA part to Sweet Caroline

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 4d

i don’t have the heart to tell him

A package of teal and brown cookies labeled "Black and White Cookies."

A white dog in a chef's hat in front of a rolling pin.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 4d

You're beautiful when you're angry at that other guy.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 4d

when you totally misread the vibe

A cow leans over a fence and licks the face of a very surprised-looking woman.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 3d

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do scrapbooking.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 3d

Them: Can you help me?

Me: I don’t work here.

Them: Oh, sorry. *leaves*

My boss: You need to stop doing that.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 2d

“Someone you don’t know did something you don’t care about.” -social media notifications

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 2d

“I’m in a sorry state.”

"I thought you called them provinces.“

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Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 2d

Last night I dreamt I met God but he teased me about wetting the bed

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2d

Inside the house, the potential serial killer, box open on the table, tries to distract himself from the voices incessantly clamoring in his head. He knows that he’s just one last tiny push away from madness.

Outside in the driveway, a cat stares at his stolen treasure, laughing quietly to himself.

A single puzzle piece sits on the ground.

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Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 1d

Thank you for pointing out the logical fallacy in my fart joke

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bloody bacon popsicle 🧀 @gupton68.bsky.social · 23h

Someone at the supermarket asked if I knew where the cheese aisle was and it was just pure instinct to give them wrong directions so there was more cheese left for me.