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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

@simeonthefool.bsky.social

1.3K followers 840 following 4.1K posts

Official patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Sillier than thou. Pitied by Mr. T. World’s leading authority on Emile Gouffart. Innocent bystander. Professor Demetrius of Chaos Theology!

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Sep 10

Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!

Because, well why not, that's why!

bsky.app/profile/pump...

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · Sep 10

Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 9h

Until rather recently, Wikipedia’s “List Of People Who Have Been Pied” used to have a header box that said “This list may be incomplete. You can help by expanding it.”

gamera obscura @ohrobin.bsky.social · 12h

Happy Anita Bryant Humiliation Day

A four-panel image of Anita Bryant being pied in her sanctimonious face by gay rights activist Thom Higgins, 1977.

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 13h

Thou sayest the King grows mad, I’ll tell thee, friend,
I am almost mad myself.

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Dan Hassler-Forest @danhf.bsky.social · 5d

Samuel Beckett is *cackling* in his grave. 😈

Lux "Nightmare" Alptraum @luxalptraum.com · 6d

TFW you paid $1400 to see Beckett’s most famous work without knowing anything about it

One Star Review of Waiting for Godot on Broadway
I recently attended Waiting for Godot on Broadway and spent over $1,400 for two Row C seats (103 and 104). I'm a longtime admirer of Broadway productions and even hold a season pass for Shea's Performing Arts Theatre, so I came in with genuine enthusiasm and high expectations. Unfortunately, this show was unlike anything ! have ever experienced —and not in a good way.
What I encountered was not the artistry, music, or emotional storytelling I usually associate with Broadway, but instead what felt like an endless cycle of nonsensical conversation between characters who seemed trapped in their own madness. I tried-truly tried-to find meaning, symbolism, or even a thread of emotional resonance. I stayed through the first half hoping the second would offer clarity. But by intermission, it was clear: this was a waste of both time and money.
Keanu Reeves is an actor I respect greatly, but I cannot fathom why he would agree to participate in such a disjointed, inaccessible production. His talent was lost in a performance that defied reason rather than provoked insight.
To anyone considering attending: unless you are drawn to highly abstract, nearly incomprehensible theater, I strongly caution you against this show. For the average, educated, thoughtful theatergoer, it is far more frustrating than fulfilling. In my opinion, this was the single most disappointing Broadway experience I've ever had - an unfortunate waste of money and, more importantly, of time.

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Sammi 🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇦🇵🇸 @clairyjoe.bsky.social · 17h

Have some cute to break up the utter fucking despair.

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Dec 23

ALL OF THE OTHER REINDEER (with glee): “You’ll go down in history!”

THAT ONE GUY: “Like Columbus!”

RUDOLPH: “Wait, what?”

GUY: “Like… Columbus…. in history.”

RUDOLPH: “And what did Columbus go down for in history exactly?”

GUY:

SANTA: “Being on the Extra Naughty List!”

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 19h

Meanwhile in Japan

Mondo Mascots @mondomascots.bsky.social · 16d

Multiple mascots at the Yuruverse event in Sumida Park yesterday.

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Pretty good alibi if you can get it

Courtney Milan @courtneymilan.com · 1d

The funny thing (not funny, but curious) is that if they HAD let him testify, they would have ABSOLUTELY had to acquit the defendants.

Because the defendants were charged with murdering him.

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Oh no I am so sorry 😿

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

1 = wug
2 = wugwug
3 = wugwugwug
4 = wugwugwugwug

and so on

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Her shop is right next to the barber, Harry Styles

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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 1d

Pumpkin Spice Subconscious Mind

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Taylor Swift, alters clothes in a jiffy

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Nazzareno Romano

creator of the Pizza Stromboli
in 1950
in Philadelphia

Katelyn Boo-urns @katelynburns.com · 1d

name an italian more worthy of an american holiday than columbus

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 4d

Got kicked out of my work’s holiday party planning committee for suggesting the theme be “man’s inhumanity to man”

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ShitpostBot 5000 @shitpostbot.com · 2d

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The Super Mario Bros Super Bot! @supershowbot.bsky.social · 1d

Hey! We could sing! ♪ 100 bottles of milk on the wall, 100 bottles of milk! If one of the bottles should happen to fall, 99 bottles of milk on the wall! ♪

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

The Super Mario Bros Super Bot! @supershowbot.bsky.social · 1d

Rambo Bubble Gum card... 'Out-of-this-world girl with head in the clouds, loves to travel'. Madone, Mario! This girl sounds like a 7-4-7!

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

BeijingPalmer @beijingpalmer.bsky.social · 2d

the good news for donald trump is that he could sincerely repent of his sins and he would be welcomed into the arms of a loving god. the bad news for donald trump is that he's donald trump.

BeijingPalmer @beijingpalmer.bsky.social · 2d

I'm forming a new heresy: universalism with one exception.

Yashar Ali 🐘 @yasharali.bsky.social · 2d

President Trump tells reporters aboard Air Force One that he doesn’t think he’s going to get into heaven.

“I don’t think there’s anything that’s going to get me into heaven.”

(I isolated Trump’s voice)

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2d

[Karl Marx holding a flashlight under his chin] they say sometimes on a dark night you can still hear the specter that is haunting Europe

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2d

Dril tweet:

i Fucking hate it when i come at the king and miss, especially when I best not do that

5:03 PM • Aug 22, 2018

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2d

Wow apparently so

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d

Virgo: You are destined to become the best in your chosen profession, in a last person alive sort of way.

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Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d

Sagittarius: Today’s planetary configuration resembles a middle finger but it’s probably nothing.

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

amy brown (spooky edition) @amybrown.xyz · 2d

riding in the car when my son (3.5) said “i have something silly to tell you. roll up the windows so nobody hears” and then he told us a clown is coming to our house. to live with us forever

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2d

Bizarrely this is the second time this has happened to me today

(I just ran into @rutiregan.bsky.social on here earlier)