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sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social
24K followers 110 following 1.5K posts
Things are terrible (we follow our contributors)
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sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · Nov 14
A lot of very funny and talented people have written for Sorrowscopes over the years- here they are!
bsky.app/starter-pack...
41 190 700
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sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · May 12
THE NEW SORROWSCOPES ARE HERE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL THE CLOAKED STRANGER WHO’S CHASING YOU THROUGH THE CATACOMBS.
8 58 320
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Aries: If you had a chance to do it all over again, you’d make the same fucked up choices.
8 69 240
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Taurus: You will have the opportunity to exact a terrible vengeance. Take it. Treat yourself.
11 110 390
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Gemini: Sure, your life choices will ultimately be your undoing, but you’re the type of stubborn that makes Fate weep so there’s that.
10 70 230
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Cancer: You may not get everything that you want, but that's just because the universe hates you.
6 64 220
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Leo: Instead of fixating on your own flaws, turn that magnifying glass onto other people. Use sunlight to incinerate them like the disgusting insects they are.
4 71 240
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Virgo: You are destined to become the best in your chosen profession, in a last person alive sort of way.
4 45 210
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Libra: If you’re considering a big purchase, now’s the time to go for it, as the purchase will drain the last of your funds. And then you won’t be able to make any big purchases. Dumbass!!
1 28 130
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Scorpio: If you’re looking for answers from giant balls of plasma that are millions of miles away, it’s already too late. See a therapist. Eat a burrito.
7 70 290
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Sagittarius: Today’s planetary configuration resembles a middle finger but it’s probably nothing.
8 84 350
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Capricorn: Use the upcoming time change to reflect on the passing of years, or to pretend you're in a really ponderous, low-budget sci-fi movie.
1 34 160
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Aquarius: You will come to realize that being sold to the circus when you were nine may have caused some lasting emotional trauma.
3 53 220
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Pisces: No matter what your sports watch says, what you just did in front of the computer doesn’t count as exercise.
5 39 180
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · Nov 17
THE NEW SORROWSCOPES ARE HERE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL BLUESKY ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE ASTROLOGERS
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · Nov 14
A lot of very funny and talented people have written for Sorrowscopes over the years- here they are!
bsky.app/starter-pack...
82 360
Reposted by Sorrowscopes
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · Jul 6
SORRY THESE ARE LATE THE BILLIONAIRE WHO’S HUNTING ME FOR SPORT PULLED A HAMSTRING SO WE HAD TO CALL A TIMEOUT
6 71 590
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Aries: If you had a chance to do it all over again, you’d make the same fucked up choices.
8 69 240
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Taurus: You will have the opportunity to exact a terrible vengeance. Take it. Treat yourself.
11 110 390
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Gemini: Sure, your life choices will ultimately be your undoing, but you’re the type of stubborn that makes Fate weep so there’s that.
10 70 230
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Cancer: You may not get everything that you want, but that's just because the universe hates you.
6 64 220
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Leo: Instead of fixating on your own flaws, turn that magnifying glass onto other people. Use sunlight to incinerate them like the disgusting insects they are.
4 71 240
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Virgo: You are destined to become the best in your chosen profession, in a last person alive sort of way.
4 45 210
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Libra: If you’re considering a big purchase, now’s the time to go for it, as the purchase will drain the last of your funds. And then you won’t be able to make any big purchases. Dumbass!!
1 28 130
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Scorpio: If you’re looking for answers from giant balls of plasma that are millions of miles away, it’s already too late. See a therapist. Eat a burrito.
7 70 290
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Sagittarius: Today’s planetary configuration resembles a middle finger but it’s probably nothing.
8 84 350
sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 2d
Capricorn: Use the upcoming time change to reflect on the passing of years, or to pretend you're in a really ponderous, low-budget sci-fi movie.
1 34 160