Sorrowscopes
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Things are terrible
(we follow our contributors)
(we follow our contributors)
Pinned
Sorrowscopes
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
· Nov 14
A lot of very funny and talented people have written for Sorrowscopes over the years- here they are!
bsky.app/starter-pack...
bsky.app/starter-pack...
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
BREAKING: Trump Pardons 'Rock Boy,' the Boy Who Throws Rocks at People
November 29, 2025 at 3:22 AM
BREAKING: Trump Pardons 'Rock Boy,' the Boy Who Throws Rocks at People
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Is it too pretentious to quote Kierkegaard in a death threat to your mechanic?
October 24, 2023 at 9:42 PM
Is it too pretentious to quote Kierkegaard in a death threat to your mechanic?
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
My manifesto really gets rolling around page 1720.
September 20, 2023 at 6:41 PM
My manifesto really gets rolling around page 1720.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
[observing someone’s obsessive passion project] wow i really like whatever’s wrong with that guy
November 28, 2025 at 11:40 PM
[observing someone’s obsessive passion project] wow i really like whatever’s wrong with that guy
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Studio Sale!
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
Shop – whatmaddness
whatmaddness.com
November 24, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Studio Sale!
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
I’m packing up my studio and moving across the country, which means all art is on sale 🥳🥳🥳 It’s the perfect time to get a holiday gift for yourself or someone else (and help me clear out my pile of work!)
whatmaddness.com/shop
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
making my friendship bracelets out of bones
November 28, 2025 at 9:21 PM
making my friendship bracelets out of bones
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Part of Thanksgiving should be eating the least popular family member
November 27, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Part of Thanksgiving should be eating the least popular family member
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
I am especially thankful for:
@aliciakraft.bsky.social
@itsabbyyep.bsky.social
@whatsjo.bsky.social
@wheeltod.bsky.social
Follow them for the secrets of eternal life [terms and conditions may apply]
@aliciakraft.bsky.social
@itsabbyyep.bsky.social
@whatsjo.bsky.social
@wheeltod.bsky.social
Follow them for the secrets of eternal life [terms and conditions may apply]
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 AM
I am especially thankful for:
@aliciakraft.bsky.social
@itsabbyyep.bsky.social
@whatsjo.bsky.social
@wheeltod.bsky.social
Follow them for the secrets of eternal life [terms and conditions may apply]
@aliciakraft.bsky.social
@itsabbyyep.bsky.social
@whatsjo.bsky.social
@wheeltod.bsky.social
Follow them for the secrets of eternal life [terms and conditions may apply]
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Still looking for work and short on funds this month. Any help appreciated, even just a share. Thanks for understanding. gofund.me/9c9a6081e
Donate to Lend a Hand to Greg During Job Search, organized by Greg Mills
Hello. I'm Greg. I've been out of work for a few years now, and while I can occasiona… Greg Mills needs your support for Lend a Hand to Greg During Job Search
gofund.me
November 19, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Still looking for work and short on funds this month. Any help appreciated, even just a share. Thanks for understanding. gofund.me/9c9a6081e
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
My daughter is a trans woman.
Here is a comprehensive list of people and institutions she's harming by identifying as a different gender than she did as a child:
Here is a comprehensive list of people and institutions she's harming by identifying as a different gender than she did as a child:
October 22, 2024 at 3:10 PM
My daughter is a trans woman.
Here is a comprehensive list of people and institutions she's harming by identifying as a different gender than she did as a child:
Here is a comprehensive list of people and institutions she's harming by identifying as a different gender than she did as a child:
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Hi #portfolioday, I’m Nick an artist out of MA (soon to NC) with a focus on horror and tabletop games. I have a website nickeldoodle.com wow ok thanks
October 14, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Hi #portfolioday, I’m Nick an artist out of MA (soon to NC) with a focus on horror and tabletop games. I have a website nickeldoodle.com wow ok thanks
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
My husband & I watch A LOT of horror movies. Imagine a high number of horror movies & it's even more than that. So, we decided to create a site to showcase his reviews & my random thoughts. But the question was- when was the right time to talk about horror? Well, Fright About Now. frightaboutnow.com
Fright About Now
Film reviews for people who love movies- by people who love movies.
frightaboutnow.com
November 15, 2025 at 8:48 PM
My husband & I watch A LOT of horror movies. Imagine a high number of horror movies & it's even more than that. So, we decided to create a site to showcase his reviews & my random thoughts. But the question was- when was the right time to talk about horror? Well, Fright About Now. frightaboutnow.com
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
November 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
SORRY THESE ARE LATE I TOOK TOO MANY EDIBLES AND COULDN’T ESCAPE THE CORN MAZE
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Aries: Is this the best you can do? Seriously?
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Taurus: Make time for your family this week. You might need a kidney some day.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Gemini: Stop blaming yourself for things you can’t control and start blaming yourself for your terrible choices.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Cancer: The pattern of your sweat stain on your T-shirt is the closest you’ve come to making art in years. What happened to you? What happened to that passionate child you used to be?
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Cancer: The pattern of your sweat stain on your T-shirt is the closest you’ve come to making art in years. What happened to you? What happened to that passionate child you used to be?
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Leo: Congratulations! Or deepest sympathies. It's still unclear.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Leo: Congratulations! Or deepest sympathies. It's still unclear.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Virgo: Sometimes you are your own worst enemy. Not today though. Today it is Jeff.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Libra: Big changes are in store for you at work this week! (A slightly faster printer.)
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Libra: Big changes are in store for you at work this week! (A slightly faster printer.)
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Scorpio: You’ll wake up with a feeling of doom and ennui. Don’t be overly concerned. Eventually the sun will envelop the earth.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Scorpio: You’ll wake up with a feeling of doom and ennui. Don’t be overly concerned. Eventually the sun will envelop the earth.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Sagittarius: Your family has already planted a tree on the spot where you're to be buried. It's nothing sinister exactly they just all agree it should be "so big and hungry for [you]." Little bit sinister.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Sagittarius: Your family has already planted a tree on the spot where you're to be buried. It's nothing sinister exactly they just all agree it should be "so big and hungry for [you]." Little bit sinister.
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Capricorn: Prepare for a busy, productive day (you’ll be forced into harvesting ore).
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Capricorn: Prepare for a busy, productive day (you’ll be forced into harvesting ore).
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
Aquarius: Some self reflection will show you that you and your partner have a symbiotic relationship, in that you turn them into a darker version of Spider-Man.
November 9, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Aquarius: Some self reflection will show you that you and your partner have a symbiotic relationship, in that you turn them into a darker version of Spider-Man.